Father’s Power: How to Influence a Child’s Lifetime Courage and Confidence

A good father can not only provide gentle care for his children, but also become a solid support for him to face the world.

Father’s love is the source of strength for children to face society, providing irreplaceable support for them to move towards independence.

Dad is reading an original: Dad’s hometown Hey, I’m Koken. Hurriedly rushing to Shanghai’s high-speed train at night.

Before leaving, I put on my backpack and looked down at my daughter, saying, “Dad is going to Shanghai.

I’ll call you tomorrow night. ” My daughter held a book and looked up at me, saying, “Dad, you haven’t hugged me yet.

” I was stunned for a moment, put down my backpack, and hugged her, saying, “I’m sorry, Dad almost forgot.

” Based on my own experience and understanding of being a father, we had a deep chat and shared it with our readers.

From a psychological perspective, fathers and mothers each play crucial roles in the growth process of their children.

Psychologists generally believe that the role of fathers in their children’s growth is reflected in how they interact with society, while the influence of mothers is more directed towards their children’s internal relationships, namely their ability to self recognize and regulate emotions.

This division of labor is not absolute, but in most families, both parents do leave profound imprints on different dimensions of their children’s spiritual growth.

1. Father’s love and mother’s love: two sources of growth needs. According to research from Harvard University, people have two core growth needs: one is intimacy, which comes from their mother; The second is the need for independence, which comes from the father.

The balance between these two needs affects a person’s emotional and social performance as an adult. Intimacy enables us to establish emotional connections with others and gain a sense of belonging; Independence gives us the courage to explore the world and the strength to face challenges.

At around the age of 3, the need for intimacy will gradually shift from the mother to the father. This transfer does not mean that the role of the mother becomes insignificant, but rather that the father begins to become an important bridge for children to explore the external world.

Especially during the critical period of 0-5 years old, the love, companionship, encouragement, and protection provided by fathers can help children develop a sense of security and confidence.

It is this inner sense of security that gives children the confidence to face setbacks and challenges in the future, enabling them to explore, fail, and take responsibility on their growth journey.

It is worth noting that this influence from the father carries a unique male perspective and sense of power.

Although the mother’s tenderness and protection are equally valuable, they cannot replace the father’s role in cultivating independence needs.

The unique influence of fathers on the growth of girls is of great concern to me as we are daughters in my family.

For a girl, her father is usually the first male image she comes into contact with in her life, and therefore becomes her initial reference for understanding men and the opposite sex.

If fathers can express more love and attention towards their daughters during critical stages of growth, especially in childhood, then girls will be more likely to form a positive recognition of their self-worth and a correct understanding of intimate relationships during their growth process.

This kind of love and support can help girls avoid unhealthy intimate relationships as adults, learn how to set boundaries, love and be loved.

However, if a girl lacks the love and care of her father during her growth process, or if her father’s attitude towards her is cold or strict, this may have a profound negative impact on her self-worth.

Psychological research points out that a girl who did not receive fatherly love in her childhood is prone to attribute her father’s indifference to herself as not being good enough and not worthy of love.

This self deprecating emotion will deeply rooted in her heart, gradually forming a perception of “I am not worthy of happiness”.

In intimate relationships as an adult, she may repeatedly repeat this pattern of self denial, and even subconsciously be attracted to emotionally distant and lacking warm men, repeating the negative interactions with her father in childhood.

This potential emotional pattern makes it difficult for her to achieve true satisfaction and security in intimate relationships.

Compared to girls, boys have a greater need for fatherly love during their growth process, and their dependence and imitation of their fathers are particularly evident.

Every boy needs to ‘grow up on his father’s shoulder’, which means observing, experiencing, and learning how his father faces the world in every detail of life.

Father is not only his role model, but also the leader in his transformation from a “child” to a “man” role.

The boy continuously absorbs and internalizes a sense of strength, responsibility, and security through interaction with his father.

If a boy has a harmonious relationship with his father during his growth, he will draw strength from his father and gradually transform it into his own sense of security.

This sense of security provides support when he faces challenges and authority, making him no longer afraid, but willing to face setbacks and the unknown.

If a boy has a bad relationship with his father and lacks his father’s recognition and encouragement, he may lack a sense of strength in adulthood and be filled with fear and anxiety when facing authority.

This fear is not a fear of authority itself, but an anxiety of self inadequacy, because he has never gained the trust and affirmation of himself from his father.

Father is the first ‘outsider’ in a boy’s growth process, and this outsider identity is different from that of mother, which determines how the boy will face the external world in the future.

The interaction with his father, especially the experience of being recognized and accepted, will make him dare to express himself in future social relationships, rather than being at a loss and following others’ evaluations step by step.

The consequences of strict suppression by fathers: suppression of boys’ growth. If fathers habitually use harsh criticism and suppression methods in the process of educating boys, the boy’s aggressiveness will be extremely suppressed.

The term ‘aggressiveness’ here refers to an inherent vitality and creativity within a person, rather than a narrow definition of violent behavior.

Aggression in psychology also represents a person’s ability to expand outward and break through their own boundaries.

If this aggressiveness is forcibly suppressed by the father in childhood, then boys often lack ambition in adulthood and exhibit a lack of initiative and proactivity towards anything.

Suppressed aggression can make boys appear weak in social situations, lacking competitiveness and awareness of protecting their own rights.

The vitality of a person is manifested in the courage to compete, challenge, and break through; The suppressed vitality manifests as fear of conflict, lack of confidence, and avoidance of responsibility.

A boy who was repeatedly suppressed during his childhood may not dare to face conflicts, take risks, or break through his comfort zone as he grows up.

Fear of conflict, inferiority complex, weakness, avoidance of responsibility, and even adherence to conventions are all
The external manifestation of suppressed vitality.

Such people, even when entering society as adults, often dare not compete and are afraid of failure, always staying in a self limiting “safe zone”.

Reflection: Behavior patterns in adulthood often stem from childhood. Therefore, if you find that you dare not compete in the workplace and life, always lack motivation, and have no courage to pursue higher achievements after entering society, these problems may not be simply personality defects or insufficient abilities, but deep-seated psychological problems.

The root of this problem can often be traced back to childhood experiences. Children who lack fatherly love tend to suppress their needs, fail to protect their rights, and even repeat unhealthy relationship patterns.

This’ unable to come out ‘relationship pattern may stem from the fact that we did not receive enough fatherly love during our childhood, lacking encouragement, support, and care from our fathers.

The negative interaction with our father makes us feel uneasy and uncertain in our future interpersonal relationships.

We often repeat the interaction patterns with our fathers in our early years, trying to find a familiar emotional belonging in unhealthy relationships.

Writing about the role of a father in the end (single parent, can also be completed): an irreplaceable existence.

In a child’s growth, the father’s role is both a source of strength and a bridge for the child to enter the external world.

What children learn from their fathers is not only how to treat others, but also the confidence and courage to stand firm in society.

A mother’s love gives children warmth and a sense of belonging, but only a father can give them resilience and strength to face wind and rain.

A father’s love is deep and powerful, and the support and protection he provides shape a child’s attitude and mindset when facing challenges.

Therefore, as fathers, we need to recognize our importance in the lives of our children. We should play the role of a good role model in children’s growth process, supporting them with gentleness and strength, and helping them become mature individuals who can both love and be independent.

The role of a father is irreplaceable, he is the guiding light for children as they enter the world, illuminating the direction of their growth.

Let us express our love for children in our daily lives and become a strong support for them on their journey forward.

In this way, as adults, they will be able to face the various challenges of this world with enough strength and security, and live their own lives.

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