Why Is My 2 Year Old Getting Sick Frequently: What I’ve Learned From Months of Constant Colds
It’s 7:30 a.m. and I’m folding the last of the weekend’s laundry when my 2-year-old, Lila, pads over to me, drags her sleeve across her face, and leaves a glistening green snot streak on my gray sweatpants. This is the third time in two months she’s had a runny nose, and six months ago, this would have sent me into a spiral: digging out the thermometer, texting my boss to reschedule my work day, scrolling WebMD until my eyes burned. But today, I just hand her a tissue, wipe off my pants, and ask if she wants blueberries or strawberries with her toast.
Last fall, we enrolled Lila in a two-day-a-week playgroup, her first time around more than one or two other kids on a regular basis. Before that, she’d had exactly one cold in her whole life, a mild thing when she was 12 months that lasted two days. By mid-November, I’d counted four separate colds, one ear infection, and a stomach bug that left us both up all night changing sheets. I wrote the dates on the side of my fridge with a dry erase marker, staring at it every night while I waited for my tea to steep, convinced I was doing something wrong. I disinfected every doorknob and every toy with bleach spray every Sunday. I stopped letting her touch the playground mulch. I turned down playdates with any kid who had a sniffle. I called our pediatrician convinced something was wrong with her immune system.
When I sat down in her office and pulled out my little list of sick days, she laughed a little, not in a mean way. She said most 2-year-olds in regular group care get 8 to 12 colds a year, that it’s totally normal. Her immune system is just building up its memory to all the common germs out there, that it’s actually doing exactly what it’s supposed to do. That was the first thing that shifted for me. I’d always heard “kids get sick” but I never realized how frequent that actually is when they’re 2 and just starting to socialize with other kids their age.
I went home and threw away my big bottle of bleach disinfectant that day. I’d been spending an extra hour every weekend wiping down every toy and surface, and it made my whole house smell like chemicals and cut into time I could have spent doing anything else. Now, the only things I wash thoroughly after Lila recovers from a cold are her sippy cup, toothbrush, and any other items that go straight in her mouth. Everything else gets a quick wipe with soap and water if it’s visibly dirty, and that’s it. I don’t make her wash her hands every 10 minutes when we’re at home, either, just before meals and after we’ve been out at playgroup or the store.
Another concrete change I made was stopping the habit of keeping her home for every little runny nose. Our playgroup and my flexible part-time work allows kids to attend as long as they don’t have a fever over 100.4 and they’re acting like themselves. Before, I’d keep her home the whole week just for a clear runny nose, which put me way behind on work and kept her from the gentle exposure that helps her body build resistance. Now, I just pack an extra pack of tissues, remind her to cough into her elbow, and we go. If she gets tired or cranky, we leave early, and that’s that.
I also stopped buying the fancy immune-boosting gummies and syrups that all the parent groups were advertising. They gave Lila constipation, cost $20 a bottle, and our pediatrician said there’s no evidence they actually cut down on the number of colds for healthy kids. Now, I just make sure she gets one serving of fruit or veg every day (usually frozen mango, which she begs for) and sticks to her regular bedtime that gives her 11 hours of sleep a night. That’s it, no fancy extras, no complicated routines.
Last month, we were at the grocery store, and Lila stopped to say hi to a little girl her age who was sniffling. The other mom started pulling her kid back, apologizing, saying she just got over a cold. I told her it’s fine, my kid gets more colds than not these days anyway. She told me her daughter was also 2, also in playgroup, and she’d been panicking too, thinking she was a bad mom for her kid getting sick so often. That’s when I realized how many of us are going through this, not talking about it, because we all assume everyone else’s 2 year old never gets sick.
Some things still stress me out. Last week, Lila’s cough lasted 10 days, and I still stayed up for an hour googling “toddler cough that won’t go away” before I remembered that our pediatrician said post-viral coughs can last up to two weeks. I still have to shift my work schedule sometimes when she actually gets a fever and has to stay home. It’s still annoying, still disruptive, I still catch her cold half the time.
It’s not that I have it all figured out. I still worry sometimes that something is wrong, even after the pediatrician assured me Lila’s perfectly healthy. But I don’t panic like I used to. Today, after Lila’s snot streak on my sweatpants, we ate toast, we went to the library story time, we came home and played with playdough that she kept dropping on the floor, and I didn’t even throw it out. Tonight, she’s asleep on the monitor, sniffling a little, but breathing fine. Tomorrow, if her temp is still normal, we’re going to the pumpkin patch like we planned. It’s messy, it’s inconvenient, but it’s just what being 2 is these days.
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