Children with bright eyes are not so obedient to their parents

Adolescent children have a lot of wild imagination in their minds. A whimsical idea or adventurous behavior. These are all health manifestations of an adolescent child. This is the natural integration of life when we reach another important stage in life. It is also a manifestation of vigorous vitality. Curious and eager to try, I don’t know what a southern wall is. Children at this time are not so easy to ‘manage’. They are experiencing it recklessly. They will challenge their parents’ ” safe zone ‘. Just like a novice who has just obtained a driver’s license, they are full of desire for long-distance travel, but their skills are still very inexperienced. To grow, this is an inevitable stage. It’s not easy to ‘manage’, that’s right. Being obedient and sensible should not be the standard for measuring the success or failure of parenting. A child who has been taught to be particularly obedient and compliant looks quite worry free. Worry free, rest assured, located in the safe zone of your parents. But who did he listen to? Did he really agree with those words? What about his own words? Has he been listened to by himself? A child who is required to strictly adhere to N sets of rules and frameworks has no space to unleash their creativity. They restrain themselves. conservative. Being domesticated. As a result, a lot of youthful exuberance has been lost. The slowly fading light in the eyes. Reality is cruel and contradictory. Youthful eagerness to try, vitality naturally wants to break free from constraints. The heavy academic pressure, the successive enrollment milestones, and the school regulations that must be followed. These two are intertwined. Standardized actions and one size fits all methods give children limited space. This indeed makes it difficult for some adolescent children to handle. Many children get lost in such contradictions. But positive interpretation also has its advantages, as they have the opportunity to practice and experience how to find a balance between what they don’t want and what they have to do. How to find a balance between not recognizing and adapting to it. This ability is obviously very important. However, forcibly cultivating this ability while neglecting the child’s individuality is detrimental to their development. At critical moments, parents need to help their children ‘climb over the wall’. 04 can help children “climb over the wall”, parents need an important ability – not being bound by rules and stereotypes. Shao Yihui said in the podcast that her mother is a very special person. At many stages of her growth, she played against common sense. When she was in elementary school, her sleep was not very good. Schools often have reception tasks that require children to go to school early for rehearsals. Under her mother’s protection, she can sleep at home for a little longer in the morning. It can be said that her mother is not so ‘obedient’. Shao Yihui’s script is lively and unconventional, and I don’t know if it is related to “disobedience” in family upbringing. Yes, starting from parents, you can be disobedient. Not obedient, but able to grasp the essence. Be able to clearly know what you want and be firm about it. Can clearly distinguish what children need, what they need to fight for, and when to hold up an umbrella for them. Within the larger framework, reduce tedious and detailed framework settings, giving children the opportunity to “take risks”. This is something parents can do for their children. Some rules are bottom lines that cannot be crossed. Some rules don’t need to be too serious, just pass them. Our goal should not be to be kidnapped by rules. Only constrain the behavior of children. Our goal can be: 1. Assist children in understanding the rules. Rules that are understood are better followed. 2. Assist children in improving their judgment of rules. What rigidity and what elasticity. 3. Protecting children’s curiosity, even recklessness, from being constrained by rigid rules that restrict creativity. 4. Assist children in becoming aware of their own behavior. Understand what you are doing. 5. How to protect one’s safety (or interests) in the face of flexible rules. Children with vigorous vitality are not so obedient to their parents. All of these require parents to break through their own framework. Parents also need to learn to ‘take risks’. What have you experienced as being disobedient? Please feel free to leave a comment in the comment section below. 💛   💛   💛 Open my personal WeChat to accompany my child through adolescence