I noticed a strange phenomenon: if you shout at your child and the child dares to talk back, it means that your family is still saved; If you keep yelling and cursing at your child, and the child remains silent and silent, then your family is hopeless

I don’t know if you have noticed this phenomenon: some children may argue or even talk back to their parents’ yelling, while others remain silent and bow their heads in the same environment.

On the surface, the latter appears well behaved and sensible, while the former is rebellious and disobedient; But in reality, children who dare to talk back are actually more reassuring, while those who are quiet and reserved often make people worry.

Why do you say that. Because children’s reactions not only reflect their personalities, but also reflect the educational atmosphere of the family.

Children who dare to talk back are at least willing to express their true feelings. Many parents see their children’s talk back as rebellious and disrespectful, but talk back is essentially a way for children to express their own wishes.

A child who dares to talk back has trust in their parents. Even if their expression is immature and their words clash, they believe that their voice can be heard by their parents and long to fight for more autonomy through debate.

Psychologist Wu Zhihong once said, “In relationships, emotional flow is more important than anything else.

” If a child dares to talk back, it indicates that emotions are flowing and family relationships are active.

In this situation, as long as parents communicate patiently and guide correctly, their children’s expression ability and independent thinking ability will be exercised, and the parent-child relationship will become closer.

On the contrary, those children who choose to remain silent in the face of shouting may not be sensible, but rather afraid of their parents’ authority or no longer believe in the meaning of communication.

Over time, the child’s inner world will gradually become closed, and the parent-child relationship will also fall into a ‘silent cold war’.

A silent child may have lost trust in their parents. As the saying goes, “Education is built on trust.

If trust is lost, the foundation of education collapses. ” When a child chooses to remain silent, the problem is no longer just whether to talk back or not, but a crisis of trust.

The story of Qiao Yingzi in the TV drama “Little Joy” is a typical case. Qiao Yingzi’s mother, Song Qian, has a strong personality and almost strict requirements for Yingzi’s studies and life.

Every time Yingzi tries to defend herself, she is interrupted by her mother’s words of ‘don’t talk back’.

At first, Yingzi would argue with her mother, but as she was repeatedly denied, she gradually chose to remain silent.

Seemingly obedient, in fact, her heart has closed the door to her mother. In the end, Yingzi suffered from depression due to long-term suppression, and even stood by the bridge trying to commit suicide.

Silence is not obedience, but a manifestation of the inner defense line being destroyed. This apparent ‘quietness’ is the biggest threat to children’s mental health and parent-child relationships.

When children talk back, it is an opportunity for education. In the face of children talking back, many parents’ first reaction is suppression, believing that “parents’ words cannot be refuted” and “children should obey absolutely”.

But this approach will only stifle children’s self-awareness and make them unwilling to express themselves.

Instead of resisting, it’s better to look at it from a different perspective: when children talk back, it indicates that their independent thinking and expression desire are awakening, which is the best opportunity for education.

When a child talks back, parents can try to do this: treat it calmly, don’t rush to deny the child. When a child talks back, it’s often when they are emotionally excited.

What parents need to do is to control their emotions, listen to their child finish speaking, and then respond to specific questions.

For example, if a child complains, ‘Why should I do housework so you can play with your phone. ‘ Parents can patiently explain the importance of housework and reflect on whether they have set a good example, instead of simply saying, ‘Stop talking nonsense and do it quickly.

‘. Behind talking back to children with an equal attitude is that children are trying to gain space for their own positions.

Parents should approach conversations with their children from an equal perspective, listen carefully to their thoughts, and respect their feelings.

A sentence like ‘I understand how you feel, but you can try to think like this. ‘ is more persuasive and easier for children to accept than a simple and rough ‘you must listen’.

Teaching children to express themselves in a better way while talking back can sometimes be a sign of emotional instability, which is not scary.

Parents can guide their children to express their dissatisfaction in a more appropriate way, such as persuading the other party through calm language and reasonable logic, rather than just confronting or colliding.

This not only enhances the child’s communication skills, but also makes the parent-child relationship more harmonious.

Children who dare to express themselves have more opportunities to become confident adults. The essence of education is to cultivate children’s ability to face the world independently.

A child who dares to talk back and express themselves at home is often more likely to stick to their ideas and not be easily influenced in the outside world.

They learned logical thinking, honed their language skills, and understood how to express their stance without harming others through arguments with their parents.

These qualities will enable them to walk more steadily and further on the path of life. On the contrary, children who have been suppressed since childhood and dare not talk back often lack independence and confidence.

When they were young, they surrendered in front of their parents; As they grow up, they may succumb to authority in society and struggle to fight for their rightful rights.

Conclusion: French writer Gide once said, “Loving children is not about making them what you want them to be, but about helping them become themselves.

” Children who dare to talk back indicate that they still have strength and a desire to express themselves in their hearts; And once a child loses the courage to even talk back, family education falls into a crisis of failure.

As parents, we need to accept our children’s emotions, respect their expressions, and accompany them in their growth with wisdom and patience.

Only in this way can family relationships truly be filled with love and trust, and children can grow up healthy and confident in such an environment.

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