How to Prepare for High School in September: Practical Tips for Parents and New Freshmen
The overflowing back-to-school aisle at Target smells like new plastic and cherry slushies, and my 14-year-old Mia is leaning against our cart, scrolling TikTok, while I hover over a pack of neon dividers. “We don’t need that,” she says, not looking up. “My friend who’s already in high school said most teachers don’t care if your binder is color-coded.” I drop the dividers in the cart anyway, then pause. Two years ago, I did this for my niece Lila, when she was starting high school. We bought every single item on the 2-page supply list, mapped every one of her classes on the school map, and walked the entire building twice in 90-degree heat. By the night before the first day, she was crying on my couch, saying she was too tired to go. That’s when I realized: most of the prep we do for September is for our own anxiety, not the kid’s.
After Lila’s meltdown, I started asking other parents and the 9th grade guidance counselor at our local high school what actually helps. Turns out, all the big, fancy prep doesn’t matter half as much as taking care of five small, boring things two weeks before the first bell.
We checked the first off the list last week. Instead of scheduling a full hour-long tour, we drove past the school on our way to get tacos, remembered the office was open for summer registration, so we popped in for 12 minutes. Found her assigned locker, practiced the combo twice, looked at the sign near the parking lot to spot the 9th grade entrance, and left. That’s it. We didn’t hunt down every classroom. The guidance counselor told me she spends the first two days directing lost kids anyway, so it’s not a crisis if they don’t know where room 312 is on day one. Getting lost is just part of the first week experience, and it’s not the end of the world if it happens.
That brings us back to Target today, and Mia was right about supplies too. We left with three things: a reusable water bottle with the new K-pop sticker she wanted, a 5-subject notebook, and a heavy-duty canvas tote. Everything else waits until after the first day. Almost every high school teacher lists exactly what they want for their class on the first day, and half the time it’s not what the generic back-to-school list says. We keep a $25 bill tucked in Mia’s backpack the first week, so if she needs a specific notebook or graph paper, she can grab it between classes. No running around at 10pm the first night trying to find something the store might not even have. That eliminates so much last-minute stress for everyone.
Next is the sleep schedule shift, which is the thing most parents leave too late. If your kid’s been staying up till 12 and waking up at 10 all summer, jumping to 10pm bed and 6am wake up overnight just guarantees they’ll be a zombie for the first week. We started shifting Mia’s schedule 15 minutes earlier every other day two weeks before school starts. Two weeks from now, she’ll already be adjusted to the new time, no big fight, no groaning through burnt toast at breakfast the first day. We also practiced packing her backpack and setting her alarm once last weekend, just so it’s not a totally new routine on day one. That took five minutes, that’s all.
Everyone says “talk to your kid about high school” but no one says what to actually talk about. I used to give big speeches about “this is the start of your future” which just makes Mia roll her eyes and walk away. Now I just sit with her on the porch after dinner one night and ask, “What’s one small thing you’re confused or nervous about that you haven’t told anyone?” When I asked Mia, she said she was worried what would happen if she missed the bus. So we pulled up the school district bus app, saved the driver’s number in my phone, and agreed that if she misses it, I’ll just drive her, no lectures about being on time, no big fuss. When I asked Lila that same question two years ago, she said she was scared she’d accidentally walk into the boys bathroom. We pulled up the school map, pointed out that the blue signs are for girls, and that was it. Kids don’t worry about the big stuff we worry about. They worry about the small, embarrassing stuff no one talks about. Addressing that one small thing takes way less time and does way more good than a dozen big pep talks.
A lot of parents ask if they should be prepping academics over the summer, signing up for algebra boot camps or summer study programs. Unless your kid specifically asks for extra help, or they failed a class that needs catching up, don’t do it. Mia’s 8th grade teacher sent a suggested summer reading list, and she picked the only YA mystery on the list instead of the classic novel everyone else is reading. She reads 10 pages a day when she feels like it, that’s it. If she was struggling with basic math skills, we’d do five minutes a day on a free math app, that’s enough. Cramming all summer just makes kids resent school before it even starts.
Tonight, we’re gonna practice her locker combo one more time, pack her backpack for the first day, then get pepperoni pizza like we do every Friday. I still catch myself making lists of things I think we need to do, but I’ve been crossing most of them off. Last week I crossed off “organize study space” because Mia likes her desk the way it is, with her band posters and half-empty lemonade can (she says she works better that way, who am I to argue?). Mia says she’s a little nervous, which makes sense. I was nervous my first day of high school too. We don’t have to fix the nerves. We just have to take care of the small, annoying things that make the first week harder than it needs to be. I don’t know if the first day will go perfectly. She’ll probably forget her lunch, or mix up her classes, or have to ask three people where the gym is. That’s okay. That’s how it goes. Right now, this is enough.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » How to Prepare for High School in September: Practical Tips for Parents and New Freshmen