The education of children is the foundation of parents’ life: please persistently cultivate yourself

A mother sighed to me, ‘It’s annoying to be a mother who’s as tired as I am. ‘ I asked her a question: ‘How do you think you’re not tired.

‘. However, most parents lack a lasting and in-depth understanding of their children and education. Suddenly realizing, I quickly took care of it.

When I saw something unsatisfactory about my child, I began to worry about their college entrance examination ten years later, marriage fifteen years later, and career twenty years later.

and this worry itself could ruin their future. Parents are worried because they have been intermittently paying attention to their children.

If their children have problems, they pay more attention, and if there are no obvious problems, they pay less attention.

Lack of macro control over children’s education, uncertainty about what to do, what not to do, and whether to do enough.

Therefore, there is a lack of certainty about the future development direction of children. If you are not sure, you will panic.

Why do mothers feel anxious. So why aren’t many mothers confident and certain. Many mothers, after ending their academic careers, having jobs, families, and children, achieve a superficial “perfection” and give up self exploration.

Life follows the principle of ‘the most comfortable’, appearing relaxed, carefree, and stable, which is enviable.

In fact, many life issues have not been completed, but have been put on hold. For example, this is like a ‘cliff of growth’.

Many mothers think they have chosen a comfortable path, but end up passively sinking into the quagmire of troubles.

In the end, what is paid is not less, but more. I have many friends who are about ten years older than me.

We often chat together and talk about their peers’ status. People of this age are particularly prone to two directions: either becoming richer and more charming; Either the vision becomes increasingly narrow and distant from the external world.

A sharp female writer even used the phrase ‘died at forty, buried at eighty’ to describe this state, which makes people feel desolate when read.

Of course, choosing the most comfortable lifestyle is not a mistake. However, the issues of life will not be separated by our avoidance.

Parker wrote in his book “The Road Less Traveled”: “Our concept of reality is like a map, through which we constantly negotiate and agree with the terrain and landforms of life.

If the map is accurate, we can determine our position, know where to go, and how to get there; if the map is full of loopholes, we will lose our direction.

Some people give up drawing maps after adolescence. Most people in middle age believe that the map is perfect and their worldview is flawless.

They even consider themselves sacred and inviolable. They have little interest in new information and data, and seem exhausted.

Only a few lucky people can continue to work hard. They constantly explore, expand, and update themselves.

Understanding the world until the end of life Our life map should be positioned through at least three sets of relationships, namely our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with others, and our relationship with the world.

If we don’t want to draw a ‘life map’ anymore, there are also many ways to escape. The simplest way is to retreat and maintain the status quo.

Many people do not accept themselves, often self denying and self attacking, but give up inner exploration and choose to endure and escape.

In the face of obstacles in interpersonal relationships, it is not about resolving them, but rather simplifying them, some leaving only family relationships.

In front of family, even if one acts recklessly, they will still receive tolerance. The view of the world remains unchanged, no longer curious about the world.

Many mothers bury their heads in their daily lives and avoid these three relationships to the greatest extent possible.

Pike’s other statement is concise and to the point: the tendency to avoid problems and pain is the root of human psychological disorders.

Education should be a process of spring breeze and rain. If in most cases, we can escape, then the arrival of children leaves mothers with nowhere to escape.

Children only live by nature and intuition, and parent-child relationships are not completely equal interpersonal relationships.

Our emotions and maturity, our understanding and attitude towards life, and our ability to handle intimate relationships are all reflected in this little life.

In a sense, children are the teachers of their parents. They come into this world to urge their parents to make up for the missed courses and constantly improve their life map.

If we cannot handle our relationships with ourselves and others, how can we handle our relationships with children well.

If we are no longer curious about the world, how can we keep children’s curiosity. A mother sighed and said, “I only now understand the saying ‘a child is an angel’.

If I hadn’t encountered difficulties in raising him, I wouldn’t have explored or deeply reflected on my own growth process and thinking patterns.

Now, my life is moving towards openness, and this is the change brought by children. If we resist growth, we will shift the task of growth onto our children.

If we cannot accept ourselves and are not satisfied with ourselves, we particularly need a satisfactory child.

If we cannot handle the parent-child relationship well, we will have an image of an “ideal child” in our hearts, hoping that the child will actively meet our expectations.

So, almost bound together with the child, advancing and retreating together, sharing joys and sorrows.

The child was praised by the teacher, and the day was very pleasant; The child did poorly in the exam, and their mood suddenly darkened In this way, the child will become the biggest ‘Band Aid’ in life.

It is difficult for a child to take on the task of growing up with two people, and such a state is bound to cause problems.

The king of educating children, persistently cultivating oneself and choosing to grow together with children, means that we need to re-examine the three most basic relationships, face life’s problems, seek answers, and improve ourselves.

We are not truly adults after the age of 18, at times we are just big children. We have accumulated many hidden wounds in our growth, and many growth tasks have not been completed.

When dealing with children, these problems have once again surfaced, which is also a good clue. When we feel trapped and powerless, we may as well stop and see what is hindering us.

When we stop avoiding and bravely face problems, it also means leaving our psychological comfort zone and entering an uncertain state.

The most beautiful flowers in the world bloom on the hardest branches, and growth is a process of breaking free from cocoons and becoming butterflies.

Growing up means taking risks, and also
Accompanied by pain, this is also the main reason why we avoid growing up.

This process may involve suffering, confusion, and anxiety, but as long as we persist in thinking, we will eventually find a solution.

When faced with confusion, reading opens a window, and it is necessary for us to learn some knowledge about psychology.

Fortunately, the quality of popular psychology works is getting higher and higher nowadays. We will find that after solving each problem, our lives become more transparent and smooth, and we will no longer be tripped by the same stone.

Behind every dilemma lies a gift of life. I have always believed that educational methods and techniques are just the tip of the iceberg for children’s success.

Sometimes, a child’s education is about their foundation, their parents’ attitude towards life, and their insights into life.

That is to say, parents will be involved in education throughout their entire lives. From the current situation, mothers bear a heavier responsibility for education.

So, I always advise my mother that as one reaches middle age, the road should become wider and wider.

Being low in the dust, washing hands and making soup, was originally a very happy thing. However, simply understanding the necessities of life will lead to a growing distance from a child’s spiritual world.

The king of educating children is to persistently cultivate oneself. The most ideal state – what the child understands, we understand; What children don’t understand, we also understand, at least we need to have some interaction with them.

This long process of exploration is not only for oneself, but also for the child. The starting point of a child is the shoulders of their parents.

So, children will never have the same starting line. So, I respect parents who are diligent, eager to learn, and never give up on their own growth.

Source: Daily Montessori.