Where to Find Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: A Parent’s Experience
The crumbs from my 5-year-old daughter Lila’s after-school goldfish were already scattered across the kitchen table when she looked up from spreading strawberry jam on her toast and asked, “Why did Javi say my brown skin is different from his?”
I froze mid-sip of my cold coffee. I’d known this question was coming eventually—Javi is her white classmate, and we’re a mixed-race family, so skin difference is part of our daily life. But I’d put off looking for resources because every search I’d started threw up articles full of heavy content for middle schoolers, or books that covered segregation and slavery in terms no 5 year old could wrap their head around. I’d also heard the common tip to just say “we’re all equal” so I blurted that out: “We’re all the same on the inside, baby. It doesn’t matter what our skin looks like.”
Lila frowned, swiped a crumb off the table into her palm, and went back to her toast. I could tell that answer wasn’t enough. She’d asked a question about what she saw right in front of her, and I’d erased the thing she was curious about. That night, I sat down on the couch after she went to bed and properly searched for resources, sifting through hundreds of results to find what actually works for a kid who still thinks forgetting to share a crayon is the biggest moral failure of the week.
The first thing I learned was that most resources out there skip what 5 year olds actually need developmentally. Five year olds are concrete thinkers. They don’t understand large, abstract systems or centuries of history. They just notice differences, and they’re curious. If you don’t give them simple, honest words to talk about those differences, they pick up that difference is something scary or rude to mention. That’s how unspoken biases start forming, even at that age.
I started at the local library, and after putting back three books that had upsetting images I didn’t want Lila to process, I found two that worked perfectly. The first is The Skin You Live In, a short, rhyming book that just talks about all the different shades of skin, how we use our skin to hug, play, and run, and how different is good. The second is Last Stop on Market Street, which follows a Black boy on a bus ride with his grandma, and talks about appreciating what you have and the beauty of different communities. No heavy history, no scary stories, just normal kids living normal lives. Those are the books I reach for now when Lila asks a question. They’re short enough to hold her attention, and they give us a jumping off point to talk without a stuffy lecture.
Books aren’t the only useful resource, though. I stumbled on a $4 pack of multi-cultural skin tone crayons at Target one day, and that’s been the most used anti-racism “resource” we have. Lila draws her class every weekend, and now she can pick a crayon that matches each friend’s skin instead of having to use the generic peach one that never fits anyone but Javi. Last week, she drew our whole family: dark brown for me and her, light tan for my husband, and she held it up and said “All of us look just like us, right?” It was such a small thing, but it let her talk about difference in a way that felt natural, not like a forced lesson.
I also started changing how I respond when she points out something different in public, instead of shushing her like I used to. If we’re at the grocery store and she asks why that man has a long braid down his back, I just say “Some people grow their hair long because it’s part of their culture, that’s the traditions their family has. Isn’t it cool that everyone does things their own way?” If a kid at the park speaks Spanish and she asks why I don’t understand what he’s saying, I say “Lots of people speak different languages, that’s their family’s language. It’s fun that we get to learn new words from him.” No big explanation, just a simple, neutral answer that normalizes difference instead of making it a taboo topic.
I tried one of those printable anti-racism activity packs I found online once, and Lila got bored after two minutes and went to play with her dolls. That’s when I realized you don’t need fancy curriculums for 5 year olds. The best resources are just small, everyday things that fit into your routine. When Lila’s preschool hosted a cultural share day, I made my mom’s dosas and we brought them in. Lila got to tell her class we eat them for breakfast every Sunday, and other kids brought their own family favorites too. No one gave a big speech, everyone just tried different food and talked about what they do at home. That was far more effective than any workbook page could ever be.
I still don’t have all the answers. Last week, a kid at the park wouldn’t play with Lila’s new friend Zara, who is Black, and Lila asked me why. I said “That wasn’t kind. Some people are taught that it’s okay to be mean to people who look different, which is wrong. Let’s go ask Zara if she wants to play on the slide with us.” I don’t know if that was the perfect response. I’m still looking for new books, still fumbling through answers when she asks hard questions I didn’t expect.
Right now, what’s working is sticking to small, age-appropriate stuff that meets her where she is. She doesn’t need to know the full scope of racism at 5. She just needs to learn that difference is good, that being kind to everyone matters, and that it’s okay to ask questions. That’s enough for now, and that’s all I’m aiming for.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Where to Find Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: A Parent’s Experience