How to Help Your Teen Explore Different Career Paths (Without Pushing Your Own Plans)
I was folding warm laundry from the dryer last Sunday, my 16-year-old Mia slouched on the couch beside me scrolling her phone, when I asked how the school career fair went the day before. She paused, thumb hovering over the screen, and said “I don’t think I want to do pre-med anymore.” The dryer rumbled on, and I dropped the pair of my husband’s work socks I was holding. For six months, I’d casually mentioned how much she’d liked her summer volunteer gig at my sister’s doctor’s office, how good her grades were in biology. I’d never said she had to be a doctor, but I’d definitely let the idea hang there like it was the obvious end goal.
“Who did you talk to that caught your eye?” I asked, after I picked the socks back up. She said the zookeeper from the city zoo, and the graphic designer who makes signs for the state park system. “The zookeeper said she gets to train the new otters and do education events for kids,” Mia said, twisting the hem of her cat-printed hoodie. “I didn’t even know that job existed before today.” I almost said “But you’re so good at bio, why waste that?” but the words caught in my throat. I remembered that workshop I’d gone to at the high school back in September, the one the guidance counselor put on for parents about career prep.
She said most of us have this wrong idea that career exploration is about picking one thing and sticking to it by junior year. She said for most teens, it’s just about trying tiny bits of things to see what fits, and what doesn’t. That struck me because I’d always thought any exploration had to lead somewhere—if you spend a day shadowing someone, you have to come out wanting to do that job. Otherwise it’s a waste of time.
We started small, no big plans. First, Mia found a zookeeper from the city zoo who posts behind-the-scenes reels on Instagram. I helped her draft a short message asking if she’d answer 10 questions about her job over DM. She answered that night. Turns out she got her start doing part-time education events while she was in college, didn’t even go to a fancy vet program. Then we saw the zoo was looking for teen volunteers to help with their weekend education programs one Saturday a month. It’s just helping set up craft tables, hold the bio fact cards for kids to read, help clean up after events. It’s not an internship, it doesn’t count for any school credit, it’s just four hours a month. She signed up.
For the graphic design thing, I remembered our next door neighbor does branding for local coffee shops, so I knocked on her door and asked if Mia could sit in on one of her client calls just to watch. She said yes, no questions asked. Mia went over on a Tuesday evening for two hours, came home and said that was definitely not for her. “She had to change the shade of brown on a coffee shop logo seven times because the owner didn’t like it,” Mia said. “I’d get so mad I’d throw my laptop out the window.” I laughed, and at first I thought that was a wasted two hours, but then I realized it wasn’t. She learned something useful: she hates endless, nitpicky feedback on creative work. That’s way more information than any career quiz online could give her.
I’ve started changing the questions I ask her now, instead of the old “What do you want to be when you grow up?” That question is terrible, it makes kids feel like they have to have a perfect answer ready, or they’re failing. Now I ask “What was the most interesting thing you did this week?” or “Have you seen any job lately that you never thought about before?” Last month she told me she thought the people who test video game sound effects had the coolest job she’d ever seen. I didn’t panic that she’d throw away all her biology grades, I just asked her what about it sounded cool. She said it sounded like you get to mess around all day and try new things. That’s it, that’s a data point.
Most people think you have to arrange big internships or pay for expensive summer programs to help your kid explore. You don’t. A 15 minute Zoom call with someone who does the job they’re curious about. A one-off volunteer shift. Sitting in on a two hour meeting with a neighbor. Those small experiences don’t take much time, don’t cost much money, and they’re way more useful than any online career assessment. And the best part is, if your kid hates it, it’s no big loss. You don’t have to quit a 10 week program, you just don’t go back. It’s also okay to celebrate when your kid rules something out. Ruling out options is just as important as finding one you like, it saves time and money down the line.
Last week, we drove through the drive-thru for ice cream after her zoo volunteer shift. She had hay in her hair and she was talking about how the baby otter stole a granola bar out of her backpack that day. She said she thinks she might want to do animal education for a living, combine the biology she likes with talking to kids. But she also said she’s going to go sit in on a college environmental science lecture next month with her cousin, just to see what that’s like. And if she changes her mind again next year, that’s fine.
I still catch myself sometimes wondering if she should be more focused, if we’re doing enough to get her ready for college applications. But then I remember when I was her age, I was dead set on being a high school English teacher, did a week of student teaching, realized I hated waking up before 7 a.m. more than anything. That week of hating early mornings saved me three years of classes I didn’t want to take, and thousands of dollars in student loans. Exploring doesn’t mean you have to have it figured out. It just means you’re collecting little bits of information, one otter granola bar theft at a time. We’re still figuring it out, and that’s okay.
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