How to Introduce Your Kid to Club Volleyball: Tips From a First-Time Parent
The gravel crunched under my sneakers last March as I followed my 12-year-old Lila toward the gym entrance for her first club volleyball tryout. Half of my hot cocoa had sloshed onto my windbreaker on the drive over, and Lila was twisting the end of her braid so hard I thought she’d pull it out. “What if everyone’s way better than me?” she said, stopping just short of the door. “What if I trip over my own feet and everyone laughs?”
I get it. I’d spent the previous month scrolling parent forums, reading all the horror stories about club volleyball: thousands of dollars in fees, every weekend consumed by out-of-town tournaments, 10-year-olds crying after being cut from top teams, burnout before high school even started. I almost canceled. But Lila had been begging to play more than the once-a-week rec league she’d done for two years, so I’d dug up a local club’s low-commitment trial and signed her up anyway.
I waited in the stands that morning, watching through smudged gym glass as the girls split into drills. Other parents chatted around me, one talking about her daughter’s third year on the top A team, another complaining about the cost of hotel rooms for upcoming travel tournaments. I kept my mouth shut, just watching Lila. At first she hung back on the end of the line, but when a girl next to her dropped a ball, Lila picked it up and tossed it back, and they grinned at each other. When the drill switched to defense, Lila dove for a low ball and landed hard on her hip, but she popped right up and got back in line. I was surprised; she usually sits out for 10 minutes if she gets even a tiny scrape at rec.
Two days later, we got the email: she’d made the 12U B team. Lila screamed and ran laps around our living room. I still wasn’t sure if I’d done the right thing, but we signed her up for the season.
The first three practices, she came home sore, complaining that her arms were bruised purple from hitting, that the sets were faster than anything she’d seen in rec. But by the fourth week, she started laying out her uniform and knee pads the night before practice, instead of me reminding her to pack at 8 p.m. She started asking if we could go to the park to practice her serve after dinner a couple nights a week.
I used to think club volleyball was only for kids gunning for college scholarships, that it was all pressure and no fun for casual players. That’s the biggest mistake new parents make, I’ve learned. Almost every local club has entry-level development teams for new players, and most of the kids on those teams don’t care about D1. They just like playing the game more than once a week.
From what I’ve figured out over the past six months, there are a few small, concrete things that make introducing your kid to club volleyball way less stressful for everyone. First, never jump straight into a full, expensive season commitment. Almost every club offers a 3 to 4 week trial for new players, usually for around $50, way cheaper than the $1,000+ full season fee for entry teams. That lets your kid test it out without you sinking a ton of money if they decide they hate it. If Lila had quit after the first week, we could have walked away with no hard feelings and no major loss.
Second, ask the club specific questions before you sign. Instead of just asking how many tournaments they attend, ask what their playing time policy is for development teams. The club we chose guarantees every kid plays at least half of every set in tournaments, which matters a lot for new players. No one wants to pay fees and drive an hour just to sit on the bench all day. It’s also fine to ask about cost breakdowns upfront—some clubs hide travel and uniform fees until after you sign, so getting it all out in the open early saves headaches later.
Third, shift what you ask after practices and games. I stopped asking “did you win?” or “did you play well?” the first month, and I started asking “what’s the silliest thing that happened today?” or “who did you sit next to on the bench?” That takes the pressure off performance right away, which keeps it fun when they’re just starting out. When Lila only played one set at her first tournament, I didn’t offer empty comfort like “it’s okay, you’ll do better next time.” I just asked “what did you notice about how the other girls played that you want to try?” It keeps the focus on learning, not winning.
We’ve worked out small adjustments to fit it into our routine too. I work full time, so I picked a club that practices 10 minutes from my office, so I can pick Lila up straight from practice on my way home instead of driving across town. We have a hard rule that all homework due the next day gets done before practice, so we never have to cram it at 9 p.m. after we get home. For this first season, we only signed up for tournaments within two hours of home, no overnights, which cuts down on cost and time away from school and other activities.
It’s not all perfect. We still fight about getting up 20 minutes early on tournament weekends to get there on time. We still spend more on gas and snack bar Cheetos than I expected. Lila mentioned last week that she might want to quit after this season to join the after-school art club she’s been eyeing, and that’s fine. I don’t have any dreams of a volleyball scholarship. I just wanted her to have something she does that’s hers, outside of school and homework and family chores. So far, that’s exactly what she got. This weekend we’re heading to another tournament, and I already packed extra hot cocoa, just in case I spill it again.
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