Sorry, children’s fear of difficulties is often praised by your parents

In the process of a child’s growth, there may be a problem that troubles many parents, which is that the child has a fear of difficulties.

For example, if you give your child money and ask them to go to the convenience store to buy things, the child is afraid to go; For example, if you ask your child to actively answer questions in class, the child may not dare, and even if they answer, they will be submissive.

This situation is very common in daily life, where children always say ‘I don’t know how to do it, I can’t do it, I can’t do it.

‘ This difficult emotion of the child makes the parents particularly painful. It’s a very simple thing and there’s no danger involved.

It can be achieved by daring to try, but the child just doesn’t dare to try. Can parents not feel headache when they see such a child.

Why does the child have such a fear of difficulties. Many people may think that it is because their children are insecure, and because of this, they lack confidence and feel that they cannot do it, so they dare not try.

Indeed, there are some children who have a strong sense of inferiority, which can affect their mentality and make them hesitant to try.

But if you observe, you will find that most children with fear of difficulties are not actually insecure, on the contrary, they may still be very confident.

My child is like this, he doesn’t feel inferior at all. He is also very happy and cheerful when playing with his friends, but when encountering some problems, he also shows a fear of difficulties.

For example, when he was asked to learn how to ride a bicycle before, he had already ridden that kind of children’s bicycle when he was young.

That kind of bicycle had two auxiliary wheels, and he rode very smoothly. As long as he removed these two auxiliary wheels, he could easily ride a bicycle.

But the child dared not try, and when asked to try, he would grind and say he couldn’t. There are many children in reality who are usually quite confident, but when they encounter some problems, they often show fear of difficulties.

That usually confident child also shows a fear of difficulties, can’t you say that they are feeling inferior.

Why do these confident children also have fear of difficulties. Actually, this is all praised by parents.

In the eyes of many parents, the fear of difficulties caused by praise is a good thing, because praise can make children happy and also enhance their confidence.

In theory, the more parents praise their children, the more confident they become, and the more they should be willing to challenge themselves when faced with problems.

However, the reality is quite the opposite. The older a child is praised by their parents, the more likely they are to develop fear of difficulties.

Why is that. The truth behind it is actually very simple, because parents’ praise shapes a wrong value standard for their children.

What do parents praise their children for. It is definitely when children succeed and do well. When parents often praise their children, it is easy to shape a wrong value system for them, that is, only when they do well and succeed, they are good children and worthy of praise.

Once children establish such values, they will have a strong desire for success and dislike failure, because they certainly hope to receive praise from their parents.

However, this strong desire for success can easily make children feel intimidated. Why. Because they are too eager for success, correspondingly, they are particularly afraid of failure.

Once they fail, it means they are bad children and will be criticized and denied. Can children accept themselves as such.

So when they encounter things they are not very confident about, based on their fear of failure, they also develop a fear of difficulty.

Simply put, the more eager a child is for success, the more resistant they are to failure. Therefore, when faced with situations that may lead to their failure, children are more likely to show fear of difficulties.

Once you understand the logic behind it, you will know how to solve your child’s fear of difficulties.

It’s very simple, it’s about reshaping their values. Reshaping children’s values requires solving their fear of difficulties, and parents need to help their children reshape their values.

What kind of values should be reshaped. Just don’t judge yourself by success or failure, don’t think that if you fail, you will be looked down upon by others.

Once children establish such values and are no longer afraid of failure, they will dare to try when they encounter problems, and will no longer have the fear of difficulty, because even if they fail, they will not worry about others denying them.

So what are they afraid of. So in order to prevent children from having fear of difficulties, it is necessary for parents to help them rebuild their values and not judge heroes based on success or failure.

But to help children establish such values, parents must first adjust their own values, because only when your parents’ values change, will you influence your child and make their values change prominently.

If you always focus on your child’s success, praising them when they succeed and criticizing and denying them when they fail, then I’m sorry.

Your child’s values will not change, and they will still judge heroes based on success or failure. Naturally, when faced with situations where they may fail, they will continue to develop fear of difficulties.