Why You Should Introduce Your Kid To Club Volleyball (Tips From A Parent Who Was Nervous To Try It)
The Saturday after rec soccer ended, I found my 11-year-old daughter Lila curled up on the couch, orange Cheeto dust crusted on her sweatshirt, scrolling through the same three TikTok sounds for the third hour in a row. When my phone pinged with a text from a mom from Lila’s elementary school asking if she wanted to drop in on a beginner club volleyball practice, I almost said no. I’d heard all the horror stories: parents screaming at refs from the stands, thousands of dollars in gear and travel fees, 12-year-olds burnt out from 10-hour practice weeks. But Lila had complained for two weeks straight that she had nothing to do after school, so I said sure, tossed her an old hoodie, and drove the 15 minutes to the gym on the other side of town.
Lila hung back by the door the whole warm up, crossing her arms when the coach asked her name. I grabbed a folding chair in the parent viewing area, braced for over-the-top competition talk. Instead, most of the other parents were just splitting a bag of donuts, complaining about how their other kid’s piano recital conflicted with next week’s practice. No one was talking about college scholarships or national rankings. When they split into scrimmages, the coach put Lila on a team with a couple other girls who’d never played before, and stopped every couple plays to walk them through where to stand, no eye rolling, no yelling.
After the hour was up, Lila climbed into the car, immediately asked if we could stop for a blue raspberry slushie, and said “Can I go back next week?” I said yes before I even thought about the schedule. That was four months ago, and I’ve been surprised by how much it’s given her that I never expected.
I used to think club volleyball was just for kids who wanted to go pro or get a college scholarship. But for beginners, it’s a totally different experience than the rec leagues I grew up with. Rec soccer for Lila was always the same: coach puts the same kids in forward the whole game, everyone stands around waiting for the ball, the parents bring snacks and that’s it. At club, even the beginner team rotates every position. If someone’s late or hurt, the kids have to figure out who covers what spot on their own, before they call the coach over. Last month, their setter twisted her ankle warming up for a small local tournament, and Lila—who’d only ever played back row up to that point—volunteered to switch. She and the other three girls on the court huddled up for 30 seconds, worked out who would take which serves, and went out and played the whole set without asking an adult for help. That’s the kind of quick problem solving I can’t teach her sitting at the kitchen table doing homework.
It’s also showed up in how she handles mistakes at school. Lila used to crumple up a math test if she missed more than two questions and refuse to show it to me, crying that she was bad at math. Last month, she missed the game-winning hit in the final set of that small tournament, and just brushed off her knees, high fived the other team, and got in the car talking about what snack she wanted after. When I asked her if she was upset about the hit, she said “What’s the point? There’s always the next play.” A week later, she came home with a C on a science quiz, and just laid it on the counter and said “I need to study more for the retake, can you quiz me?” No crying, no crumpling. That’s a skill she picked up on the volleyball court, not in the classroom.
I know a lot of parents hold back because they think it’s too expensive or too much of a commitment, and that’s fair. But there are easy ways to test it out without draining your bank account. The first thing I tell other parents is to start small: don’t sign up for a full year of travel volleyball right off the bat. Most local clubs have 4-week beginner clinics or weekly drop-in sessions that cost $10 to $15 a session, no long commitment required. Just search “beginner club volleyball drop in [your city]” on Google, you’ll find half a dozen options within 20 minutes of most suburban areas. Second, you don’t need all the fancy gear the first time. I almost went out and bought an $80 pair of knee pads and a $60 custom volleyball before the first practice, until the coach told me they have a bin of extra gear kids have outgrown that you can borrow for free. All you need is a pair of sneakers and a water bottle. Third, set your boundaries early. We told Lila upfront that we’d do one practice a week and one tournament a month max for the first season, so it wouldn’t take over every weekend. We still have Sunday afternoons free for lazy movie nights and grocery runs, and I let her sit out a practice once a month if she’s tired or just doesn’t want to go, no guilt attached.
It’s not all perfect. We’ve left two birthday parties early to get to tournaments, and I had to reschedule my own annual checkup twice because I forgot it conflicted with practice. It’s still more expensive than rec, even at the beginner level. And Lila didn’t make the more competitive team that some of her friends made this year, and there was one night she was a little upset about it. But she said she’d rather stay on the beginner team where she gets more playing time anyway, so that’s what we did.
Last week, I stood in the gym parking lot waiting for her to finish practice, watching all the kids pile out of the door, sweaty and loud, arguing over who left their water bottle in the gym. Lila came out with a neon “great hustle” sticker on her water bottle, sharing a pop-tart with her new best friend who she never would have met if she didn’t join the team—she goes to a different middle school, and loves the same weird anime Lila’s obsessed with right now. We still don’t know if she’ll want to do it next season. For now, it’s better than sitting on the couch eating Cheetos all weekend, and that’s good enough for me.
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