If you want your child to be both difficult to deal with and popular, it is strongly recommended that every parent teach these 4 sentences

▲ There is a boy at home, click on the card above to follow a child who has established a correct sense of self-worth and right and wrong views, so as not to be easily manipulated by others’ thoughts. Children who dare to say ‘no’ will also have more courage to face difficulties and challenges—— Tiger Mom ♬ Click on the green icon above to listen to the boy faction anchor Yan Jiao’s audio reading. Every question from a child is a good opportunity for scientific enlightenment. Seizing the golden period of curiosity between the ages of 3 and 12 is better than ten thousand big truths. On the morning of December 13th at 9:00, click to make an appointment for the live broadcast room. Tiger Mom x Zebra Encyclopedia pioneered 3D movie level interactive animation with a rigorous encyclopedia learning loop and a progressive knowledge system, allowing children to fully awaken their internal drive from “forced learning” to “active learning” ▽▽▽▽﹏﹏﹏﹏ Author | CC Parents Source | CC Parents (ID: cc bama). A few days ago, the backstage received… A private message: Hello Tiger Mom, I am a freshman in high school. In order to maintain good relationships, I took the initiative to bring breakfast and clean the bathroom for everyone. Half a month has passed, and it seems like everyone assumes that I’m the one doing these things. One time, I didn’t throw away the toilet garbage, but someone in the same dormitory said in a very bad tone, ‘The garbage is full, it should be emptied.’. I angrily said, ‘The toilet is not for me to use alone, whoever loves to pour it down will pour it down.’. As a result, she felt wronged instead, saying that I spoke very bluntly and that I used to do it myself. She asked me what was wrong? Now I have become the nitpicky person in the dormitory. Most of my public account readers are mothers, occasionally fathers, and occasionally a few children. Every time the children leave messages, I read them many times extra, especially when it comes to socializing. Because this is the most difficult place for parents to exert their power. You can spend money to buy a school district house, or buy teachers to pay extra attention to your child, but you just can’t make your classmates like your child and don’t bully them, no matter how rich, powerful, or powerful you are. If children are not taught to defend themselves from the beginning, they will inevitably become passive players in the relationship. No one can guarantee that children will encounter friendly people along the way. If you want your child to become a popular but difficult person to deal with, please make sure to teach them these few words. What does it have to do with you? When being belittled and ridiculed by others: You’ve eaten too much, no wonder you’re so fat? You’re too stupid, you can’t even keep up with running around! Is your family very poor? Why do you still carry your old backpack? Being judged casually by others: taking out the garbage is just a matter of convenience, why are you so stingy. Everyone is in the same dormitory, don’t you need to talk like that? Let’s talk about it this way. It’s not like bullying, but no one feels comfortable listening, even if the other person didn’t mean it. But the speaker has no intention and the listener has a heart. If the logic behind it cannot be bypassed, the child will experience endless internal friction: self proof: I don’t eat much, I’m not stupid, my family is not poor… Reflection: Should I change my backpack? Angry: Why does he say that about me? Hmph! In fact, regardless of whether what the other person is saying is true or not, as long as there is obvious personal bias, what is important for us is not to refute what the other person is saying or try to change ourselves. Because the more you care, the easier it is for the other person to manipulate you. The most important thing is to teach children to improve their perspectives and ways of thinking. What does your own business have to do with TA? So, all you need to do is teach your child to say, ‘What does it have to do with you?’ Because a person’s feelings and opinions are mostly limited to their thoughts, cognitive level, family patterns, personality, and other aspects. We don’t need to explain to others, let alone gain their approval for everything. The same fact can lead to many different opinions from different people. How much power does it give others to change themselves when they suffer from a single word they say. Only in this way can children withdraw from unintentional/intentional verbal attacks from others and become independent thinkers. Your feelings are very important. Parents must remind their children that when a bad relationship arises, there are always some signs. Especially some friends who appear to be close to you on the surface, but intentionally or unintentionally make you self examine your shortcomings, can silently erode your confidence without a single soldier. A friend once shared an example of their daughter: she has a very good friend who often plays with her. That child is also very gentle and not aggressive, and his friends also like him. However, after a while, she found that her usually lively and cheerful daughter had become increasingly insecure and introverted. Always asking, “Mom, am I too dark?”, “Do I look bad in yellow?”, “Does my messy personality make everyone dislike me?” She realized the seriousness of the problem. Upon careful reflection, these self judgments are all related to the child’s friend. Because she has heard the child’s comments on her daughter: “How dare you challenge the yellow color? Don’t wear it in the future.” “Your face is so big, so it’s better to wear a head curtain to make your face smaller.” “Of course you don’t like to listen to others. You have emotional intelligence, so listen to me more later?” When the child’s friends say these words, they are not mean. They think that children are innocent, and they also think that good friends sometimes roast about each other, so they don’t care. She has a carefree personality and thinks that her daughter should not care about her friends’ comments either. Unexpectedly, these ‘unintentional’ belittlements and denials will gradually erode children’s confidence, causing the seeds of self doubt and inferiority to skyrocket in their hearts. So, it is important to tell children that their own feelings are important when interacting with others. Whether or not the other person intentionally made you uncomfortable with their words or hurt you with their behavior, you can speak up. A true friend takes care of your feelings and won’t embarrass you. Even if you are introverted and not good at speaking, you will still consider your feelings. Instead of pinching you just because you’re soft, and bullying you because you won’t refuse. If you express your feelings and the other person still doesn’t back down, it proves that the other person did it intentionally, so why should we care about their feelings? Children can only defend their rights and refuse toxic relationships from the beginning by showing a clear attitude towards behaviors that make them uncomfortable. You always have the right to reject others. China is a human society, and our education from a young age has made it difficult for us to speak up about rejection, which makes it difficult to truly follow our hearts when raising children nowadays. Knowing that the child is very precious to that doll, but being restrained by emotions, I advised the child, ‘Little brother, I just want to play with it, I’ll return it to you later.’. Knowing that children don’t like to play with each other
But in a polite and friendly manner, he still advises, ‘Let’s play with the little sister for a while, otherwise she will be so lonely.’. To be honest, there is indeed a bit of moral blackmail. Isn’t this equivalent to teaching children ‘you have to compromise yourself and take care of others’? This world doesn’t lack an adult who compromises everything! So, rejecting education is very important. Allow children to refuse and respect their refusal. Even if you don’t understand something, you can ask your child first: Why? I don’t want to play with the other person because I want to be alone; I don’t want to say hello because I’m a bit shy; I don’t want to share toys because I haven’t played enough yet. If a child refuses because of “self perception”, it is always worthy of respect and encouragement. Even if the other party is well intentioned, we have the right to refuse when we don’t need it or feel uncomfortable. Kindness is a good thing, but not all goodwill needs to be fully accepted. What we really need to teach children is how to refuse gracefully without harming others. Explicitly and decisively refuse, without the need for silence or ambiguity to replace the answer; Clarify your own needs without excessive explanation or defense. Refusing does not affect the recognition of the other party’s kindness and efforts. For example, thank you for thinking of me, but I don’t want to drink milk tea today; I want to go home early today, so I can’t accompany you on duty. Sometimes sincere rejection can be more comfortable than insincere flattery. As parents, we must make our children understand that self perception is always the first line of defense to protect themselves and a legitimate reason for rejection. You deserve praise without any prerequisite. Now raising a 10-year-old Big Treasure and a 4-year-old Second Treasure, I find that my mindset is really different. When children are young, we always discover their beauty. Even if we throw something or fall, we can boast about it, but as our children grow older, we become more and more utilitarian. Everything is about progress and results. Praising children has become increasingly difficult… It’s not enough to do it, we still need to do it better than before, maybe only then can we get a little bit of praise. How many children spend their entire lives waiting for their parents’ approval? Children who are often denied have low self-esteem, a sense of low value, and a feeling of unworthiness. I feel that only by giving enough can I deserve to have it. Only by doing well enough can one deserve praise. Only by squeezing oneself dry can one enjoy it with peace of mind. Such children are the easiest targets for PUA and are always seeking recognition from others. I’m just too stupid to do anything well; As a terrible person like me, it’s good to have someone play with me. I shouldn’t expect too much respect. It must be because I didn’t do well that others don’t play with me. These unseen children will always be on the socially disadvantaged side and are most likely to become marginalized and bullied members of the collective. Parents want to prevent their children from being easily subjected to PUA and being controlled by others when they grow up, so they should see and praise their children more when they are young, giving them courage, confidence, and love. The best anti PUA education is to let children be themselves and love themselves. Let the child know that he is already good and deserves recognition and praise, without any prerequisite. Only when children establish a correct sense of self-worth and a sense of right and wrong, will they not be easily manipulated by others’ thoughts. I hope every child can become a person with a strong inner strength, capable of independent beauty even if no one appreciates them. Why do mothers who give birth to sons age faster? Scientific evidence shows that boys are difficult to raise! They are mischievous, restless, careless, not willing to learn or listen to adults, and even love to fight… If you also have mischievous boys at home, Tiger Mom sincerely recommends: “A Stable Mother with a Core, a Self disciplined Boy”. It is the book that understands Chinese boy mothers the most. It is a sincere work of the Boy School that has been deeply cultivated for 6 years. Combining the general psychological laws and growth laws of boys, it will take you to interpret the psychological code behind boy behavior and teach you step by step to become a stable mother with a core and raise a self disciplined boy 👇 Click on the card below to immediately purchase and read this book, and become a stress free mom and dad together Advertisement – * Source: CC Parents (ID: cc bama), promoter of the “Chinese Parents Learning Plan”, C Dad – Master’s degree from China Medical University, doctor from a tertiary hospital; C Mom – Editor in Chief of Parenting at a Newspaper, author of ‘Good temperaments lead to good education’, raising CC& DD siblings, lead more parents to join the scientific parenting team, avoid detours together, and become “good parents in China”* Some of the images in this article are sourced from Tuchong Creative. Dear, if our article is helpful to you, please “set us as stars” ★! So you won’t miss the daily push! 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