Educator Jing Shenda once said, “The words and deeds of parents are the best teaching materials for their children, and first-class parents create first-class children.
” However, many parents always believe that they should “participate in the whole process” of their children’s growth and education, and even interfere in everything about their children.
From interest choices to daily trivialities, and even emotional expression, parents often firmly grasp their children’s growth direction under the guise of “I am all for your own good”.
However, in reality, excessive parental intervention may inadvertently stifle children’s independent consciousness and developmental potential.
True education is not about ‘managing too much’, but about ‘letting go cleverly’. The greatest success for parents is learning to be less concerned about the three key things, allowing their children to have greater room for growth.
01 Choosing to be interested in Shaoguan allows children to find a world that truly loves them and is full of curiosity.
They are naturally fond of exploring the unknown, and interest is the key to driving their growth. However, many parents always feel that their children are young and unable to correctly judge their interests.
They will intervene and even directly help their children plan their lives: learning piano, drawing, dancing, programming.
Their children’s schedules are packed with almost no breathing time. Little do they know, parents’ “good intentions” may actually stifle children’s ability to explore independently.
Interest should be the driving force in a child’s heart, but if it becomes a forced task from parents, it will only gradually make the child lose enthusiasm and even develop aversion.
A psychologist once pointed out that children’s interest in a certain field often comes from the process of independent experimentation and experience.
Parents may want to “manage less” on this path and give their children more space and time to explore freely.
When children show a strong interest in something, the role of parents is to encourage and support, rather than control and intervene.
For example, when a child suddenly shows enthusiasm for painting, parents don’t have to rush to send him to a professional training class.
On the contrary, some basic drawing tools can be provided for children to freely express themselves. If he persists and shows sustained love, then consider further guidance.
Even if the child eventually gives up, don’t blame them. This kind of attempt itself cultivates his spirit of independent exploration.
Interest is the best teacher for children. When parents are less concerned about their interests, children are more likely to find the direction they truly love and strive for it.
02 When faced with setbacks, pay less attention and let children learn to solve problems independently.
Difficulties and setbacks are everywhere on the road of life. But in many families, parents are always accustomed to “doing things for themselves”, afraid that their children will suffer some grievances or setbacks.
From small things in life, to difficult academic problems, to interpersonal friction, parents always take action first to clear obstacles for their children.
This excessive protection may seem good for children on the surface, but in reality it deprives them of the opportunity to face challenges and solve problems independently.
Over time, children may become dependent, weak, and even lack confidence. Education expert Li Meijin once said, “Children’s growth requires setback education, not protective education.
” When children encounter difficulties in their growth process, the best way for parents is not to “solve them on their behalf,” but to teach them how to face and overcome problems.
For example, when a child encounters a conflict between classmates at school, parents should not directly intervene, but guide the child to think: how should this matter be handled.
How to communicate with classmates. Even if a child’s solution is not perfect, encouragement and feedback should be given to help them accumulate experience through repeated attempts.
Letting go in the face of setbacks is actually cultivating children’s ability to withstand pressure and think independently.
Only by experiencing difficulties can children grow stronger and wiser. In the future, when parents can no longer be with their children at all times, this ability will become the key to their standing in society.
In many traditional beliefs, children’s emotions are often overlooked by neglecting their emotional expression and teaching them how to interact with others.
Parents are more concerned about their children’s academic performance and behavior, and do not pay enough attention to their inner emotional changes.
Even some parents may use methods such as “endure a little”, “don’t be sentimental”, and “don’t cry” to suppress their children’s need to express emotions.
This approach may seem to control children’s emotions, but in reality it suppresses their ability to express themselves.
Over time, children may become introverted, insecure, and even not know how to establish emotional connections with others.
A child with sound emotions often has a more outgoing personality and better interpersonal relationships.
And the cultivation of this ability cannot be separated from the respect and acceptance of parents. Parents should learn to be less involved in emotional expression, allowing their children to freely express their feelings, whether they are joy or sadness, which should be understood and accepted.
For example, when a child cries due to poor exam results, parents should not rush to stop them, let alone say, ‘Why cry about such a small matter.
‘. On the contrary, one should patiently listen to a child’s emotions and let them know that any emotion is normal and acceptable.
When children are willing to open up, the role of parents is to guide and support, rather than criticize or control.
Such a family environment will make children feel loved and respected, helping them establish healthy ways of emotional expression.
Conclusion: The art of education lies in “moderately letting go” of parents’ responsibilities, not planning a perfect life path for children, but teaching them how to walk their own path.
Learning to “manage less” in choosing interests, facing setbacks, and expressing emotions is not about giving up, but a smarter way of education.
Letting go does not mean not loving, but giving children enough trust and room for growth. When parents learn to let go moderately, children can have more possibilities, the ability to face the world independently, and ultimately become a better and more outstanding version of themselves.
As the saying goes, “Give children enough love and enough freedom. ” This is the greatest success for parents.
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