Frustration Education: Supplementing Children’s Strength with Calcium

Xie Feng only needs 8 minutes to finish reading in 3 minutes. 1. Frustration education is an indispensable growth nutrient in the long road of family education.

Frustration education is undoubtedly an indispensable growth nutrient, which has multiple important meanings for children’s growth.

Firstly, setback education can enhance children’s psychological resilience. Life is like a journey full of unknowns, and children will always encounter various challenges and setbacks.

When they have good psychological resilience, they can maintain a calm and optimistic attitude in the face of setbacks, and will not be easily defeated by difficulties.

Instead, they can better cope with various difficulties and obstacles in life, and face the wind and rain with a strong heart.

Secondly, setback education helps to stimulate children’s potential. Everyone’s body seems to contain a mysterious power, and setbacks are often the key to unlocking the door to potential.

When children encounter setbacks, in order to overcome difficulties, they will unconsciously tap into their inner motivation and strive harder to pursue their goals.

In this process, children will constantly break through themselves, realize their self-worth, and discover a better and more capable version of themselves.

Furthermore, cultivating children’s independence is also of great significance in setback education. During the process of experiencing setbacks, children often need to rely on themselves to think independently and explore solutions to problems, rather than relying solely on others.

Every experience of independently solving problems is an exercise in their autonomy, allowing them to gradually grow into individuals who can stand on their own.

After leaving the protection of their parents in the future, they can also rely on their own strength to establish themselves in society and carve out their own world.

So, parents must deeply recognize the crucial impact of setback education on their children’s growth path, integrate it into daily family education, and help their children grow up strong.

2. Common misconceptions, do you “step on the thunder”. 2. 1 Overprotection type In family education, many parents belong to the overprotection type.

They are always unwilling to let their children experience any setbacks, as if they want to shield their children from wind and rain, blocking all potential difficulties from their children’s world.

For example, if a child accidentally falls, instead of guiding them to walk more carefully next time, parents may kick and stomp on the ground, curse loudly, and shift all responsibility onto the uneven surface; When children play around, parents often educate each other’s children indiscriminately; When children grow up and enter society, parents will continue to use their savings to meet their children’s demands and help them shirk various responsibilities.

The starting point of parents may be their deep love for their children, fearing that they will be hurt, but such excessive protection is actually hindering the cultivation of their children’s ability to face difficulties.

Children who are exposed to such an environment for a long time will gradually lose their independence, find it difficult to understand the importance of responsibility, and may even experience psychological distortions.

For example, some children may be “restless” at home, but they are cautious and afraid to express their thoughts when they are outside.

This is because their parents are overprotective and have become accustomed to their children throwing tantrums at home; Some children are protected too well, with everything arranged by their parents and little opportunity to make friends on their own.

They live in a closed environment for a long time, leading to a lack of communication skills and becoming cautious about interpersonal communication after entering society; Moreover, some have become accustomed to living under the protection of their parents, lacking the spirit and courage to take risks, and gradually settling for the status quo.

As they grow up, they become “gnawing elders” and lack the ability to live independently. Children’s abilities need to be improved through exercise.

If parents always do not give children the opportunity to participate and handle things, children are prone to fear and lack confidence when facing setbacks in the future.

So, parents should learn to let go appropriately and let their children experience some setbacks, which will help their growth.

2. 2 Strike Education Type: Some parents mistakenly interpret setback education as strike education, often using various methods to strike their children, thinking that this can make them stronger and more motivated, but in reality, it brings great mental pressure and negative effects to their children.

For example, some parents like to compare their own children with other children, always praising others’ children and belittling their own children.

Even if their children do things right and well, they still have to pick flaws from them, such as saying “Look at other children’s children, they are all better than you”; Some parents, when their children fail to achieve the expected results in exams, instead of patiently helping to analyze the reasons, they harshly criticize and even curse at them, saying things that hurt their children’s self-esteem, such as “You’re too stupid, aren’t you as good at studying as others, and you’re shy when you go out to buy something.

What’s the use of you. Ah. You’re stupid and useless in the future. Children who are subjected to such a harsh education for a long time will suffer serious damage to their self-confidence, gradually thinking that they are very poor, and losing interest in life and learning, and even giving up and falling into self degradation.

They are also prone to becoming insecure, anxious about gains and losses, afraid that their parents and people around them will not like them because of their lack of effort, thus forming a pleasing personality.

In terms of personality, most of these children are sensitive and insecure, do not love, do not know, and dare not communicate with others.

They are very afraid of making mistakes and feel deeply guilty every time they make mistakes. They care too much about others’ evaluations and opinions, and a single word from others may make them think for a long time and unable to swallow.

More seriously, children may fall into a state of “learned helplessness” due to long-term exposure to such setbacks, fear failure, and try their best to avoid doing things that may fail, becoming negative, depressed, anxious, and even self destructive.

It can be seen that cracking down on education is by no means a true setback education. Parents must avoid falling into such a misconception and adopt the correct way to guide their children to face setbacks, so that setbacks can become a help for their growth, rather than a hindrance.

3. The correct way to open up and help children become strong 3. 1 Establishing a correct view of setbacks In family education, parents should first help their children establish a correct view of setbacks.

To make children understand that setbacks are an inevitable part of the growth process, they do not necessarily mean failure, but an excellent opportunity for growth.

Just as it is inevitable to fall while walking, we also encounter various obstacles in life, which are all normal phenomena.

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When a child fails in an exam, parents can tell them, “Baby, it’s okay if you didn’t do well this time.

This is just a small test, reminding you of what knowledge you haven’t mastered yet, so that you can check and make up for your shortcomings, and you can do better next time.

” Guide children to learn from setbacks, analyze the reasons for not doing well, whether it’s because they haven’t reviewed carefully enough or because their problem-solving methods are incorrect, and so on.

Let children know that every setback is an opportunity for learning. As long as they can summarize their experiences, they can become stronger.

This way, they can face various setbacks in life with a positive attitude and use setbacks as stepping stones for growth.

3. 2 Creating Frustration Scenarios In daily life, parents can intentionally set tasks of moderate difficulty based on their children’s actual situation, allowing them to encounter setbacks in the process of completing tasks, and then learn to adjust their mentality and cultivate resilience.

For example, if a child usually relies on their parents to help organize their backpack, parents can try to let the child organize it themselves.

At the beginning, the child may be flustered, either forgetting to bring their textbooks or not packing all the stationery.

At this time, parents should not rush to help, but encourage the child to think of ways to organize quickly and well, such as teaching the child to pack books in order according to the curriculum, putting stationery in a fixed small bag, and so on.

Or take your child to participate in some challenging outdoor activities, such as mountain climbing. For younger children, climbing to the top of the mountain may be very tiring and hard, and they may want to give up multiple times along the way.

However, parents encourage and guide their children step by step, allowing them to persevere step by step.

In the process of overcoming difficulties, children not only exercise their physical strength, but also hone their willpower, knowing that they cannot easily retreat in the face of difficulties, but should actively respond and adjust their mentality to continue moving forward.

3. 3 Providing appropriate support: When children face setbacks, it is very important for parents to show care, analyze problems together with children to find the reasons, and guide them to solve problems through supportive behaviors.

For example, if a child does not win a painting competition at school and feels sad, parents should first give the child a warm hug, patiently listen to the child’s grievances and losses, and let the child know that they are understood and cared for.

Then take a look at the competition work with the child and analyze whether the composition is not innovative enough, the color matching is not coordinated enough, or there is a lack of creativity, etc.

For example, when a child is building a building block castle with friends, the castle always collapses and the child is very frustrated.

At this time, parents can sit down and observe with the child, guiding the child to think about whether the foundation is not stable or which block is placed in the wrong position.

They can help the child find the problem together and encourage the child to try again. They tell the child that as long as they find the problem and solve it, they will definitely succeed, allowing them to feel the power from the family, have the courage to face setbacks, and continue to work hard.

Encouraging children to think independently and solve problems independently is of great significance for cultivating their independence and resilience.

During this process, parents should provide appropriate guidance without excessive intervention. Just like when a child encounters a difficult problem while doing math homework, parents should not directly tell the child the answer.

Instead, they can ask the child a heuristic question: “Baby, look at which problem we have solved before, you can try to think about it from that perspective.

” Guide the child to recall the knowledge points and find a solution on their own. For example, if a child has a conflict with a friend, parents should not rush to help the child resolve it.

Instead, they should first ask the child how they plan to handle it, listen to their thoughts, and even if the child’s thoughts are not very mature, follow the child’s thinking and help them analyze the possible results of doing so.

This will guide the child to think of better solutions and help them gradually learn to independently deal with problems and exercise their problem-solving abilities in practice.

This way, when encountering similar setbacks again, the child can rely on their own wisdom to resolve them.

Regardless of how well the child completes their tasks, parents should acknowledge their efforts and progress, and make the child understand that the effort put in during the process is also a part of success.

For example, if a child tries hard to practice skipping rope, even though the number of skipping ropes in the last minute did not reach their expected goal, they have made great progress compared to before.

Parents should praise the child in a timely manner: “Baby, you have been practicing skipping rope so hard these days.

Look, you have jumped much more now than before. As long as you continue to practice, you will definitely be able to jump faster and better.

” For example, if a child prepares for a speech competition with great effort, but ultimately does not win a place, parents should also recognize the efforts made by the child in the preparation process, such as carefully writing the speech, repeatedly practicing pronunciation and tone, etc, Say to your child, ‘Your efforts in giving this speech are well received by both your parents.

It’s already great that you bravely stood up and gave the speech. You’ve gained experience this time, and you’ll definitely perform even better next time.

‘ Through this affirmation, let your child know that hard work is valuable, even if the outcome is not ideal.

The effort put in during the process is also worthy of recognition, inspiring them not to be discouraged in the face of setbacks and to continue to move forward bravely.

4. Role Models for Parents: The Power of Words and Actions. As the most important role models for children’s growth, the power of words and actions should not be underestimated.

In setback education, it is of great significance for parents to share their experiences and feelings when facing setbacks.

Parents can find the right time to honestly talk to their children about the various setbacks they have encountered in the past.

For example, a father can tell his child, “When I first started working, I had a very important project to be responsible for.

At the beginning, I encountered a lot of difficulties, such as constantly collecting incorrect data and constantly changing customer requirements.

At that time, I couldn’t help feeling depressed and under a lot of pressure. But I knew that avoiding the problem couldn’t solve it, so I calmed down and kept looking for solutions.

I consulted experienced colleagues, researched a lot of information, and after unremitting efforts, the project was finally completed successfully.

” A mother can also share setbacks in life, such as “Once I planned to make a new dish, full of hope to do it well, but the result was not satisfactory.

Be careful not to burn the dishes, I was quite upset at the time, but I thought it wasn’t a big deal, so I smiled and said to myself, ‘This time.

‘
It’s okay if it’s not done well, it’s a good opportunity to summarize our experience. We will definitely be able to make delicious dishes next time, and when we make them again later, we will succeed Through these real stories that happen to themselves, children can intuitively realize that setbacks are something that everyone will encounter, not something terrible or difficult to overcome.

Moreover, parents should emphasize to their children the positive impact of setbacks, telling them that setbacks are actually good opportunities for growth, just like how they have learned a lot of new knowledge and skills in the process of overcoming those setbacks, their inner strength has become stronger, and their ability to handle problems has also improved significantly.

When children encounter setbacks in the future, they are more likely to recall their parents’ attitudes and actions in the face of setbacks, and are inspired to respond with a positive and optimistic attitude.

They learn to analyze problems and find solutions like parents, gradually cultivating their courage and ability to face setbacks.