Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: Practical, Tested Ideas for Caregivers
Last month, my 5-year-old Lila dumped her cheddar goldfish all over the kitchen table half an hour after preschool, wiped crumbs off her sleeve, and blurted, “Ms. Rosa said skin comes in different colors like crayons. Why is that bad?” I froze mid-sip of my cold coffee. I’d known I wanted to talk about fairness and difference with her from the start, but suddenly I was fumbling. I pulled out my phone and typed the exact question I’d been turning over for weeks: anti-racism resources for 5 year old. What came up was a mess: dense discussion guides meant for high schoolers, board books that were so watered down they might as well have said nothing, and thinkpieces telling me I was failing my kid if I hadn’t started “critical conversations” before age 3. I’d gone into this looking for a clear answer, and all I got was overwhelm.
I spent three nights scrolling after Lila went to bed, checked out every recommendation I saw, tested half of them with her over the next month, and sorted out what actually lands for a kid who still thinks the moon follows her home and asks for extra sprinkles on everything. The first resource I tried was that super popular board book about skin color everyone posts about on Instagram. Lila flipped through it in two minutes, pointed at the picture of kids holding hands, and asked if we could get out the playdough. It didn’t connect. Next I tried a crayon-sorting activity I found on a teacher blog, where you match crayons to different skin tones. Lila sorted them into rainbow order, drew a dinosaur, and forgot the whole point 10 minutes later. I started to think I was doing this all wrong.
Then I called my sister, who’s a preschool teacher, and she said something that clicked: 5 year olds don’t think in abstract ideas. They don’t need to learn about complex policy or history right now. They need concrete, simple stuff that fits the questions they’re actually asking. They notice difference, so don’t pretend you don’t see it. They care about fairness and being left out, so meet them there.
The first thing that actually landed was the fruit comparison, which I’d seen mentioned in one small comment on a parent forum, not even a big curated resource. We were cutting up peaches for snack one day, and Lila said my peach was lighter than hers. I said, “You know how both of these are peaches, right? They taste sweet, they’re both peaches, just different shades on the outside. People are like that too. All people are people, just different shades of skin on the outside. That’s okay, and it’s normal to notice.” She stared at the peaches for a second, then took a bite and said, “Yeah, my peach is better anyway.” That was it, no big speech, but it stuck. A week later, when she asked why our neighbor Javi’s skin is darker than mine, she answered her own question: “Like peaches, right?”
I ended up with two go-to books that don’t feel like lessons, which is the key for 5 year olds. Last Stop on Market Street is about a kid riding the bus with his grandma, and it’s full of diverse people, talking about finding joy in all kinds of places. Lila asks questions about the characters all the time, and we just talk about how all kinds of people live in every neighborhood, that’s normal. The other is The Snowy Day, which is just a story about a little Black boy playing in the snow after a storm. No big moral, no big lesson, just a kid having fun, building a snowman, getting tired and going home. It’s so simple, but it means Lila gets to see a kid who looks different from her having the same kind of fun she does. That’s anti-racism for a 5 year old, right there – normalizing difference instead of acting like it doesn’t exist.
Other small, low-effort resources have worked better than any fancy curriculum I saw advertised. I looked through Lila’s doll bin a while back and realized every single one of her dolls had pale skin and blond hair. I ordered a $12 multiracial doll set from Target, nothing fancy, just two dolls with different skin tones and hair textures. Now Lila brushes both of their hair and brings them to the park, and it’s just normal. It didn’t cost much, it didn’t take any planning, just a small change to the toys she plays with every day.
I also stopped shushing her when she points out difference in public. Before, if she pointed out someone’s different skin color or hair or head wrap, I’d elbow her and whisper don’t say that, which made her think it was a bad thing to talk about. Now I just say whatever is true: “That’s a really pretty blue head wrap, isn’t it?” or “Her hair is really long and curly, that looks so fun.” It’s that simple. It normalizes talking about difference instead of making it a taboo.
Two weeks ago, at the playground, a little boy refused to let Javi join their soccer game, saying he “didn’t want to play with someone who looks different.” Before I could even walk over, Lila marched right up, grabbed the soccer ball, and said “He can play! All people get to play no matter what their skin color is.” I stood there with my iced coffee, surprised. It wasn’t from some big curriculum I bought, it was from all those small, 2-minute conversations over peaches and story time and dolls.
I still don’t have all the answers. Last week, Lila asked why that little boy was mean to Javi, and I didn’t have a simple, 5-year-old-friendly explanation. I just said “Some people haven’t learned that all people are equal, no matter what they look like, and we’re going to keep including everyone, no matter what.” I’m still looking for new resources, still messing up, still adjusting as Lila gets older and asks harder questions. Right now, though, the best resources aren’t the fancy expensive packages or the viral books that don’t land. They’re the small, everyday things that meet a 5 year old where they are – talking about fruit, reading simple stories, adding a doll to the bin, and standing up for your friends when it matters. That’s enough for right now.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: Practical, Tested Ideas for Caregivers