Introducing Kids to Club Volleyball: What Every Parent Should Know Before Signing Up
The coffee in my travel mug sloshed over the rim onto my jeans as I pulled into the pothole-ridden parking lot of the old downtown high school. It was 8 a.m. on a Saturday in October, and my 12-year-old Mia was bouncing in the passenger seat, picking at the plastic price tag still stuck to her brand new knee pads. We’d driven 20 minutes for her first ever club volleyball tryout, and I was already second-guessing the whole thing. All the mom groups online had warned me club volleyball was for hyper-competitive families with deep pockets, kids who ate, slept, and breathed the sport starting at age 8. Mia just liked hitting the ball over the fence at recess and begging her dad to play bump and set in the backyard after dinner. I’d signed her up on a whim when the rec league coordinator mentioned most local clubs hold low-pressure tryouts for new players, but that morning, it felt like a huge mistake.
I sat in the cold bleachers through the two-hour tryout, listening to the other parents around me swap stories of elite team fees and out-of-state tournament travel. One mom mentioned she’d spent more on her daughter’s volleyball season than she had on her own car insurance last year. I was already scrolling through my bank app, wondering if I’d have to push back our family vacation if Mia made the cut. When the girls poured out of the gym, Mia was red-faced, hair stuck to her neck, and grinning so wide her dimples showed. She’d made the 12U developmental team, the lowest tier for new players. The coach told her she had great energy and just needed to practice her serve. I was so relieved I bought her a vanilla milkshake on the way home, even though it was only 9 a.m.
Our first season looked nothing like the scary hype I’d seen online. Practice was one Tuesday evening a week for an hour and a half, and one tournament a month on Saturdays. Almost all the tournaments were within 30 minutes of our house, only one this season is an hour away, no plane tickets or hotel stays required. The first few games, Mia spent a lot of time on the bench, but after a couple of weeks, the coach started putting her in for at least two sets every game. I noticed small changes at home first. Mia had always been a kid who fell apart when things didn’t go her way. If she got a B on a quiz, she’d hide it in the bottom of her backpack and refuse to talk about it. If she messed up a recipe when we baked, she’d throw the whole thing in the trash and say she’d never bake again. Then one Saturday, she missed the final serve of a close game, and we lost by two points. I walked over to her ready to give her a hug and say it was okay, and she was already laughing with her teammate, saying “I totally overthought that one, next time I’ll just hit it.” That was the first time I’d seen her brush off a mistake that fast, ever.
A lot of parents I talk to still think club volleyball is only for kids who want to go pro or get a college scholarship. That’s what I thought too, before Mia joined. But for us, it’s been the best kind of after-school activity, the kind that teaches stuff you can’t get from a classroom or a rec soccer team that doesn’t keep score. I picked up a few small, concrete lessons along the way that might help other parents sitting where I was a year ago, wondering if it’s worth the time and money.
First, don’t sleep on lower-tier developmental teams. You don’t have to sign up for the elite program that travels across the country. Almost every mid-sized town has a club that offers entry-level teams for new players, where the focus is on fundamentals and getting every kid play time, not winning every tournament. Fees are usually a third to half what elite teams charge, so it’s way easier on your budget. Second, ask the coach one simple question before you commit: “What percentage of playing time does each kid get on this team?” If they hem and haw, or say the best players get more time, that’s fine if your kid is already advanced and gunning for a spot on a higher team. But if you’re just here to try it out, look for a team that guarantees every kid plays at least half of every set. That’s what sold us on our coach, and it’s made all the difference for Mia’s confidence. Third, if you’re worried about cost, ask about sliding scale or need-based fees. I was too embarrassed to ask at first, but our club had three scholarship slots for our team, and even if we didn’t qualify, they offered a payment plan that split the fee into six monthly payments instead of one lump sum. Most clubs would rather fill their roster than leave spots empty, so it never hurts to ask.
Last weekend, we had our end-of-season tournament. Our team ended up taking fifth out of eight teams, which was way better than anyone expected. After the final game, the team went out for pizza, and Mia sat there covered in tomato sauce, talking about how she wants to play again next season. She’s not going to be an Olympic volleyball player, and she probably won’t get a scholarship out of this. Some weeks, she complains about practice, and I have to drag her out of bed 10 minutes early to make it to tournaments on time. We had to skip my niece’s birthday party last month because it fell on tournament day, which led to a 20-minute fight in the car on the way there. It’s not perfect.
I still have no idea if she’ll stick with it for next year, or if she’ll decide she’d rather do art club instead. But for right now, it’s working. When I sit in the bleachers with my book, waiting for practice to end, I see a bunch of kids who aren’t the best athletes in the world, learning to pick each other up when they mess up, to pass the ball even when they’re tired, to show up even when they know they’re probably going to lose. That’s the stuff no one posts about in the mom groups, the stuff that doesn’t make the highlight reels. If your kid has been begging to try it, and you’re nervous about all the hype, you don’t have to jump in with both feet. Just find a small developmental team, go to the tryout, and see what happens. Chances are, you’ll be surprised what sticks.
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