I’m Begging You to Take My 2-Minute Sociology Survey (No, It’s Not a Scam)
I’m sitting on the third floor of my campus library right now, the guy who was sitting next to me just left and left half a bag of cold Cheetos on the table that’ve been stinking up my personal space for the last hour. My laptop is at 11% battery, the only open outlet is under the table next to a used gum wrapper, and I’m currently avoiding kneeling on the sticky carpet to get it. So I figured I’d write this out instead of refreshing my survey dashboard for the 17th time today.
For those who don’t know, I’m a third-year undergrad taking Intro to Sociological Research, and our big end-of-semester small project requires us to design our own survey, collect at least 150 responses, and write up a 5-page analysis of the results. It’s 10% of our final grade. If I don’t hit the 150 response mark by Friday at 5pm, my prof knocks 15 points off automatically. That’s enough to drop my current B+ in the class down to a solid B, which isn’t the end of the world, but my parents are paying $40k a year for this, and I don’t feel like explaining to my dad why I blew 15 points on a survey because I was too awkward to beg internet strangers for help.
So here I am, begging. I know how this goes. I’m the same as you: if I see a random Instagram story or a Facebook post from someone asking me to take their school survey, I scroll right past it. Last semester, my roommate’s friend DMed me three times to take her kinesiology survey and I still forgot. I even forgot to take my cousin’s nursing survey last month, and she texted me a picture of her cat and everything to sweeten the deal. So I don’t blame you if you click away right now. I really get it. Everyone’s busy, everyone’s got their own deadlines and their own problems, why would you stop what you’re doing to help a random stranger with homework?
But hear me out. It’s really not that bad. My survey is about college student stress and takeout habits. That’s it. 11 questions total. I tested it three times, it takes 90 seconds if you type fast, two minutes max if you’re reading slowly. I don’t ask for your name, I don’t ask for your email, I don’t ask for your social security number or your credit card info. All responses are completely anonymous. I can’t trace any answer back to you, I don’t even want to. I just need the numbers. The only vaguely personal question I ask is what year you are in school, if you even go here, and that’s just to sort my data. If you haven’t been a college student in 20 years, that’s fine too, I just filter you out, no harm done.
I’ve already tried everything else, I swear. I posted it to my Instagram story three times in the last week. I tagged all my friends, I added a little “pls I’m begging” text over a blurry picture of my textbook. I got 27 responses from that. I asked every person in my 8am lecture, after class ended I stood by the door and asked people as they left, which was so awkward I wanted to disappear through the floor. Half of them nodded and said sure then never opened the link. One girl laughed and said “sorry I don’t do favors for people I don’t know” which, fair, but it stung a little. I asked the barista at the coffee shop I go to every morning, the one who remembers I get an oat milk latte extra hot. She said yeah, sure, so I pulled up the link on my phone and handed it to her, and I watched her scroll right past the link to text her friend while I waited for my drink. Rude, but again, I get it.
I posted it to the big campus meme Facebook group, and the top comment was “is this a phishing scam?” like bro, what am I gonna phish you for? Your preference between fried rice and pad thai? I just want data on takeout, I don’t want your bank account. I thought about spamming the sociology major group chat, but half the people there are seniors panicking about capstones and the other half are freshmen who have no idea who I am, so that just feels weird. Like, random person sliding into your group chat asking for a favor? I’d ignore me too. I even thought about buying responses off some sketchy website, but that’s cheating, and also I’m broke. My last paycheck from the campus bookstore went to a $120 textbook and a new pair of rain boots, because my old ones had a hole in the toe that let water in when I walked to class last week. So I can’t afford that anyway.
Right now I have 52 usable responses. Three extra ones are my grandma, my aunt, and my uncle, who all took it because they love me, even though none of them have been college students since the 1970s. I can’t even count them in my sample, but it was still nice of them. My grandma texted me after “very easy survey, good luck honey!” which made me smile, even if her response is useless for my grade.
I don’t have anything to give you in return, sorry. I wish I had a $50 Amazon gift card to give away to a random respondent, I wish I had branded stickers or coffee coupons or something cool. But I don’t. All I have is the very sincere knowledge that you helped me not lose 15 points on this stupid assignment, and my eternal gratitude. If you want, I can even send you that meme I made last week about the campus vending machine that always steals your money and doesn’t give you your Cheetos. It’s pretty good, I promise.
I should probably go plug my laptop in now, it’s at 7% and I don’t want it to die before I post this. If you’ve got two minutes to spare—while you’re waiting for your pasta to boil, while you’re sitting in the waiting room for a doctor’s appointment, while you’re pretending to listen to a boring work meeting—just click the link. It’s really not that bad. If you don’t, no hard feelings. I really do get it.
[Link to survey here]
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