Age-Appropriate Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: What I Tried That Actually Works
It was 90 degrees last June, my 5-year-old son Leo’s popsicle was dripping sticky blue juice down his wrist, and we were hiding from the sun under the playground’s splintered wooden awning when it happened. A little girl with the same blue popsicle ran past chasing a butterfly, and Leo stopped mid-bite, squinted, and asked, loud enough for her dad to turn and look, “Why is her skin darker than mine?”
I mumbled something quick about how everyone’s skin is different, just like everyone has different colored hair and different favorite snacks, and played it off, but as soon as we got home and Leo napped, I pulled out my laptop. I knew that answer was fine for the moment, but I needed actual resources to talk about this stuff that made sense for a 5 year old. All the anti-racism reading lists I’d seen were for middle schoolers or adults, and I had no idea where to start for a kid who still can’t sit through a 10-page picture book without wiggling.
I scrolled through a dozen blog posts first, and ordered a well-reviewed book about the civil rights movement that showed up on every list. I sat down to read it with Leo that night, and by page three, he was asking why the man wouldn’t let the little girl drink from the water fountain. I tried to explain unfairness, and he got quiet, then asked if that would happen to his friend Javi, who lives down the street. I realized right then that this was too much. 5 year olds think in terms of their own playground, their own friends, their own snack time. Big, historical injustices don’t make sense to them yet, and they just end up confused or scared. That’s the first thing I learned: age-appropriate doesn’t mean “dumbing it down”, it means meeting them where they are.
I called my sister, who teaches pre-K at a local public school, and asked her what she uses in her classroom. She sent over a short list of small, simple resources, most of them super cheap or free, that were made specifically for kids 4 to 6 years old. First up were picture books, and the two that have worked best for us are The Skin You Live In and Last Stop on Market Street. The Skin You Live In is short, rhymes, talks about skin like the suit you wear to walk around in the world, and shows all different kids with all different skin colors playing, eating, climbing trees. No big speeches, no sad parts, just normal kid stuff. Leo asks to read it once a week, just because he likes the pictures of the kids on the monkey bars. Last Stop on Market Street follows a kid riding the bus with his grandma, and touches on difference and community without making a big deal out of it. The story is fun enough that Leo doesn’t realize he’s learning anything, which is perfect. I also tried the board book version of Antiracist Baby, and that works for us too – the short, silly lines get his attention, even if some of the ideas are a little over his head.
Beyond books, there are so many good free resources out there that don’t require any fancy supplies. Sesame Street has a whole series of 2-minute YouTube clips talking about race and difference for little kids. I showed Leo the one where Elmo asks a Black dermatologist why people have different skin colors. She explains melanin simply, like it’s a little shield that gives your skin its color, and some people have more than others, just like some people have curly hair and some have straight. Leo watched it once, said “oh, okay”, and went back to building his block tower. No big emotional conversation needed, just answered the question he had back at the playground.
My sister also sent me a free one-page activity sheet called “Match Your Skin Tone” that you can print at home for free. All it is is a set of blank outlines of crayons that you color in different skin tones, then your kid matches them to their own hand, your hand, their friends’ hands in family photos. Leo spent 20 minutes doing this the day I printed it, running around the house holding his crayon up to every person’s arm he could find. He ended up deciding my skin matches the “tan” crayon, his matches “peach”, and our neighbor Mr. Lee’s matches “dark brown” which is also the best crayon for drawing chocolate chip cookies. It was just a fun activity, but it gave him a chance to talk about difference in a casual way, without it being a big scary lesson.
I did try one expensive $30 anti-racism activity kit I saw advertised on Instagram, and that was a total flop. It had all these fancy craft supplies and a 20-page guide, and Leo got bored after five minutes of gluing paper people and went back to his dinosaur toys. You don’t need to spend a lot of money to get good resources for a 5 year old. Most of the things that worked for us are under $15 for a book, or completely free online.
The biggest thing I realized after all this searching is that for 5 year olds, anti-racism resources don’t need to solve all the world’s problems. They just need to give your kid the words to talk about what they already notice. Kids see difference when they’re little; if you don’t talk about it, they get the idea that it’s something you can’t ask about, which makes difference feel weird or wrong instead of just normal.
Last week, we had that same little girl Mia over for a playdate. Leo pulled out his skin tone matching sheet and asked her to match her skin right away. She matched hers to the milk chocolate brown crayon, they both laughed that it was the same color as their vanilla ice cream with sprinkles, and then ran off to play tag. I still don’t have all the answers. When we passed a man yelling a racist comment on the street last month, I didn’t pull out a book or a worksheet – I just held Leo’s hand tighter and told him that what that man said was wrong, and that no one should talk to anyone that way. As he gets older, we’ll move on to harder books, harder conversations, more complex resources. Right now, though, these simple, low-key resources are working. We’re not fixing everything overnight, we’re just giving him the words to ask the questions he has, and that’s enough for now.
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