High expectations. “By Si Minyi. Education is a long and winding road. Every parent hopes that their child can learn consciously, think independently, and become a good child with excellent character and high moral standards.
However, in reality, we often worry about our children’s laziness or rebellion. Every painstaking education effort seems to always encounter setbacks, and every “independent” learning expected to burst like a foam.
I used to have such expectations, but later I realized that expecting children to be conscious is actually a misunderstanding of human nature.
I remember at that time, when I had just become a mother, holding infinite expectations and dreams, looking at my son who was not yet three years old, my heart was filled with longing for the future.
I often fantasize that when he grows up, he will be able to do his homework, arrange his own time, and pursue knowledge on his own.
I thought to myself, since the ultimate goal of education is to cultivate children’s ability to be independent and self reliant, isn’t cultivating good habits of self-discipline from a young age enough to avoid endless control and correction.
So, I started arranging various activities for my son. After school every day, in addition to eating and resting, I require him to complete a certain amount of reading, practice, and thinking.
I often tell him, ‘You have to do these things by yourself, don’t rely on me. ‘ But often he doesn’t finish his homework and exercises on time as I wish.
Even worse, he always procrastinates, wanders, occasionally loses his temper, and even says, ‘Mom, I don’t want to do it.
‘ At that moment, it felt like a huge shock hit my heart. I don’t know what I did wrong. Is it really that hard to educate children like this.
Two. As my child grew up, I tried many ways to stimulate his interest in learning and encourage him to learn actively on his own.
But the reality often disappoints me. Once, I prepared a set of math problems for him to do on his own, but he was actually unwilling to do them.
He didn’t even finish reading the problem before saying, “It’s too difficult, Mom, I can’t do it. ” I suddenly felt angry and began to complain to myself, “Are my expectations too high.
Can’t children really take the initiative to do it. ” I began to feel confused about my relationship with my child and began to doubt whether I should let them do it on their own instead of interfering with them.
By chance, I had a conversation with a friend about these issues. He said to me, ‘Do you think that if children are not conscious, it means failure.
Actually, children are not naturally so conscious. What they need is guidance, not spontaneous effort.
‘ This sentence made me suddenly realize. I suddenly realized that I had been mistaking my child’s “procrastination” and “unconsciousness” as failures, when in fact, this is a natural phenomenon in every child’s growth process.
Humans have never been born with the ability to be fully conscious, especially for a child who is still growing up.
I began to recall my childhood, when I didn’t know how to take the initiative from the beginning. My parents do not simply expect me to be self disciplined, but constantly guide and motivate me, and set an example for me when I don’t know how to be self disciplined.
My mother has a saying that I still remember: “Don’t be afraid of difficulties when doing things, but be afraid of giving up.
” She didn’t ask me to do it perfectly, just hoped that I could make an effort and keep going. And whenever I face failure, the comfort and encouragement from my parents help me regain confidence.
This reminds me of many educational concepts. The essence of education should not be simply imparting knowledge or allowing children to ‘do it themselves’, but should be guidance, companionship, and patience.
When facing children’s unconsciousness, we should understand their growth patterns and help them gradually move from dependence to independence, rather than requiring them to be self disciplined from the beginning.
Every child gradually develops self-discipline through external guidance and assistance. Three. So, I decided to let go of my high expectations for “self-awareness” and change my way of education.
I no longer force my child to complete all tasks on time, but instead use a gradual approach to help him realize the importance and significance of the tasks.
I discussed the study plan with him, set learning goals together every day, and promptly gave him recognition and rewards when he completed them.
When he procrastinates, I no longer rush to scold him, but patiently communicate with him, help him identify the reasons for the delay, and work together to develop a solution.
Once, my son felt a lot of pressure due to too much homework, and even found it difficult to do two questions.
I saw helplessness on his face, and my heart tightened. I immediately stopped my work and walked over to pat his shoulder.
What’s wrong, why are you so unhappy. “I asked gently. He lowered his head and said, ‘I can’t finish these questions, I’m so tired.
‘ I sat down and looked at the homework with him, and found that there were some questions that he had not mastered at all, making it really difficult to do.
So, I whispered, ‘If these questions are difficult, we can do what you know first, and then do the difficult ones.
You decide how to do it. ‘ My son nodded, and we made a small plan together. In the end, he not only completed his homework, but also achieved good results in the exam the next day.
At that moment, I finally realized that true education is not about forcing children to be “conscious”, but about providing them with support and understanding, so that they can learn how to face challenges and make their own decisions in the process of growing up.
This experience completely changed my view on “conscious” education. Children are not born with the ability to be conscious, what they need is a stable, loving, and understanding environment for growth.
As parents, we should not blindly rely on our children to do it themselves, but rather accompany them step by step to help them master self-discipline skills and cultivate their sense of responsibility.
Four. Nowadays, my relationship with my son has become more harmonious. On his path of growth, I no longer insisted on making him fully conscious from the beginning, but helped him understand the meaning of effort, the value of self-discipline, and how to not give up easily when facing difficulties.
Children are not machines or tools, and we should not demand them with adult standards. Instead, we should provide appropriate guidance and encouragement based on their growth patterns.
Looking back, I realize that the most important aspect of this educational journey is not to make children become conscious, but to teach them how to grow in love and move forward in understanding.
As he gradually matured, I also constantly adjusted myself
The way of education. Relying on children’s self-awareness on the path of education is indeed a misunderstanding of human nature.
Education should be a journey of accompanying growth, not a race of self-awareness and responsibility.
We don’t need to be anxious about our children’s’ unconsciousness’, because it is a part of their growth.
What we need to do is to provide them with a clear path, accompanied by love and patience, to complete this journey.
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