Many parents, in the process of educating their children, may raise their voices and stare with big eyes when they are not paying attention, sounding like copper bells, as if they were born with a loudspeaker.
In fact, speaking is also an art. Here, we would like to share a passage with you, hoping to help everyone and children: speak slowly when it’s urgent; Big things, clearly stated; Small things, humorously said; Be cautious when it comes to uncertain matters; Don’t talk nonsense about things that haven’t happened; Don’t talk nonsense about things you can’t do; Things that harm people cannot be said; Disgusting things, say them to the person but not to the person; Happy things, watch and talk together.
What is low voice education. Low voice education is an educational method that is opposite to teaching children to shout loudly.
If parents or preschool teachers frequently scold children who have made mistakes loudly, it will have a negative impact on their character development and mental health.
At this point, we need to consider switching to low voice education. If you frequently scold children who have made mistakes loudly, it will not only have no effect, but also have a negative impact on their character growth and mental health.
01. There are many disadvantages to shouting loudly at children. Frequent shouting can have a negative impact on parent-child relationships and can lead to a lack of trust in others in the future.
When I was young, I was often scared. As I grew older, I would go to two extremes: one was very timid and afraid of things, and the other was that my emotions would change greatly.
The brain, which frequently curses, loudly curses, and becomes increasingly deaf as it curses, has a characteristic of turning a blind eye to habitual things and turning a deaf ear to them.
When scolding loudly for the first time, the child can be scared to cry “as you wish”, but after being scolded more times, they get used to it.
Every time they are scolded, their attention is wandering, as the saying goes, “Enter the world of fish and fish, and smell it for a long time without realizing its odor”.
Shouting and scolding a child is a waste of words. The downside of scolding a child is that when they become nervous, their brain automatically switches to an escape mechanism, and all their attention is focused on how to escape, leaving parents in vain.
In addition, imitation is a child’s nature. If you shout at him loudly, he will also shout at others loudly in the future, which is harmful to the child’s temperament but not beneficial.
02. Scientific basis for low voice education Psychologists have found that different tones have different effects when dealing with the same thing.
When adults criticize children, using low tones makes it easier for children to accept. This is because: 1.
Low tones can make people more rational and emotionally calm, and can also relax children’s psychological defenses against resistance and rebellion, which is conducive to communication.
► 2. Criticizing children in a low voice can not only focus the other person’s hearing, but also preemptively prevent them from using high tones.
3. A low tone can drive away anger. Parents are the first teachers of their children. When faced with problems, parents who are irritable, lack calmness, and loudly scold have a negative impact on their children’s personalities.
03. Methods and measures of low voice education: Before speaking, please think twice and use appropriate tone and wording.
The effect will be very good. For example, “I love you, but I cannot accept your behavior” may sound awkward at first, but after a while, the child will naturally understand what you mean.
Explain to your child the requirements you expect them to meet, such as taking them to the supermarket, telling them not to touch the goods, and warning them of the consequences if they violate them.
You need to implement it from beginning to end without making loud threats. Do not use language that hurts a child’s self-esteem to deal with the matter at hand, do not vent your emotions towards the child at will, and do not use language that hurts a child’s self-esteem.
Respect and trust from others can boost children’s confidence and serve as an important driving force for their progress.
Beating and scolding education is definitely not the best way, and its immediate effect will not last long.
04. How to discipline children without shouting. 1. The key to patiently listening and disciplining children is to identify the reasons for their mistakes and start from the source.
At this point, teachers and parents should calm down first, have more patience, and ask their children what the reason is for doing this.
When understanding a child’s thoughts and helping them solve problems, one may discover that their behavior is actually understandable and has already released many negative emotions.
2. Put down your posture and negotiate with your child. Some parents always like to treat their children with a top-down attitude, which often exacerbates conflicts.
It may be a good way to put down your posture and take a step back. For example, when a child wants to jump on the sofa but a parent has something to think about, they can ask the child to jump on the bed in the bedroom, or ask them to wait for a while before jumping, or take the child to the park to jump freely after the matter is resolved.
3. Let children experience the consequences. If children always can’t listen to adults, no matter how much you shout, it’s useless.
So, on the premise of ensuring safety and avoiding adverse consequences, parents can also let their children experience the feeling of “self inflicted harm”.
Through my own practical experience, I deeply understand how correct and important parental guidance is.
4. Let children think from their perspective and understand how their actions can affect others by using a different way of reasoning.
As for the way of explaining the truth, the depth of explanation can be chosen according to the age of the child, and especially young children can use storytelling to do so.
5. Give your child another choice. When a child makes a mistake, don’t just shout at them and preach big truths, but give them another choice.
That is to say, don’t just say ‘no’, please point out a possible path for him to take.
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