How to Introduce Your Kid to Club Volleyball: A Parent’s Firsthand Experience
The drizzle turned my folding chair’s canvas seat soggy by the end of my 11-year-old daughter Lila’s final rec soccer game last spring. She trundled over after the final whistle, yanking one shin guard so hard the Velcro ripped, and dropped it straight in a mud puddle by my feet. “I’m done with this,” she said. “All anyone does is stand in the back and talk about TikTok. I don’t want to come back next season.”
I didn’t argue. We’d spent the whole season dragging her to practice, watching her hang back on the field, so I knew it was time to let soccer go. We had two months of summer to fill, and Lila kept coming home talking about the volleyball games she played at recess every day. She liked that everyone had a specific spot on the court, she said, no one could just hide in the back and check their phone. A week later, we spotted a flyer taped to the library bulletin board for a local youth volleyball club’s new player open house. I’d heard all the horror stories about club sports—thousands of dollars in fees, weekends spent driving four hours to tournaments, coaches screaming at 12-year-olds for missed serves. So I was hesitant. But Lila begged, so I called the number on the flyer.
I expected a sales pitch for a full-season commitment, but the coach, Jen, who used to teach 7th grade PE, just said bring her to the first practice, no pressure, $10 to cover gym cost, that’s it. We showed up on a Tuesday night, the gym smelled like rubber floor and lemon disinfectant, and there were 14 other kids there, most of them also trying volleyball for the first time. Lila was the second shortest in the group, had never played anything but recess pick-up, and could barely get the ball to travel more than three feet. I sat in the stands next to another mom whose son had just quit baseball, and we commiserated about how hard it is to find a sport your kid actually wants to show up for.
After three practices, Lila said she wanted to sign up for the fall entry-level team. That’s when I started learning all the small, practical things no one tells you about introducing a kid to club volleyball. I was all set to run to the sporting goods store and buy a new volleyball, fancy kneepads, and special court shoes, but Jen stopped me. She said borrow the club’s extra gear for the first month, and if she sticks with it, you can buy new stuff then. We ended up getting hand-me-down kneepads from another mom on the team for $5, and a used volleyball that’s still in perfect shape. That saved me almost $150 I would have wasted if Lila had quit after a month.
Lila has always been the kid who avoids group work at school. If she’s put in a group where someone isn’t pulling their weight, she just does all the work herself instead of saying anything, because she hates conflict and talking to people she doesn’t know well. After a month of club volleyball, I noticed a quiet change. One night at dinner, she was talking about a scrimmage drill where their team kept losing points because one of the new girls couldn’t reach passes thrown to the back row. Instead of just complaining that the girl was messing everything up, Lila said “We all talked after practice and decided we’d shift positions so she was closer to the setter. That way she doesn’t have to run as far, and she’s gotten way better this week.” I almost dropped my fork. That’s the kind of collaborative problem solving she’d never done before. She didn’t just take over to get it done right—she talked it out with the whole team and adjusted to make everyone stronger.
It’s not all perfect, of course. We’ve had to leave two family birthday dinners early to get to practice on time. The $75 monthly fee plus occasional tournament entry costs adds up, even for the entry-level team, so we cut back our weekly takeout night to every other week to cover it. Last month, Lila came home crying from her first inter-team scrimmage. She missed the final serve that would have won their game, and a couple of kids on the other team cheered. I didn’t give her a big speech about grit or trying harder, I just got her a mint chocolate chip cone on the way home and let her vent. The next practice, Jen pulled the whole group aside and talked about how you never celebrate when the other team messes up, even if it wins you the point. That’s the kind of lesson you can’t teach at a dinner table—it just sticks when you’re all in it together.
When other parents ask me how to get their kid started in club volleyball, I give them four simple pieces of advice that came straight from our experience. First, don’t go for the top competitive travel club first. Almost every area has entry-level rec club teams that only play local scrimmages, no out-of-state travel, and way lower fees. Second, always ask for a trial period. Don’t sign a full-season contract upfront. Most good clubs will let you come to 2-3 practices for a small fee to see if your kid actually likes it before you commit. Third, don’t buy all new gear right away. Ask the club or other parents if you can borrow or buy used gear for the first few months. Fourth, if your kid is shy, email the coach ahead of time and ask them to pair your kid with an outgoing returning player for the first week. I did that, and the girl Lila was paired with still sits with her on the bench at scrimmages now.
We’re halfway through our first season now. Lila still can’t serve overhand consistently, she complains every Friday night about having to wake up an hour early on Saturday for scrimmages, and she still forgets her water bottle half the time. I don’t know if she’ll stick with it next year, or if she’ll quit and move on to something else like she did with soccer and art class and piano. But right now, it’s working. She comes home tired and happy, she’s learned how to talk through problems with a group instead of shutting down or doing everything herself, and she has a whole new group of friends she wouldn’t have met otherwise. That’s enough for me, for now.
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