How to help your child learn efficiently in online school: practical tips from a parent who’s been there
Last October, I leaned against the doorframe of my 10-year-old son Jake’s bedroom, folding a stray hoodie, and watched his 5th grade Zoom class for three full minutes. His camera was on, his teacher was reviewing algebra problems at the front of the screen, but Jake’s eyes were locked on the half of his laptop screen hidden from the teacher’s view: a half-built Minecraft castle, with a creeper creeping toward the front gate. When Ms. Henderson called Jake’s name to answer the next problem, he didn’t even flinch. I had to clear my throat loudly from the door before he jumped, fumbled to close the tab, and mumbled that he didn’t know the answer.
After class, we talked. He didn’t even lie, just shrugged and crumbled a Goldfish cracker into his bed sheets. “I know I’m supposed to pay attention,” he said. “It’s just boring sitting here, and it’s right there.” I’d been there. Three semesters of hybrid school, and I’d tried everything: sitting next to his desk the whole class period to nag him, taking away all electronics after school, even banning snacks from his desk to cut down on mess and distraction. Nothing stuck. Half the time, we both ended up frustrated, and he still turned in half his assignments blank.
I brought it up at Jake’s parent-teacher conference that month, and Ms. Henderson said she saw the same thing with almost half her online students. It wasn’t that they didn’t care, or that they were lazy. It was that online learning throws every little distraction we have at home right in their laps, and we expect them to just ignore it all on their own. That’s when I stopped trying to fix Jake’s motivation and started fixing the environment around him, with tiny, 2-minute changes that ended up making a huge difference.
First, we got rid of all extra screens before class even starts. Now, 5 minutes before first period, Jake drops his phone and his iPad in a woven basket that sits by our front door, all the way across the house from his room. No exceptions, even if he says he needs it for music class. If he actually needs a second device for an assignment, he asks me to get it for him during the break. We also close every extra tab on his school laptop together every morning, and turn off all non-school notifications. I used to think it was his job to remember that, but it takes me 30 seconds to check, and it cuts out 90% of the pop-ups and alerts that pull his eyes away from the lesson.
Next, we adjusted his desk to cut down on invisible distractions. We used to have his desk facing the window, so he could watch the neighbor’s dog run back and forth all class. Now we turned it so his back is to the window and the bed, and the only thing in front of him is the laptop and his notebook. He can only keep three things on his desk during class: the notebook for that period, a pencil, and a water bottle. One small stress ball is allowed for fidgeting, but anything bigger – Lego sets, fidget spinners, comic books – gets stacked on his shelf out of reach. It sounds strict, but he told me after a week that it was easier to focus when he didn’t have 10 other things staring at him from the desk.
Then, we built movement breaks in between every class. Most online elementary classes run 40 to 45 minutes, so there’s usually a 10 to 15 minute gap between periods. I used to let Jake stay at his desk to “finish up notes” or “rest,” which almost always meant he pulled up a game and lost track of time before the next class started. Now, the rule is he has to get out of his chair and leave his room for at least 5 minutes between every class. He can bounce a basketball down the hallway, get a snack, pet the dog, whatever – he just can’t sit and scroll. It gets his blood moving, and it resets his brain for the next lesson, instead of letting him get pulled into a game mid-day.
It’s been three months since we put these small routines in place, and the difference is shocking. Ms. Henderson told me last week that Jake participated in class 8 times last week, up from 1 or 2 when we started. He hasn’t missed an assignment deadline in six weeks, and I don’t stand outside his door spying on him every class anymore. I still check in once a period, but that’s it.
We still have bad days, of course. Last week, he forgot to put his phone in the basket, and he spent the whole science class texting his friend about a new skatepark. I didn’t take away his screen time for a week or yell. We just put the phone in the basket after class, and reminded him of the routine the next morning. It’s not about being perfect.
I used to think efficient online learning meant my kid had to be disciplined, or I had to be a full-time helper at home. Turns out, it’s just about removing all the little distractions that add up, and building small habits that don’t take a ton of work from anyone. Most of the changes we made took less than 10 minutes total to set up, and only a minute a day to maintain. We’ll probably tweak the routine again when he starts middle school next year, and we’ll have bad days again. But right now, this works well enough: he’s learning, I’m not spending all day nagging, and we both have more energy for the stuff that matters after class is done.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » How to help your child learn efficiently in online school: practical tips from a parent who’s been there