Why do kids see nursing as better than blue collar jobs? Parenting tips for talking about work
I was volunteering at my son Jax’s 5th grade career day last month, sorting neon name tags by the gym door, when my sneakers stuck to a puddle of spilled lemonade and I overheard him arguing with his friend Mia. They were taping a list of jobs to a poster board, sorted into three categories: Good Jobs, OK Jobs, and Bad Jobs. Jax had written “plumber” under Good Jobs, and Mia crossed it out and moved it to OK. “My mom says plumbers are blue collar,” she said. “That’s not as good as being a nurse. Nurses are real good jobs.”
Jax crossed his arms. “My Uncle Mike is an electrician, that’s blue collar, and he has a boat. Why is that bad?”
“Because you have to work with your hands, and it’s dirty,” Mia said. “My mom works hard as a nurse, but it’s respectable.”
I wiped my sticky sneaker on a gym mat and wandered over, just to de-escalate before they crumpled the whole poster. Looking over their list, I noticed every blue collar job was in OK or Bad, and every professional role from nursing to accounting was in Good. That wasn’t just two kids being silly. That was a list of all the unspoken messages we accidentally feed kids every single day.
After the fair, we drove home for after-school cheese crackers, and Jax brought it up again. He said his teacher told him last semester that with his solid math grades, he could “do better than being a mechanic” when he mentioned he liked working on old bikes with our retired neighbor. I gripped the steering wheel and realized I’d done the exact same thing. A couple of years back, when he first said he wanted to fix cars for a living, I’d offhandedly said “That’s great, but wouldn’t you rather do something like nursing that’s more steady?” I didn’t even think about what I was saying. I just repeated the line I’d heard from my own parents growing up.
Last week, Uncle Mike came over to replace our rusted-out water heater. I usually just let him work while I fold laundry upstairs, but this time I asked Jax to grab a cold soda for him and hang out if he wanted. Jax leaned against the basement wall for the whole hour, firing off questions while Mike worked. Mike showed him the corroded anode rod, explained how he tests water pressure, and when Jax asked how much he makes, Mike laughed and said he charges $85 an hour for service calls, works four days a week, and turned down opening a second shop because he doesn’t want to give up his Friday fishing trips. He has no student debt, he gets to pick his own hours, and he says the best part of the job is leaving every day with something fixed that was broken. “Nursing is great if that’s what you like,” he told Jax. “But don’t let anyone tell you this work isn’t good enough just because you get your hands dirty.”
When Mike left, I sat on the porch with Jax and thought about all the small shifts I’ve been making since career day. It’s easy to accidentally reinforce that hierarchy of work without meaning to, so I’ve come up with small, simple things that don’t take any extra time that other parents can try too.
The first thing is to swap the common phrase “you can do better than that” when a kid mentions a blue collar job for “what do you like about that work?” I used to say the first line without thinking, and it immediately shames them for even considering the job. Asking what they like keeps the conversation open and lets them talk about what draws them in, instead of shutting the idea down right away.
The second thing is to actually let your kid talk to the tradespeople who come to your house, instead of shooing them out of the way. Most workers don’t mind answering a couple of questions from a curious kid, and it lets them hear first hand what the job is really like, not just what adults say about it. When the HVAC technician came to fix our AC last month, my kid found out the tech races dirt bikes on the weekend and pays all his racing fees with his work bonus. That’s way more memorable than anything I could tell him about job prestige.
Third, I’ve started being honest about the numbers when we talk about work. A lot of people don’t know that entry level electricians and plumbers often make more than entry level nurses right out of training, and almost none of them leave trade school with $30,000 or more in student debt. I don’t bash nursing— it’s hard, important work that I’m grateful for every time I need medical care. But I don’t pretend it’s the only good, stable option out there anymore.
Jax still spends every Saturday afternoon working on broken bikes in our garage, and he still talks about wanting to fix cars for a living. He might change his mind next year, or when he picks high school classes, or at any point along the way. He might end up being a nurse, or a teacher, or an engineer, or he might stick with fixing engines. I don’t know what he’ll pick, and that’s fine. The only thing I’m trying to do now is make sure he doesn’t rule out something he loves just because some random unspoken hierarchy says it’s not good enough.
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