Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: Practical, Kid-Appropriate Ideas I Tested
I was wiping crumbs off my jeans from the cheese crackers I’d stuffed in my jacket pocket at the neighborhood playground last month, when my 5-year-old daughter Lila stepped back from the slide, pointed across the wood chips, and asked loud enough for three nearby parents to turn around: “Mom, why is that lady’s skin brown like my teddy bear and yours is pale like our vanilla ice cream?”
I froze. I’d known this question was coming, but every resource I’d bookmarked felt like it was for kids twice Lila’s age. I’d seen thinkpieces demanding parents talk about systemic racism by age 4, but the 5-year-old brain I live with still thinks broccoli is a personal attack and that the moon follows her car. Big abstract terms don’t land. I went home that night determined to find actual, usable anti-racism resources that fit where my kid is right now—not where parenting blogs say she should be.
Most of what came up first was useless. One popular book I clicked on had illustrations of police dogs attacking protestors, which would have given Lila nightmares for a month. Another set of resources leaned hard on the “we’re all the same on the inside” line, which felt wrong to me—Lila can already see that people look different. Pretending we don’t notice just makes her think difference is something bad to be quiet about. I asked my cousin, who teaches pre-K at a local public school, for recommendations, and started testing everything she suggested over the next three weeks.
First, the good books that actually work for 5-year-olds. The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler is my top pick. It rhymes, it’s short, and it focuses on exactly what a 5-year-old cares about: kids playing, jumping, and being friends. It celebrates different skin shades without dragging in heavy history that’s too much for little kids. Lila asks to read it before bed at least once a week, and her favorite part is pointing out which shade matches her hand and which matches her best friend Mia’s. The second book that stuck is Hair Love by Matthew Cherry. It’s a sweet, simple story about a dad learning to style his Black daughter’s curly hair. There’s no big lesson about injustice, just an ordinary family doing ordinary things. That’s exactly what little kids need—seeing people of all backgrounds as regular people, not just subjects of a lesson on racism.
What surprised me most was that the most effective “resources” aren’t books at all. They’re tiny, cheap changes to Lila’s daily environment that cost less than $20 total and require zero lesson plans. I threw out my old 8-pack of crayons that only had one “skin color” (that sad, pale peach shade) and bought a 12-pack of multi-cultural skin tone crayons for $3. Now when Lila draws portraits of her friends and family, everyone actually looks like themselves, instead of everyone having the same pale pink skin. I swapped out her old set of block town play figures—all default white, all default male for jobs like doctor and firefighter—for a $12 set of diverse figures that has Black, Latinx, and Asian women working as construction workers, teachers, and nurses. Last week I watched her set up a hospital in her block town and give the Black female doctor figure a stethoscope to fix her teddy’s sore throat. I didn’t have to say a word. It just was.
I also stopped overcomplicating answers to questions. Early on, I thought I had to give a full explanation every time Lila asked something about difference. Now I just keep it simple and age-appropriate. When she asked why her friend’s mom wears a head covering to church, I said “Some people wear that because it’s part of their religion, and it makes them feel happy and connected to their family.” That’s it. I don’t add more unless she asks. 5-year-olds don’t need to understand the history of systemic oppression to be kind. Right now, the work is just helping them get comfortable talking about difference, and learning that difference is normal, not scary or taboo.
I tried one $30 activity kit I saw advertised on Instagram, with worksheets and flash cards about racism, and it was a total waste. Lila just peeled all the stickers off and ate one (don’t judge, 5-year-olds do that). I also found that free, everyday resources work just as well as anything you buy. Sesame Street has tons of 2-minute clips on YouTube about different families and different skin colors that Lila watches while I stir pasta for dinner. I started mixing in music by Black and brown artists into our car rides instead of just the same old kids’ CDs—Lila is obsessed with dancing to Lizzo on the way to preschool, and that’s it, just another normal part of our day. That’s anti-racism for a 5-year-old, right? Normalizing all kinds of people before you ever get into talking about unfairness.
I still don’t have it all figured out. Last week Lila asked why the new boy in her class doesn’t bring a packed lunch like the rest of the kids, and I told her some families buy lunch at school and some bring it from home, which is true enough for right now. I know as she gets older, I’ll have to answer harder questions and find more resources that meet her where she is. For now, though, what’s working is small, simple stuff. You don’t need a shelf full of expensive books or special training to do this work with your 5-year-old. You just need to answer their questions honestly, keep it simple, and make sure the little world they live in every day has room for all kinds of people. That’s enough for this stage.
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