Education is about facing up to conflicts with children

Click on the blue text above to follow us. Some adults often say, “My child fights with me every day, and for some unknown reason, he doesn’t listen to adults.

” Sometimes adults say this with a hint of helplessness, as if they can’t come up with a way to deal with it.

Sometimes, there is a hint of pride in the expression, as if arguing with children is also a pleasure.

Anyway, conflicts between adults and children are inevitable. Due to factors such as age, knowledge, and an adult’s desire for control.

Since it is inevitable, we may as well face it and take it seriously. Understanding and acceptance. The child is growing up day by day, and their self-awareness is constantly awakening.

They begin to have their own ideas and want to do things independently, which is an inevitable stage of growth.

For example, a child may refuse the clothes we choose for them and insist on matching them themselves, even if they look a bit strange.

At this point, parents should not rush to criticize, but rather understand and accept their child’s behavior.

Because they are declaring to the world, ‘I have grown up and I have my own ideas. ‘. Accepting a child’s emotions and behaviors is like laying a solid foundation for a parent-child relationship, and it is our primary task in dealing with conflicts.

Three communication and listening. Communication and listening are the golden keys for us to enter the inner world of children.

When children have different opinions from us, it’s better to put aside what’s in your hands and patiently listen to their voices.

Just like a child who doesn’t want to go to a tutoring class, perhaps it’s because of the recent high academic pressure or unhappy things happening in the tutoring class.

Only by truly listening can we find the root of the problem and better solve it. From the perspective of children, think about it and feel their joys, sorrows, and happiness.

This way, the trust between us and children will gradually grow stronger like a sapling. Four role transitions.

Children have different needs for their parents at different stages of growth, so the role of parents also needs to be flexibly changed.

When children are young, we are the “authorities” who need to ensure their safety and basic behavioral norms; When children start primary school, we have to be like “teachers” patiently answering their questions and teaching them common sense and principles of life; In adolescence, children crave more autonomy, and we need to become “coaches” to provide guidance and encouragement on the side, rather than doing everything ourselves.

Proper role transitions can reduce friction between parents and children, and make relationships more harmonious.

The child has grown up and is still treated like a three-year-old child, with unchanged roles, which leads to the child not listening.

This needs to be reflected upon. Respect and independence. Respect children’s independence and give them a free sky.

Children who want to try new things, such as learning to cook, even if they may make a mess in the kitchen, we need to provide support.

Only by allowing children to make their own decisions within an appropriate range can they learn how to make choices and bear the consequences through exploration.

Excessive interference will only make children hesitate and lose the courage to grow. Six, stay calm.

When conflicts arise, parents must remain calm. Emotional excitement will only make things worse, like adding fuel to a fire.

Only by calming down can we rationally analyze the essence of the conflict, see if it is the rebellious psychology of the child or if our own educational methods need to be adjusted.

Only by identifying the key to the problem can we find a solution that satisfies both parties. Seven ways to avoid reconciling old accounts.

Don’t dig up old accounts, things get sorted out one by one. Always mentioning a child’s past mistakes is like constantly uncovering their scars, which can make the child feel aggrieved and annoyed, and is not conducive to solving current problems.

We need to focus on the current conflict, discuss solutions with children, and make them feel like they are part of the solution, not the object of blame.

Establish consensus. Establishing consensus through equal consultation is also a good method. For example, playing role-playing games, making children become “parents” for a day, arranging family activities, and they can experience the hardships and responsibilities of parents.

For example, allowing children to participate in family meetings, express their opinions, provide suggestions, and find solutions.

Parents can also better understand their children’s needs and thoughts from their arrangements. In her books “The Awakening of Parents” and “The Awakening of the Family,” Jiusha Fali Sabari discusses “conflict” and specifically introduces it in chapters.

It can be seen that conflicts between adults and children are inevitable on the path of education. But as long as we face the conflicts with our children and resolve them with understanding, communication, respect, and love, we can accompany them to grow up healthy and happy.

Learning to grow in conflict and gaining family affection through collision is true education. Let’s work together and write a warm chapter between parents and children while facing conflicts.

END’s previous recommended education is to strive to improve grades in the last two weeks of the final semester.

Education is to strengthen experiential learning and activate situational memory. Do not expect children to achieve great success, but hope they are good at learning.

Education is to make memory a powerful tool to improve academic performance. When the final semester is over, encourage children to study hard and prepare for exams.