Why should I accept a child who has clearly made a mistake

01. Paradox. Since my daughter started junior high school, the most important thing about me is that no matter what her state is, I can handle it and make her feel good.

This acceptance is what we call ‘acceptance’. There are two aspects, one is to accept what is happening outside that makes the child unhappy, and the other is to accept that the child’s behavior does not meet your expectations.

So, the premise of acceptance is that the child did not meet your expectations. For example, when you ask him to do homework, he is playing games; You hope he has a good personality, but he gets angry recklessly; You hope he is happy, but he is unhappy; You hope he is gentle and kind, but he always complains; You hope he is smart, but he always reacts slowly.

Countless moments like this, when a child disappoints, gets angry, resentful, and so on, are the times when you truly need to accept them.

But you may be confused: even though you think your child is doing something wrong or not doing well, you still have to accept them.

This sounds like a paradox, and it’s also the hardest part of acceptance. But the most difficult part is precisely what can bring about the greatest transformation.

This is also the most fascinating aspect of acceptance. 02. Non confrontation is a major prerequisite for acceptance.

If parents always want to change their children, the older the children will become more disobedient.

Because we only want our children to grow up according to our standards, but we do not allow them to live their own lives.

And this standard is mostly related to the personal opinions of parents. For example, if a child has a conflict with a child outside and gets beaten up, and you are very angry, tell the child to return it and not be so weak.

The child learned to fight back from this. If there is a conflict with someone older than him, do we still have to fight back.

Can using violence to counter violence solve all conflicts. The answer is negative. So, what is the standard of weakness.

What do we bring to children when we tell them not to be weak. Do we need to cultivate a child who is imprisoned by various “standards” of their parents.

But many parents’ love for their children is self-centered, committed to shaping them into the person they aspire to be.

I remember reading a fable in a book. In ancient Greece, there was a great thief who had a bed. The thief stopped passersby and placed them on this bed.

If your body is longer than the bed, he will use a knife to cut off the extra parts and let you choose whether to chop your head or your feet.

If your body doesn’t have this bed length, he will pull you to this bed that long. Anyway, the passerby he caught had only two outcomes: either death or serious injury.

This fable may be somewhat cruel, but it serves as a warning. Education is not about fitting children into a self proclaimed correct standard, but about cultivating a dynamic and intelligent child.

Acceptance is an essential ability for parents. 03. Wait for the simplest acceptance, learn to wait first.

When encountering behavior from your child that does not meet your expectations, don’t rush to reason or blame.

Wait for a moment, give yourself time to observe and understand, and also give your child a process of self reflection and adjustment.

If one is eager to change, it will inevitably lead to children’s confrontation and internal friction.

In this emotional state, I no longer want to do what I could have done well. Parents slow down so that children have space to see themselves.

Then, you will have the opportunity to discover that your child’s self adjustment ability exceeds your imagination.

There is a 7-year-old boy named Hamburg on Tiktok. His mother often records his daily life. Once, a child was taking online classes at home and needed to record a video of reading aloud to check in.

From the camera, it can be seen that Little Burger is recording his homework very seriously. Unfortunately, every time there is a slight error, he repeats it over and over again.

Just when he was about to succeed, he accidentally mispronounced it again. This time, Little Burger completely collapsed.

He first cried with grievance, then started to lose his temper and even wanted to tear up the book. But he suddenly realized that tearing the book was wrong and stopped again.

Little Burger was filled with frustration and anger, with nowhere to ease. He walked helplessly around the room, trying to find his parents, but found no one at home.

After having no way to seek help, Little Burger burst into tears. Crying, his emotions slowly calmed down.

I wiped away my tears and continued recording the video, which was successful this time. Many netizens commented that seeing children under such great pressure, enduring so much, being aggrieved yet sensible, is truly heartbreaking.

However, what people overlook is that a child experiences a complete process of emotional breakdown, venting, and self adjustment.

This process, which only takes a little over two minutes, is a precious growth for the child. In the face of setbacks, allow yourself to have emotions, allow yourself to vent, and at the same time know what not to do (not tear up books), then continue to work hard after venting, and finally complete it.

Isn’t this the inner strength we have always pursued. Little Burger has done it. The most crucial factor in this is the absence of parental interference.

Mom didn’t blame her child when he made mistakes; I didn’t stop my child when he was feeling emotional either; I didn’t reason with him when he was defeated; They did not pass on their negative emotions to their children.

If the mother is at home, she can also be calm and not in a hurry. Wait a minute and see what happens to the child next.

That child will also experience emotional fluctuations in their own way, handle their emotions with boundaries, adjust their state, and strive to do things well.

This is the power of acceptance- THE END – Click to see if every child can be accepted.