Why do parents with inner scarcity fail to educate their children well

The father’s own emotional management directly shapes the psychological foundation of the child. Managing one’s emotions in a healthy manner is not only a responsibility for oneself, but also the most profound investment in a child’s future happiness.

Dad is reading original: Train Station Hey, I’m Koken. Some people say that they are naturally weak in body, sensitive and fragile in mind, and cannot withstand the emotions of their children.

If they are a little tired, they will lose patience, be irritable and quick tempered. Some people also say that their parents are emotionally irritable, and now they are the same.

There is a term in psychology called compulsive repetition, and it is indeed difficult to break this curse.

I can only say that I try my best to avoid such situations from happening, and reflect on myself every time.

I can only say that I am also learning and changing myself while nurturing myself. In the growth path of every child, the most important thing that should not be ignored is our own psychological state.

Our mental health directly affects their parenting style and family atmosphere. When we fail to handle our own emotions well, inner anxiety can easily transform into excessive control and expectations of our children, ultimately becoming a heavy burden on their shoulders.

The way parents handle their own emotions determines the strength of their children’s inner selves, like an invisible armor that accompanies them as they grow up.

Many parents, even though they are adults, do not have the ability to accommodate their children’s negative emotions.

When one’s own child shows negative emotions (such as crying), sometimes they immediately become furious, using both coercion and coercion, trying to suppress these emotions in the first place and nip the seeds in the bud.

I have a distant relative who brought my child to Suzhou for a trip this summer. At the entrance of the park, the child saw some toys that he really wanted, but didn’t buy them for him.

When a child cries because of this, distant relatives impatiently say, “Why are you crying. It’s just a toy.

” This response not only fails to effectively understand and calm the child’s emotions, but may also exacerbate the child’s misunderstanding and frustration with emotional expression.

You and I need to think: why is this happening. Why are some people so intolerant of children’s negative emotions.

I think carefully, there are only two reasons. Firstly, the crying of children makes us feel anxious and helpless.

Unable to recognize the child’s emotions and unable to effectively respond and resolve them, they chose to end the conflict in the simplest and most brutal way possible, using the power of adults to deter them – a heavy beating.

If you are watching short videos on your phone without carefully observing how your child expresses their needs and seeks attention through emotions, then respond in a more emotional way.

The result is like putting out a fire with firewood, and even saying to others that it’s tiring to spend time with my child every day, which is both funny and ridiculous.

Secondly, these parents are usually weak in their hearts and lack sufficient spiritual strength to accommodate, nurture, and nourish their children.

Instead, they need others to nourish themselves more. This not only fails to provide emotional support for children, but also requires them to meet their emotional needs.

Just like another colleague’s family, when a father is under work pressure, he often expects his children or teammates to comfort him, but on the other hand, he rarely cares about his children’s feelings and his wife’s hardships.

Compared to material scarcity, spiritual scarcity is more difficult to cure. Of course, in today’s society, a person with a sound personality is difficult to find even with a lantern in hand.

Let’s talk about some big truths here. Seeking benefits and avoiding harm is the instinct of living beings.

Similarly, we generally hate conflicts and disputes, and yearn for harmony and peace. However, contradictions and conflicts are the most common phenomena in life, and even the driving force behind development.

Since ancient times, development has been inseparable from disputes, and interpersonal relationships are no exception.

This is the natural law of the universe and also the law of spiritual growth. A crucial lesson in parent-child education is emotional education.

You will find that instead of preventing children from venting their emotions, forcefully extinguishing the flames of emotions through threats, yelling, enticement, or deception, it is better to take it calmly and help children accept and deal with their negative emotions in a proper way.

For example, in the face of children’s anger or loss, we can guide them to express the reasons and explore solutions together, rather than simply prohibiting emotional expression.

I believe that as parents, we should not conceal or avoid problems in the parent-child relationship, in order to create a false impression of a harmonious and happy family.

Ask yourself, who can guarantee that we have a perfect and flawless family in our current life. The relationship between people is destined to be constantly changing, diverse, full of conflicts and differences.

Facing reality and accepting change is wiser than denying and suppressing it, although it is also more difficult.

A while ago, a mother asked me: I can’t control my emotions and I want to know how to change it. My answer: Actually, there is no particularly good way.

We can only improve our cognition and master some emotional management methods step by step. Changing ourselves as adults is the most difficult thing.

What I want to say at the end is that as parents, we are not only guides and guardians of our children, but also role models for their emotional growth.

If we cannot handle and express emotions healthily on our own, how can our children learn to be at ease in complex interpersonal relationships, and how can they maintain resilience and balance in the storms of life.

A truly responsible parent should be a solid foundation for their child’s emotional development, rather than an obstacle to their emotional world.

Just as trees require nourishment from soil, children’s emotional growth requires understanding and support from parents.

We should lead by example, bravely face and handle our emotions, so as to teach children to face the ups and downs of life in a healthy way and guide them to establish true inner strength.

Our goal is not only to cultivate children’s learning and skills, but more importantly, to help them become emotionally rich and psychologically healthy adults.

In fact, educating children is about continuous self growth and moving forward together. Being able to read and finish the entire text is itself a cognitive awakening.

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