My daughter joined club volleyball this year—here’s what took me by surprise
The gym smelled like rubber and sweat, and the squeak of shoes on the polished floor was relentless. My daughter, who turned eleven in the fall, was on the far court, running a passing drill with a dozen girls she’d never met. The coach shouted something I couldn’t quite make out, and the girls broke into pairs.
I sat in the bleachers with the other parents, most of whom seemed to know each other. One handed me a printed schedule for the season—tournament dates, practice times, a list of hotels. I shoved it into my jacket pocket and tried to look like I belonged there.
The truth is, I’d been hesitant about club volleyball. When my daughter first asked to join, I had about a hundred questions. Wasn’t school volleyball enough? Why did this cost so much? Who drives to all these tournaments? I also had a quieter worry I kept to myself: what if she wasn’t good enough?
It was a Tuesday in October, her third practice, and I was still feeling that early-parent-investment anxiety. You sign a check and you wonder if you’ve done the right thing.
But watching her from the bleachers, I noticed something. She was being pushed in ways she didn’t expect. The coach had corrected her footwork three times in the first half hour. On the school team, kids who missed a serve got a pat on the back. Here, the girl she was paired with was a few years older, and they worked on serve receive with a focus that seemed almost adult.
When practice ended, my daughter came over, face pink and sweaty. “We have to memorize our rotations,” she said, and she said it with an odd mix of dread and excitement.
Let me back up a bit. Club volleyball, in case you’re not familiar, is the youth travel version of the sport. Teams form outside of school, they practice once or twice a week, and they play in tournaments on weekends, sometimes an hour away, sometimes across state lines. Seasons run from about January through May, though many clubs offer fall pre-tryout clinics.
The cost is the first hurdle for most families. Club fees vary widely based on region and program, but they generally range from a few hundred to well over two thousand dollars, not including travel expenses. Our situation landed on the lower end, but I’ve met parents who’ve paid far more, and I’ve seen scholarships and payment plans offered by some programs. It’s worth asking.
When my daughter first brought it up, I tried to stay neutral. I asked what she liked about it. She said her friend from school was doing it, and she liked the idea of playing more volleyball. I asked if she understood the time commitment, and she shrugged—which is eleven-year-old for “I haven’t thought about it.” Rather than lay out all the logistics at once, I did a little research and took her to watch a practice at a nearby club before committing anything financially.
That practice observation was useful in a way the website wasn’t. The club’s website talked about “player development” and “a positive environment,” which could mean anything. But at the actual practice, I could see the drill structures, the way coaches corrected and encouraged, the size of the group, and the pacing. We got lucky, and the coaches there were patient and honest about how they chose teams.
One thing that surprised me was the range of kids on the floor. Some were clearly advanced, girls who’d been playing for years. Others were beginners, like my daughter, who had decent fundamentals but couldn’t read a hitter’s direction yet. The club grouped them loosely by age but not strictly by skill—at least not at that stage.
The tryout itself was a different story. Ninety minutes of skills stations followed by game simulation. I waited outside in the hallway while my daughter was on the court. She came out looking tired but okay. She didn’t know if she’d make a team, and I didn’t either. The email came three days later, and I still remember the tone of her voice when she read it aloud. “I’m in!” She’d made one of the lower-level teams for her age group.
What I’ve learned since then is that club volleyball is less about winning tournaments and more about giving kids a structured environment where they can develop skills at their own pace—provided you find the right club and the right attitude.
Here are some of the practical things I’ve picked up that might help if you’re considering the same path.
First, talk with your child about expectations before the first tryout. Ask what they think a season might look like. Most kids picture games and weekend trips; they don’t picture the repetition of drills. That’s fine. But set a general understanding that practices come before tournaments in terms of commitment. If your kid isn’t interested in putting in the work twice a week, a club season will feel long.
Second, ask the club about its coaching philosophy. Some clubs at the younger ages don’t keep score or focus heavily on wins. Others are extremely competitive. Neither is right or wrong, but you want a match for your kid’s temperament. Questions like: How do you handle playing time? What happens if my child wants to quit midway through? Are coaches trained in working with kids, or are they mostly experienced players who happen to coach on the side?
Third, understand that tryout failure is real and possible. It’s not a terrible thing for a kid to not make a team. It can be a lesson in resilience, but the way we handle it matters. If your child doesn’t get in, don’t fill the silence with explanations or reassurance right away. Let them talk first. Then ask whether they want to try a different club, a school team, or a rec league. Let the next step be theirs.
I can’t say whether we’re doing the right thing. Some weekends, I stand in a crowded hotel ballroom in a different town while my daughter plays three games back to back, and I wonder where the enthusiasm I saw in October has gone. She misses serves, gets frustrated, bounces back. Some tournaments she stands quietly on the bench longer than she’d like, and I have to pull my hands apart and let the coach handle it.
But I’ve also seen her do something I never saw on a school team: study the game. She watches the older girls, tries things in practice the next week, asks questions about rotations and technique. She didn’t love volleyball more because she joined a club—but she’s come to understand it better.
The season ends in a few weeks. She hasn’t said whether she wants to play again in the fall, and I haven’t asked. I’m letting it settle. We’ll figure it out together after the last tournament.
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