Introducing Your Kid to Club Volleyball: Practical Tips From A Parent Who’s Been There
7:27 a.m. in a crowded middle school gym parking lot, my coffee is sloshing in the cupholder, my 12-year-old daughter Lila has her hand-me-down kneepads rolled up in an old canvas tote, and I’m already regretting saying yes when she asked to try this. I’d heard all the warnings from other parents: club volleyball is only for rich dads gunning for college scholarships, it’s full of screaming parents on the sidelines, it’ll take over every weekend you have. I dragged my feet in because Lila had quit rec soccer three months prior, complaining that half the team spent the whole game picking dandelions, and she wanted something that actually felt like playing.
When we walked in, the place smelled like rubber gym floor and lemon disinfectant, and all the other kids were already hitting balls back and forth. Lila hung back by the door, shoulders hunched, and I braced for her to say she wanted to leave. Instead, the coach — a 20-something woman with a frayed braid and a whistle slung around her neck — wandered over and said, “You must be Lila. Grab any ball from that stack over there, no pressure today, just mess around.” That was it, no speech, no tryout drill to sort the good kids from the bad.
I climbed up to the bleachers, pulled out my laptop to answer work emails like I’d planned, and ended up just watching. Lila tripped over her own feet the first three times she tried to pass. She missed the net completely on her first serve, and her face turned bright pink. But she didn’t trudge back to me to quit. She just bent down, grabbed the ball, and tried again. The mom sitting next to me, whose daughter was on the team, leaned over and said, “First time?” I admitted I was ten minutes from talking Lila out of it if she showed any sign of wanting to leave. She laughed and said her daughter felt the same way for the first three weeks, and now she begs to go even when she’s got a cold.
Over the first two months, I’ve learned most of the scary stories about club volleyball are only true for the top-tier traveling teams that compete out of state. The entry-level options that most clubs offer for kids just moving up from rec are nothing like that, and they’re a lot more accessible than I ever thought.
The first mistake I almost made was dropping $200 on brand new gear before the first practice. I’d seen other kids with custom club bags and $80 volleyballs, and I almost bit the bullet to make sure Lila fit in. The coach pulled me aside before the first trial and said 30% of new kids quit in the first month, so just use what you have. That’s the first concrete thing I can pass along: almost every local club offers 1 to 2 free trial practices before you have to commit. Don’t buy any specialty gear until you know your kid wants to stick around. Borrow a ball from a friend, use soccer kneepads if that’s what you have, no one cares what you wear the first few weeks.
The second thing I changed pretty quickly was what I asked Lila after practice. At first, I badgered her with questions: “What did the coach say about your serve?” “Why didn’t you move your feet on that play?” I could see her tense up in the car every time, so I swapped all that for one single question: “What was the silliest thing that happened today?” If she wants to talk about what she messed up, or how the coach helped her fix her stance, she brings it up on her own. If not, we just listen to her Spotify playlist on the drive home, and that’s that. No pressure, no lectures.
The biggest surprise for me was how affordable it can be. I went into this assuming we’d have to pay thousands of dollars a season, but our local YMCA-affiliated club has an entry-level “development” team for kids who just want more play than rec, no out-of-state travel. We paid $350 for the whole 8-month season, that includes all court time and coach pay, and tournaments are all within 30 minutes of home, once a month. I also found out most clubs don’t advertise it, but they have full and partial fee waivers for families who can’t afford the cost — you just have to ask the club director directly. You don’t have to be wealthy to let your kid try this.
At our first local tournament a few weeks back, Lila only got two rotations of play in the first two games. I was sitting in the bleachers getting irritated, ready to pull the coach aside after to ask about playing time. But when I looked over at the bench, Lila was cheering so loud her voice was hoarse, high-fiving every girl who came off the court even when they messed up a play. When she finally got in for the third set, she got a hand on a hard hit and popped it up to the setter, who put it away for a point. The whole bench tackled her (gently, this is 12-year-old volleyball) and I realized I’d been worrying about the wrong thing this whole time. I was focused on playing time and wins, and she was just excited to be part of a group that all cared about the same thing.
Last week, we came home from practice and Lila slammed her tote on the kitchen table and said she messed up four serves in a row during the scrimmage, and her team lost. I almost opened my mouth to say “it’s okay, you tried your best” but I remembered my question. I said, “What was the silliest thing that happened today?” She snort-laughed and said Mia served the ball straight into the basketball hoop, it got stuck, and they had to get the janitor to pull it down with a broom. Ten minutes later, she grabbed her ball and headed out to the driveway to do 15 serves before dinner.
I still hate 7 a.m. Saturday wake-up calls. I still forget to pack extra hair ties and have to dig one out of the bottom of my purse last minute. Some weeks Lila says she doesn’t want to go, and I remind her that she’s the one who asked for this, and she usually ends up having fun anyway. It’s not a grand plan for a college scholarship, and it’s not always easy. It’s just something she likes to do, and that’s enough for right now.
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