Why Are Most Students More Engaged In College Than High School? What Parents And Teachers Should Know
The cart wheels squeaked as Mrs. Lopez stopped me by the cereal aisle last month, holding a bag of mini marshmallows her granddaughter had begged for. She pulled out her phone to show me a photo of my former student Mia, grinning next to a lab table full of beakers, holding up a printout of her first A+ in college biology. Two years ago, at Mia’s junior year parent-teacher conference, Mrs. Lopez had sat across from me in my room full of chipped desks, twisting the strap of her purse and asking what we were doing wrong. “She won’t even read the textbook for high school bio,” she’d said. “Why can’t she care this little about anything?”
I’ve been a 12th grade teacher for 18 years, and this conversation isn’t unusual. I see it every graduation: kids who spent four years dragging themselves out of bed, skipping study hall, rushing through assignments just to get a passing grade, suddenly throw themselves into college like it’s a completely different world. Mia’s not an anomaly. There’s Javi, who failed 11th grade English because he never turned in a single essay, spending every class period drawing concept cars in the back of the room. He went to community college for automotive technology, and last year he sent me a link to his first regional repair competition win, with a note saying he gets A’s on every exam now.
The question of whether people are generally more engaged in college than high school isn’t just a thought experiment for me. It’s a pattern I watch play out every year, and the answer for most kids is yes. But it’s not because kids suddenly “grow up” the day they step on a college campus, or because college classes are somehow more interesting by default. It comes down to two big differences that parents and high school teachers can adapt, even within the rules of required high school curriculums.
First, college is built around choice. Most high schools require a rigid set of core classes to graduate: four years of English, three of math, two years of lab science, regardless of what a kid wants to do after graduation. Electives are often limited, and even when you get to pick, you usually have to check a hundred boxes before you get to the stuff you actually care about. In college, you pick your major, and almost every class you take ties directly to the path you chose for yourself. Mia wanted to be a vet since she was 10, but her high school bio curriculum focused on algae and the Krebs cycle, with no space for the animal anatomy she actually cared about. In college, every lecture builds toward the goal she set, so showing up and doing the work feels worth it.
The second difference is autonomy. In high school, teachers remind kids about due dates, parents nag them about homework, counselors check their progress every semester. If a kid skips class, someone calls home. If they forget an assignment, a parent will often email the teacher to beg for an extra day. In college, no one does that. If you skip lecture, you fail the midterm, and no one calls your mom to tell on you. That lack of hand-holding sounds scary, but for most kids, it makes the work feel like theirs, not something adults are making them do.
The good news is you don’t have to wait for college to give kids that sense of engagement. There are small, concrete changes parents and teachers can make right now that make a big difference.
For teachers, that means letting kids tie assignments to their interests whenever possible. I stopped assigning specific research paper topics a couple years ago, after that conversation with Mrs. Lopez. Now I just require that the paper makes a clear argument and cites sources, and kids can write about whatever they want. Last semester I had a paper on how to tune a motorcycle engine, another on how social media algorithms affect teen mental health for a kid who makes TikTok content, both were just as well-researched and thoughtful as any generic essay I’ve graded. If your school allows it, let kids swap assignment formats too: a kid who loves drawing can turn a book analysis into a graphic novel instead of a five-page essay, as long as they show they understand the material.
For parents, the biggest concrete change is stepping back from day-to-day management earlier than you probably think. Starting in 10th grade, stop texting your kid every night to ask if they did their homework. If your kid forgets to study for a test and gets a D, don’t email the teacher to ask for a retake unless the teacher gives that option to everyone. Let them deal with the small consequences when the stakes are still low, instead of sending them off to college with no practice managing their own workload. When your kid complains about a required class they don’t care about, don’t just tell them to “tough it out.” Ask them if they can connect their final project to something they like. If they love gaming, can they do their history project on the evolution of video game graphics over the last 30 years? Most teachers will say yes if you ask.
Of course, this doesn’t fix every problem. Some kids are disengaged in college too, usually when they picked a major to please their parents instead of themselves. And high schools still have state requirements we have to meet, so we can’t let kids skip all core classes to only study what they love. There are still kids who drag themselves through my class, counting the days until graduation, and that’s not going anywhere.
After talking to Mrs. Lopez in Target, I walked to the checkout with my own groceries, thinking about how much of high school is still built around checking boxes, not building real engagement. It’s slow work changing that, one assignment at a time. But every year, I see a few more kids find that spark early, before they ever step foot on a college campus, and that’s enough to keep trying.
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