Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What Worked For My Family
Last month, we were at our neighborhood playground, my 5-year-old Lila was chasing a fluffy dandelion that kept bouncing away from her, when she stopped dead mid-run, turned to me, and asked loud enough that the woman she was looking at turned around, “Why is her skin darker than mine?”
I felt that hot flush of embarrassment creep up my neck, which is silly, I know—Lila wasn’t being mean, she was just curious. But in that second, I realized I hadn’t actually prepared for this. I believed in talking to kids about anti-racism early, but when I actually needed to answer the question, I fumbled through a quick “It’s just how people are made, all skin is good!” and herded Lila back to the slide. That night after she went to bed, I pulled my laptop onto the couch, ate a cold leftover chicken nugget I found in her lunchbox, and started searching for anti-racism resources that actually fit a 5-year-old.
Half the results were for middle schoolers, talking about systems and history that would go right over Lila’s concrete little brain. The other half were fluffy lists of books that just said “everyone is welcome” and never actually named that people look different, which felt like the “don’t see color” line that I know doesn’t help kids. I checked out three books from the library that first week that were way too heavy—one opened with a story about segregation that left Lila asking “Why did they not let the kid go to the park?” for two hours before bed, and she woke up crying that night scared someone would not let me go to the grocery store. That’s when I realized I was looking for the wrong thing. Anti-racism for a 5-year-old doesn’t mean teaching them the full scope of injustice. It means giving them simple, concrete tools to notice difference, treat people fairly, and speak up when someone is left out. That’s it, for right now.
The first good resources I found were short, simple books that meet 5-year-olds where they are. The Skin You Live In is only 12 pages, uses comparisons kids actually get: it compares skin tones to different shades of peanut butter, sugar cookies, and cream. Lila loves going through it and pointing out which shade matches her arm, which matches mine, which matches her best friend Mia who was adopted from Korea. It doesn’t have a big sad story, it just says all skin is good, and we get to do the same fun things no matter what we look like. Another one I reach for again and again is Last Stop on Market Street. It’s about a boy riding the bus with his grandma, and he notices all the different people in their neighborhood, and ends with helping at a soup kitchen. It never preaches, it just shows a Black family loving their community, and that’s more than enough for a 5-year-old. I also tried Antiracist Baby, and Lila thinks it’s hilarious—she runs around the house yelling “KEEP TALKING!” which is actually a pretty good mantra, honestly.
Resources don’t have to be books, though. The most useful activity I found costs less than $2. A mom from my playgroup told me about mixing custom skin tone paint, so I grabbed a cheap pack of tempera from the dollar store, got out red, yellow, brown, and white, and we mixed until we got something that matched each of our arms. Lila painted all our portraits, and now they’re taped to the fridge. It’s such a simple thing, but it let her talk about difference in a hands-on way, instead of just hearing me talk about it. Her preschool did the same activity during friendship week, and all the kids ran around comparing their swatches to each other, no awkwardness, no weirdness.
I also learned that everyday moments are the best free resource you can get. I used to shush Lila when she asked about someone’s difference, because I was scared I’d embarrass them. But that’s the wrong move. Shushing tells kids that difference is something bad, something you don’t talk about. Now, I just answer simply, quiet enough that the other person can hear if they want, but open. When she asked why the little boy at the grocery store was speaking Spanish, I said “Some people learn a different language when they’re little, that means he knows how to say more words than we do. That’s such a cool skill!” When she asked why a man at the park had differently shaped eyes than her, I said “People’s faces look different all over the world, just like how your nose is smaller than mine. Everyone’s face is just right for them.” That’s all she needs—she doesn’t want a lecture, she just wants an answer to her question.
For low-effort screen time, we’ve found good stuff too. Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood has an episode where a new Black kid joins the neighborhood, and Daniel just wants to play with him. That’s it—no big drama, no speech about racism, just two kids playing together. Sesame Street has 2-minute clips where they talk about different skin tones and different kinds of families, and those are perfect for winding down before dinner.
I still don’t get it right all the time. Last week, Lila and I walked past a homeless man who is Black, and I pulled her a little closer to me without thinking, and I caught myself. I had to stop, talk to her about it later, and admit I’d done something wrong. It’s messy, and I don’t always have the right words. I’m still looking for new things, too—next week we’re going to a kids’ story hour at the local Black-owned bookstore that features Black children’s authors, and I don’t know how it’ll go, but I figure trying is better than not trying. The biggest thing I learned is that you don’t need a fancy curriculum or expensive books to build good habits early. You just need to be willing to answer their questions honestly, start small, and mess up along the way.
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