Why is the second one always smarter than the first one? The truth is heart wrenching

As parents, I often hear such sentiments: “The second child in the family is really smart and clever, always able to find solutions to problems in critical moments, but the eldest child often needs more guidance.

” “The younger sister can always adapt quickly to new environments and chat happily with strangers, but the older brother is always shy and doesn’t dare to show himself.

” “The younger brother is always calm when faced with difficulties, while the older sister starts to feel anxious when faced with problems.

” These words often slip out of the mouths of parents with a second child, and many parents may involuntarily exclaim, “Is the second child smarter than the eldest child.

” However, is this really the case. Why do we always think that the second child is smarter and more intelligent than the first child.

In fact, the reason behind this may not solely lie in intelligence itself, but rather be influenced by various factors such as family roles, educational methods, and upbringing environments.

Next, let’s explore the truth behind this phenomenon together. 1. “Intellectual Dilution Hypothesis”: Although we often lament that “the second child is smarter”, psychological research shows that the eldest son actually has certain intellectual advantages in certain aspects.

The “Intelligence Dilution Hypothesis” proposed by psychologist Robert Zarontz suggests that the later born children in a family may find it harder to access the same resources and cognitive stimuli as the eldest son.

Simply put, the first child in a family usually receives more attention and educational resources, while with the birth of the second child, parents’ energy is dispersed, and children born later may not receive the same level of support as their eldest son in the early stages.

Research has shown that the intelligence scores of eldest sons are generally higher than those of later born children.

For example, psychologist Peter Kristensen’s research found that the average IQ of the eldest child is about 3 points higher than that of the second child.

This does not mean that the eldest son has a higher IQ, but rather that the first child is often the “first choice” for parents’ educational resources, while later children need to grow up in more complex environments.

2. Observational learning: How the second child becomes smarter by “picking up experience points”. Although the eldest son may have some intellectual advantages, the second child has unique environmental advantages, which make them appear smarter and more intelligent in certain aspects.

The second child has been living in an environment with the eldest child since birth, possessing the natural condition of “observation and learning”.

The leader is responsible for the “first charge”, while the second can pick up experience points on the side.

For example, when riding a bicycle in an old university, one may fall several times, and parents will worry while constantly encouraging.

And the second child can observe from the side, see how the eldest overcomes challenges, what the parents expect, and even notice the parents’ reactions and how to comfort them when the eldest falls.

In this way, the second child tends to be more confident when learning to ride a bike and may avoid some of the setbacks that the first child has encountered before.

This method of “picking up experience points” often allows the second child to respond more flexibly and intelligently when facing various problems.

They can learn methods and skills from their older siblings’ experiences, and even surpass the boss to find their own path.

3. Accumulation of parental experience: Education is more flexible. When the eldest child is born, parents often have little knowledge about parenting and everything is full of unknowns, so the education methods are more cautious and strict.

However, with the arrival of the second child, the parents’ experience gradually enriched, and they became more adept at dealing with their children’s educational issues.

Many times, parents have a more relaxed and flexible attitude towards the second child than towards the first child, which invisibly creates a more relaxed environment for the second child’s growth.

For example, when the eldest child falls ill for the first time, parents may feel extremely anxious because they do not know how to handle it, while when the second child falls ill, parents may appear more calm and decisive, knowing which symptoms need special attention and which ones do not need to be worried temporarily.

This kind of parental ‘proficiency’ can provide a more optimized growth environment for the second child, allowing them to learn how to handle various problems in a more autonomous environment and cultivate stronger independent thinking ability.

4. “Role Exchange” between siblings: The eldest is a “teacher”, the second is an “apprentice”, and the eldest son often takes on the role of a “teacher” in the family, responsible for teaching younger siblings.

Although these teaching contents may not be formal, whether it’s teaching younger siblings how to get snacks from their parents or how to play pranks together, these interactions invisibly exercise the leader’s leadership skills, sense of responsibility, and problem-solving abilities.

For the second child, they can quickly accumulate experience in this process of “teaching and learning”.

Although they are young, they often have early exposure to skills such as how to communicate with their parents and how to solve small problems in the family.

Therefore, the second son often learns more coping skills, develops more flexible adaptability, and even demonstrates stronger innovation and problem-solving abilities than the eldest son in certain aspects through interaction.

5. Social skills of the second child: They are better at “observing words and expressions”. Many parents have found that the second child is often better at socializing and observing words and expressions.

As the eldest son takes on more responsibilities in the family, the second son begins early on to learn how to interact with family, friends, and society through observation and imitation.

The second child usually has a better understanding of their parents’ emotional changes, needs, and expectations, making them more flexible and appropriate in interactions.

For example, the second child usually knows how to use humor to make their parents happy and knows how to express their needs at the appropriate time.

This advantage in emotional intelligence often allows the second child to quickly find their place in the family and establish more harmonious relationships with others.

Conclusion: Intelligence is not just about intelligence. “Intelligence” is not simply measured by IQ tests.

More often than not, it is reflected in how children cope with challenges in life, how they use existing resources to solve problems, and how they establish effective communication and cooperation with others.

The reason why the second child appears smarter in certain aspects does not mean that they are naturally smarter than the first child, but rather because they have faced different upbringing environments and family roles since birth.

Whether it’s the eldest or the second child, every child has their own unique strengths and potential.

In the family, each child grows up in a different role and environment, and demonstrates their intelligence and talent in their own way.

The key to success is often not the level of intelligence, but how to fully utilize one’s strengths, solve problems, overcome challenges, and realize self-worth.

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