Introducing Your Kid to Club Volleyball: What Every Parent Should Know Before They Try Out
The gym reeked of floor wax and old sneakers when I walked in for 12-year-old Lila’s first club volleyball tryout last February. My to-go coffee had condensed so much the cup was slipping in my hand, and Lila’s hand-me-down knee pads slid down her calves every time she took a step. She’d spent the 20-minute drive complaining that she only agreed to come because I promised a mango smoothie after, and if she hated it we never had to talk about it again. I nodded, but I was secretly hopeful: she’d quit rec soccer after a season, bailed on swimming lessons halfway through the summer, and spent most of her free time after homework scrolling short videos on her phone. I was running out of ideas for something she might stick with.
I’d always written off club volleyball as a sport for hyper-competitive families, the kind that drive three hours for tournaments every weekend and spend thousands on gear and private lessons. I didn’t have that kind of time or money, and Lila wasn’t the star athlete type – she’d gotten cut from the 7th grade basketball team the fall before, and had stopped trying out for school sports after that. But a friend from work told me her kid played on an entry-level developmental team at the same club, so I figured we had nothing to lose by showing up.
Lila hung back at first, sticking to the edge of the drill line when the coaches called players over. Halfway through the hour, I saw her laugh when another girl missed a serve and hit a cone, and by the end she was stepping up to hit the ball more than she had at the start. A week later, we got the email: she didn’t make the top competitive team, but she’d gotten a spot on the 12U developmental team. The coach wrote that she had good court awareness and listened well, which was all they cared about for that team.
That’s when I learned most of what I’d assumed about club volleyball was wrong. I’d braced for a $2,000 season fee and four practices a week, but the developmental team was two 90-minute practices after school a week, one local tournament a month, and the fee was less than $600 for the whole season, which includes uniforms and court time. The team parent set up a gear swap before the first practice, and we left with gently used knee pads, a practice ball, and a team bag for $25, instead of buying all new gear that would be outgrown in a year anyway. Parents organize car pools to tournaments so no one has to drive alone, and we split snack costs to keep things affordable for everyone.
The first month surprised me. Lila had always hated speaking up in groups, especially when she wasn’t sure she was doing something right. Her teacher had mentioned at fall conferences that she’d rather get a question wrong than raise her hand to ask for help. But in volleyball, if you don’t call “mine” when the ball comes your way, it hits the floor or two people collide. The coach made every player call every ball, no exceptions. After three weeks, Lila’s teacher emailed me to say she’d started asking for clarification on group work assignments in front of the whole class. It was a small change, but it stuck out.
It’s not all good, of course. Last month, at their first away tournament, Lila messed up three consecutive passes in the final set, and the team lost by two points. She came off the court and sat on the end of the bench, shoulders hunched, and I could see she was fighting tears. I grabbed her water bottle and walked over, already planning to tell her we could leave early and get that smoothie she liked, no questions asked. But before I got there, her coach sat down next to her, pulled out the little notebook she keeps, and asked Lila to walk her through what she did differently on each pass. Five minutes later, Lila wiped her face and walked back over to huddle for the next match. They didn’t win that one either, but after the game she didn’t talk about losing – she talked about how she adjusted her footwork and got a perfect pass on the last point.
If you’re thinking of introducing your kid to club volleyball, there’s a few small things I’ve picked up that make the whole process easier, no matter how good your kid is. First, email the club director a week before tryouts and tell them your kid is new to the sport and just looking for a place to learn. Most clubs hold spots for new players on lower-level teams, and letting them know upfront keeps you from stressing out if they don’t make the top team. Second, don’t buy anything expensive before your kid makes a team. Almost every club has a used gear swap for new players, and most will let you borrow a ball for the first few practices if you don’t have one. Third, if your kid doesn’t make a team at first, ask about drop-in skills clinics. Almost every club runs these for kids who want to build skills before trying out again, and they’re way cheaper than committing to a full season upfront.
I still worry sometimes that we’re putting too much on her plate, or that she’s only sticking with it because she thinks I want her to. But last week, she asked if she could go to the optional open gym on Sunday afternoons, just to hit the ball around with a couple of girls from her team. She didn’t ask me to bribe her to go, she just packed her bag the night before. I don’t know if she’ll play club volleyball next year, or if she’ll decide she’d rather spend her time doing pottery or joining the school debate team. Either way is fine with me. Right now, she has a place to go after school where she doesn’t have to get perfect grades or be the best at anything, she just has to show up and call the ball. We have a lot of early Saturday mornings where she drags her feet getting in the car, I forget the Gatorade half the time, and we end up eating greasy fast food for dinner after tournaments that run late. It’s not perfect, but it’s working for us right now.
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