It is completely normal for a 1-year-old child to go through a phase of separation anxiety. It is a sign that your child is developing a healthy attachment to you and is beginning to understand the concept of object permanence, or the idea that objects and people continue to exist even when they are out of sight. This phase can be difficult for parents, especially if one parent has been doing the majority of the childcare.
It sounds like your husband is upset that your daughter was upset while you were out running errands and he had to cope with her crying alone. It is understandable that he would feel overwhelmed and frustrated in this situation. However, it is important to recognize that your husband’s reaction to your daughter’s crying may be contributing to the problem. If he consistently responds to her crying by walking away or giving her a dummy, it can teach her that crying is not an effective way to get attention or have her needs met.
Instead, it is important to validate your daughter’s feelings and try to understand what she is trying to communicate through her crying. This can be done by acknowledging her emotions, offering comfort, and trying to meet her needs. For example, you could say, “I can tell you’re feeling upset. It’s okay to cry. I’m here for you.” By responding in this way, you are helping your daughter to learn how to regulate her emotions and communicate her needs effectively.
It may also be helpful for you and your husband to discuss your parenting styles and come up with a plan for how to respond to your daughter’s separation anxiety. It could be helpful for both of you to be more present and attentive when your daughter is upset, rather than reacting by walking away or giving her a dummy. You could also try gradually increasing the amount of time that you are away from your daughter, starting with short absences and gradually increasing the length as she becomes more comfortable. This can help her to learn that you will come back and that she is safe even when you are not with her.
It is also important to set boundaries for yourself and make time for self-care. It is natural to want to be with your child all the time, especially when they are going through a difficult phase, but it is also important to take care of yourself. It is okay to take breaks and do things that you enjoy, as long as your child is safe and well cared for.
The clingy baby stage is a normal and developmentally appropriate phase that many 1-year-olds go through. It is important to validate your daughter’s emotions and try to understand what she is trying to communicate through her crying. It may also be helpful for you and your husband to discuss your parenting styles and come up with a plan for how to respond to your daughter’s separation anxiety. It is also important to set boundaries for yourself and make time for self-care. With patience, understanding, and consistent care, your daughter will eventually outgrow this phase and learn to regulate her emotions and cope with separation.