Is The Boys Appropriate for 12 to 14 Year Olds? A Parent’s Real Experience and Tips
The rain streaked our back window last month when my 13-year-old son Jaden and his best friend, Leo, collapsed on the couch after their soccer practice got canceled. I was perched at the dining table folding muddy uniform socks, half listening as they scrolled through Netflix for something to put on. “Dude, ask your mom if we can watch The Boys,” Leo said, quiet enough that he thought I couldn’t hear. Jaden turned to me, already leaning into the plea: “C’mon, everyone in 8th grade talks about it. We’ve all seen clips on TikTok anyway. It’s just a superhero show that makes fun of Marvel.”
I froze a little, because I’d only ever heard The Boys described as ultra-violent, raunchy TV-MA chaos meant for grown-ups. My first instinct was to say no, hard no. But I also remembered two months before, when Jaden went to a birthday party and came home quiet after a group of older kids put on a gory horror movie no parent was supervising. He didn’t want to talk about what upset him for three days, and I hated that he had to process something overwhelming without me there. So I said, “Give me 10 minutes. I’m gonna watch the first 15 minutes alone first, then I’ll tell you yes or no.”
I curled up on my bed with my laptop and hit play. Yeah, it was every bit as graphic as people said: a villain blown apart in the first 10 minutes, sexual threats, constant f-bombs, all the edgy content you’d expect. But I was surprised to find it wasn’t just mindless shock value. It’s actually a sharp satire of corporate superhero marketing, toxic celebrity culture, and how powerful people get away with terrible things no one dares call them out on. Jaden has been obsessed with superhero lore since he was 8, and he’s been asking me lately why problematic influencers still have millions of fans, and how politicians can lie and still keep their jobs. This show was already talking about the exact stuff he’s curious about.
I walked back out to the living room and said yes, but with three non-negotiable ground rules. One: we only watch it when I’m around, no sneaking episodes on your phone after bed. Two: any time anyone wants to pause, or turn it off, we do it no questions asked, no teasing. Three: I get to skip any bits I think are just unnecessary shock value that don’t add anything to the story. They agreed immediately, and we hit play.
Ten minutes in, after that first big gory explosion, both boys flinched and then laughed that nervous, too-loud laugh teens do when something catches them off guard. I hit pause. “What do you think that’s for, do you think?” I asked. Jaden shrugged, said “It’s just to gross you out, I guess. It’s satire.” Leo nodded, added “Yeah, it’s not supposed to be like a normal superhero movie. It’s making fun of them.” We talked for five minutes about how sometimes shows use really graphic violence to make a point, but that doesn’t mean you have to find it fun or cool if it bothers you. Then we hit play again. When Homelander did that threatening, sexual scene with the congresswoman, I paused right away. Jaden looked uncomfortable, so I said “That scene isn’t here to titillate. It’s here to show how Homelander uses his power to intimidate people who get in his way. He’s evil, that’s the whole point.” They both nodded, that clicked, and we moved on.
A lot of my mom friends lose it when I tell them I let Jaden watch it. They say he’s too young, it’ll desensitize him to violence, and I’m being too lenient. I get that—if your 12 year old still gets nightmares after a scary PG-13 movie, or can’t stop reenacting violent fight scenes that hurt people, or never comes to you when they see something upsetting, then yeah, this isn’t the show for your kid. This isn’t a “all parents should let their kids watch this” take. But what I’ve learned with this 12 to 14 age group is that they’re already seeing this stuff anyway. TikTok’s algorithm doesn’t care about age ratings. Half the time, their friends’ parents don’t check what they’re watching at sleepovers. Banning it doesn’t make it go away, it just means you’re not there to help them unpack it.
What I tell other parents who ask me for advice is simple, concrete stuff. First, watch the first 20 minutes yourself before you decide. Don’t just go by a generic 16+ rating—ratings don’t know your kid. Second, ask yourself two quick questions: Does your kid come to you when they see something that confuses or upsets them? Are they already asking questions about power, good vs evil, and why bad people get famous, the core stuff this show actually talks about? If the answer is yes, co-watching works way better than banning. Third, don’t be afraid to skip bits. You don’t have to subject anyone to 10 minutes of unnecessary gore just to get the show’s point. I fast forward through at least one graphic bit per episode, and no one’s complained. They care about the plot and the jokes, not just the shock.
A few weeks back, Jaden got into a discussion at school about Homelander. A bunch of his classmates were saying Homelander is the coolest character, he’s just a “badass”. Jaden told them that the whole point of the show is that Homelander is what happens when you give someone unlimited power and no consequences, and that people shouldn’t think he’s cool. He told me that after school, and I was surprised— I never would have had that conversation if I’d just banned the show outright. These edgy adult shows that teens are obsessed with give you a chance to talk about big, messy real-world stuff they’re already thinking about, in a language they actually get.
I still don’t know if this is the right call for everyone. Sometimes after an episode, I wonder if I’m letting him grow up too fast. Other times, I see him talking through these ideas with his friends, and I think this is better than him figuring it all out alone without any guidance. We’re still watching an episode every other Saturday, when there’s nothing else to do. I keep the remote close, ready to pause or skip. It’s not perfect, but it works for us right now.
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