Is it too difficult to get along with teenagers at the terrifying age of 14? Remember the nine words: ‘Three don’t care, three don’t get used to, three don’t say’

“At the age of 14, a child is simply an emotional bomb, which can explode at any moment. Parents will go to heaven if they are not right.

” Is such a roast familiar. Many mothers and I complain that when their children reach puberty, they talk back, don’t listen, and even become indifferent like strangers, making them feel helpless.

In fact, there are ways to deal with the difficulties faced by adolescent children. As a mother who has experienced the “storm” of adolescence, I want to tell everyone: Remember the nine words – “don’t care, don’t get used to it, and don’t say anything”.

This problem will be much easier. 1. ‘Three No’s’ – giving children freedom and allowing them to grow up.

Adolescent children are in a transitional stage from dependence to independence, yearning for more autonomy but lacking judgment.

At this point, what parents need to do the most is learn to ‘let go’. ‘Three No’s’ does not mean letting go, but selectively delegating power.

Regardless of their social circle, the influence of children’s friends is crucial, but we cannot help children choose friends and should not interfere.

I remember when my child was 14 years old, he suddenly started getting close to a classmate whom I thought was’ unreliable ‘.

I endured for a few days, but in the end, I couldn’t help but ask her, “Do you think it’s meaningful to play with him.

” As a result, before I could finish speaking, she impatiently retorted, “I can choose my friend myself, don’t worry too much.

” Later, I chose to let go and no longer interfere. She learned to distinguish herself in this friendship and finally took the initiative to distance herself from that classmate.

Rather than intervening, it’s better to believe in the child’s growth ability. Regardless of their interests and hobbies, children’s interests are an important way for them to explore themselves and discover the world.

Even if it doesn’t seem so ‘serious’, it’s still worth giving them some freedom. For a period of time, my child became obsessed with drawing comics and held onto a tablet every day.

At first, I was worried about delaying her studies, but later I realized that drawing comics taught her to persevere and focus, and she also found new friends.

From not understanding her works to encouraging her to showcase them, my child’s confidence gradually built up.

3. Regardless of their learning progress, we certainly care about their learning, but teenagers need more autonomy.

Instead of nagging and urging, it’s better to believe that they can take responsibility for their own learning.

Once my child took the initiative to say to me, ‘Mom, I found that my English is a bit lagging behind and I want to enroll in an online class.

‘ This sentence surprised me very much because she always procrastinated on the tutoring I had been ‘arranging’ before.

Later on, I realized that a child’s motivation for learning comes from autonomy, not parental control.

2. The ‘Three Habits’ – Establishing good rules and holding the bottom line. Adolescent children’s rebellion and self-awareness have increased, leaving many parents at a loss and afraid of’ head-on confrontation ‘, which may exacerbate conflicts.

But without rules, there is no direction for growth. The ‘Three Habits’ are not opposed to children, but to help them establish clear behavioral boundaries.

1. Adolescent children who are not accustomed to his bad temper are prone to emotional fluctuations and often get angry over trivial matters.

At this point, parents cannot simply give in. I remember one time my child threw all his emotions at his family because of poor exam results.

He not only slammed the door, but also shouted at me, “Don’t worry about me. ” I didn’t explode, but calmly told her, “Being angry is okay, but slamming the door and shouting at my mom is not.

When you lose control of your emotions, you can calm down first and talk about it. ” After several communications, she gradually learned to express her emotions in a more mature way.

2. Unable to get used to his lazy habits, adolescent children’s self-control is still being cultivated, which can easily lead to laziness and procrastination.

But once bad habits are formed, the consequences are difficult to deal with. For a while, my child always stayed up in the morning, and I reminded him several times but it didn’t work.

So, I directly set the “rule”: if you don’t get up within 15 minutes after the alarm goes off, breakfast will be canceled.

After executing it several times, she understood the importance of time management and was able to wake up on time without my further explanation.

3. Adolescent children who are not accustomed to his capriciousness and recklessness will always have the stubbornness of “I just want to be like this”, and parents need to firmly guard the bottom line.

Once, when my child insisted on going out to meet with friends at 10 pm, I clearly told her, “Safety is the bottom line, and you can’t go out during this time.

” At first, she was not convinced, but later during a school safety education class, she took the initiative to tell me, “Mom, you’re right.

I was really too stubborn before. ” Thirdly, “Three Don’ts” – the art of communication is better than ineffective nagging.

Adolescent children are very sensitive, and a parent’s sentence may be infinitely amplified. Learning the “three no’s” can avoid many unnecessary conflicts.

1. If it doesn’t hurt self-esteem, adolescent children are very concerned about their image and face.

If parents’ criticism is not handled properly, it can easily lead to resentment. Once when my child’s essay didn’t win an award, I casually said, ‘Did you not write it seriously.

‘ She immediately became very aggrieved after listening, and later refused to take the initiative to show me her work anymore.

After reflection, I changed my approach and encouraged her more since then: “This article is quite interesting, and it will be even better to add more details next time.

” 2. Don’t blame your child’s problem blindly, don’t rush to blame, but use open-ended questions to guide them to think.

Once, my child didn’t perform well in an exam and came home with a dejected face. I didn’t just say, ‘Why did you fail the exam again.

‘ Instead, I asked her, ‘What do you think went wrong this time. ‘ She began to reflect on her careless habits and proactively proposed improvement plans.

3. Not saying “forever” words like “how come you always do this. ” or “you can never change. ” will only make children more rebellious.

Parents should use more specific expressions instead of vague negation to make communication more effective.

For example, if a child always forgets to bring a book, instead of saying “Why do you always forget. ” I would tell her, “What did you forget this time.

How can you avoid it next time. ” Writing about it in the final stages of adolescence is indeed difficult for children to bring books, but looking at it from a different perspective, we can find that this stage is also an important opportunity for children to grow up.

Three no’s, let go and let the child grow; The three unaccustomed are to adhere to principles and guide them; Three not to mention, accompany them with wise communication.

By using these nine words to interact with children, you will find that the storm of adolescence is not so scary.

May we all become trustworthy partners on the path of children’s growth.