Will My Teen Get Bullied For Their Custom Senior Backpack? What Parents Need to Know
Last Monday, I was folding fitted sheets in the living room when my oldest, Liam, who’s starting his senior year of high school, leaned in the doorway holding his phone. He wasn’t smiling, which was odd—he’d been talking about ordering this backpack for three weeks, saved up $45 from bagging groceries on weekends to get it custom printed. “Mom,” he said, picking at a loose thread on his gray cross country hoodie, “do you think I’ll get bullied if I bring this to school?” I paused, a crumpled sheet in my hand, and asked what made him ask. He turned the phone around to show me a TikTok thread: a group of juniors posting clips of custom senior backpacks, calling anyone who bought one “a cringey tryhard who peaked in high school.”
I remembered when he was a freshman, he got teased for his hand-me-down North Face that was two sizes too big, so he started carrying his books in a plastic grocery bag for a month in October, even when it rained. I knew his worry wasn’t about a piece of fabric—it was about that old, familiar fear of standing out in the wrong way, when you’ve spent three years climbing the school social ladder and don’t want to trip at the finish line. I didn’t say “it’s just a backpack, who cares” — I know that’s the last thing a kid wants to hear when they’re twisted up about something. Instead I said, “It shows up in three days, right? When it gets here, we can try it out before you bring it to the first day. Sound good?” He nodded and went back to his room.
It showed up on Thursday, on one of those thick, humid late August afternoons where the grass still smells cut from that morning. He opened it on the driveway, the plastic packaging crinkling loud enough to make our neighbor’s dog bark. The backpack was exactly what he ordered: oversized canvas, our school’s wildcat mascot front and center, big white “Class of 2024” across the bottom, and a tiny print of a donut in the corner—an inside joke from when his cross country team snuck a dozen donuts into a regional meet last spring. He held it up, grinning for two seconds, then the grin faded. “Should I just return it?” he said. I said “Put it on. Let’s walk down to the park and get a soda from the gas station. We’ll see how it feels.”
We walked, him with the backpack slung over both shoulders, me carrying my beat-up purse. We passed the middle school bus stop, where a group of 7th graders were waiting, scrolling on their phones. One of them looked up, nodded at the backpack, and yelled “Nice print!” before turning back to his friend. No snickering, no eye rolls, just a random kid giving a compliment. When we got to Javi’s house—Javi’s his best friend, also a senior—he was out working on his old pickup truck in the driveway. He looked up at the backpack and said “Dude, that’s way better than mine. I got mine printed with a blurry pic of Coach’s terrible mustache, my mom made me blur it so much you can’t even tell what it is.” That took a lot of the edge off. Liam ended up leaving the backpack at Javi’s that night when we went for ice cream, so he wouldn’t sit around overthinking it for the next three days.
I’ve talked to other parents of seniors lately, and a lot of us have had this exact same conversation. Custom senior everything—backpacks, hoodies, water bottles—is big right now, and so is the TikTok trend of making fun of seniors for buying them. What I’ve noticed is that the fear of bullying is almost always bigger than the actual bullying. Underclassmen aren’t sitting around judging every senior’s backpack. They’re too busy worrying if their own new shoes are cool, if they’ll find their first period class, if the upperclassmen will make fun of them. The worry comes from our teens remembering what it was like to be underclassmen, when seniors seemed huge and untouchable, and making fun of their stuff was a cheap way to feel cool. Now that they’re the seniors, they assume everyone’s doing the same to them.
What works, from what I’ve tried, isn’t dismissing the fear. If your kid comes to you worried about this, instead of saying “it doesn’t matter,” try saying “It makes sense to worry about that—everyone’s watching seniors this time of year, right?” That just validates how they feel instead of making them shut down and stop talking about it. Second, test it out low-stakes first. Don’t make them wear it for the first time on the first day of school when everything is already chaotic. Let them wear it to practice, to a friend’s house, to run errands with you first, so they get used to the attention (or total lack thereof). Third, if they do get a rude comment, give them a low-effort line to use that doesn’t require a fight. Something like “Yeah, I like it” or even just a shrug. Most of the time, the kid making the comment is looking for a reaction, and if you don’t give it, the interaction is over in 10 seconds.
First day of school was last Tuesday. I dropped Liam off at the front entrance, he slung the senior backpack over his shoulder, hesitated for two seconds, then got out of the car. When he got home that afternoon, I asked how it went. He tossed the backpack on the kitchen counter and grabbed a Gatorade from the fridge. Three people asked where he got it, one junior rolled his eyes when they passed him in the hallway, that was it. No bullying, no big scene. He said he’s gonna switch back to his old, coffee-stained backpack for cross country practice next week, because it fits his 32-oz water bottle better, but he’s keeping the custom one for regular school days.
It’s not a big deal, in the end. But I’m glad we didn’t brush his worry off before it got there. Some of the silliest, smallest things are the scariest when you’re 17, and a little slow, low-pressure testing goes a lot further than any pep talk I could give. I don’t know what next week or next semester will bring, but for now, that backpack’s hanging by the front door, and he’s still excited to carry it. That’s enough for right now.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Will My Teen Get Bullied For Their Custom Senior Backpack