Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What Works For Parents and Caregivers
Last month I was wiping sand off my sneaker at the neighborhood playground when my 5-year-old, Milo, trotted over with a half-eaten Goldfish cracker sticking out of his cheek and asked, “Why is Javi’s skin a different color than mine?”
I froze. I knew I didn’t want to brush the question off, or say “it doesn’t matter” because that felt wrong—he’d already noticed, so pretending difference didn’t exist would only teach him it’s something too scary to talk about. I also knew I couldn’t launch into a conversation about structural inequity or implicit bias; this is a kid who still can’t remember to put his underwear on the right way half the time. So I mumbled something about how we all have different colored skin just like we have different colored hair, and promised we’d read a book about it that night.
That night I sat down at my laptop and searched “anti-racism resources for 5 year old” and what came up was a mess. A lot of lists of books for middle graders, a lot of essays explaining why teaching anti-racism early matters, but almost nothing that told me what would actually hold a 5 year old’s attention, that didn’t require me to turn bedtime story into a graduate-level lecture. I tried one board book a friend recommended that spent three pages explaining how people have been treated unfairly because of their skin color, and by page two Milo was asking for a chocolate chip cookie and climbing off my lap. Another one told me we’re all the same on the inside, which felt like a lie—he just asked why we’re different, why would I pretend we’re not?
I texted my old roommate who teaches pre-K, and she gave me a few specific recommendations, and I started testing them out. Over the past month, I’ve found a handful of things that actually work, that don’t take a lot of extra time or cost a lot of money.
The first books that stuck with Milo are simple, playful, and never try to cram too much into one story. The first is The Skin You Live In. It rhymes, it has big, bright pictures of kids with every shade of skin from pale pink to deep brown, and it never gets heavy. It compares skin to your favorite shirt—something that fits you, that’s yours, that’s beautiful. After we read it the first time, Milo ran around the house holding his arm up next to mine, my husband’s, even our tabby cat’s orange fur, pointing out all the different shades. That’s exactly what I wanted him to do: notice difference, and see it as something neutral, even nice, not something to ignore or be scared of. The other book we reach for again and again is Last Stop on Market Street. It’s a story about a kid riding the bus with his grandma, and he notices all the different people on the bus, and how some people have different things than he does, but everyone has something to give. It doesn’t yell about racism, it just shows a diverse world, and that’s enough for a 5 year old.
It’s not just books, either. I realized resources don’t have to be formal lesson plans or expensive programs. I looked through our bin of puzzles and coloring books one rainy Saturday and noticed every person on every page had the same pale skin tone. So I ordered a $12 wooden puzzle from Target that has 12 different kids from all different backgrounds, and we do it after breakfast twice a week. Milo now points out that the girl with the long braids looks like his classmate Zoe, who’s Black. It’s such a small thing, but it normalizes seeing different people in his everyday play, instead of only seeing people who look like him. For screen time, I found that Sesame Street has short 2-3 minute clips about race and difference that are perfect. There’s one where Elmo talks to a Black doctor about why skin comes in different colors, and it’s just simple, friendly, no confusing jargon. Milo asks to watch it sometimes when he’s waiting for dinner, and that’s way better than most of the mindless content he usually picks out.
Last week, Javi came over for a playdate, and they were sitting at the kitchen table kneading playdough for monsters. I was washing dishes, and I heard Milo say, “I’m making brown playdough for your skin, Javi. It’s my favorite color.” I almost dropped the plate I was holding. It wasn’t something I made him say, it wasn’t a forced lesson. It just came naturally, from all the small, consistent exposure we’ve had over the past month.
I’ve learned that for 5 year olds, the right anti-racism resources are small, simple, and meet them where they are developmentally. They don’t need to understand systemic injustice yet. What they do need is to feel okay asking questions about difference, to see people of all backgrounds represented in the things they read and play with every day, and to learn that being kind means including everyone. I still mess up sometimes. Two days ago, Milo asked why Javi’s mom speaks Spanish when she talks to Javi, and I fumbled through an answer before I remembered we could watch that little Sesame Street clip about different languages after dinner. We still have a lot of hard conversations ahead as he gets older, and I don’t expect this small set of resources to be all we’ll ever need. But right now, for 5-year-old Milo who just wants to play with his friend and ask questions about the world he sees, these small, simple resources work better than any heavy lecture or overly academic book I ever found online.
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