When your kid worries: Will people make fun of my clothes and are long skirts impractical for school?
The morning bell just rang, the classroom still smelled like the cinnamon candle our room parent dropped off Friday, and Lila was hovering by my desk instead of heading to her seat like everyone else. She was twisting the hem of a cream linen skirt peeking out of her backpack, staring at the scuff on my shoe, and finally mumbled the question she’d been working up the courage to ask all week: “Would I get made fun of for wearing clothes like these? And… would the long skirt be impractical for recess?”
Lila’s a 5th grader, new to our school this year, and she’d spent the whole month before this talking about the long linen skirts she saw on a craft TikTok. She’d gone thrifting with her grandma that past weekend, came home with three of them, and her mom emailed me Sunday night saying she’d been pacing the living room trying to work up the nerve to wear one to school.
I didn’t jump to give her a pep talk. I’ve been teaching upper elementary for 12 years, and I know pep talks don’t fix this kind of worry. Instead I glanced at the clock, we had 7 minutes before we started morning work, so I said “Let’s check the impractical part first, okay?”
We walked out to the playground, which was still mostly empty except for a couple kids throwing a football. I told her to climb the ladders to the slide, hang from the monkey bars, do that cartwheel she’s always practicing on the blacktop. She did, grinning the whole time, and when she landed the cartwheel the skirt only shifted a little, no riding up, no tangling. “See?” I said. “It works for cartwheels, it works for anything.”
Then the getting made fun of part. I didn’t tell her no one would say anything. That’s a lie, and 5th graders can smell a lie faster than anything. I told her last year, another girl in my class wore full-length denim overalls every single day for a whole semester. A couple boys teased her the first two days, called her a farmer, and then it just became normal. No one thought about it after that. Then I told her the most important part: I keep a bin of clean extra clothes in the back closet—sweatpants, t-shirts, hoodies, all neutral sizes anyone can borrow. If someone says something that bothers her, or the skirt does end up being uncomfortable, she can come change any time, no questions, no explanation needed. She just has to tell me.
She nodded, went into the bathroom, changed into the skirt, and came back to class. Ten minutes into morning work, a boy sitting behind her leaned over and said “That’s a really long skirt, it looks like a bed sheet.” Lila didn’t shrink, didn’t get upset. She just turned around and said “It’s linen, it’s not hot. I like it.” And that was it. He turned back around, didn’t say anything else. By recess, three other girls had crowded around her desk to ask where she got it, because they’d been looking for longer skirts for church and family dinners and couldn’t find any that weren’t crazy expensive.
That’s when I started thinking about how many parents and caregivers get this question wrong, one way or another. Some dismiss it: “It’s just clothes, why does it matter what anyone thinks?” Others panic, immediately start calling the school to ask how we’ll stop teasing before the kid even puts the skirt on. Most of the time, this question isn’t really about clothes or teasing. It’s about a kid testing out a version of themselves that’s not the one everyone’s already used to. They’re figuring out what they like, separate from what their friends wear, separate from what you pick out for them at the store. It’s one of the first small steps to building their own identity.
The practical stuff I’ve learned works, from doing this a hundred times, is pretty simple. First, if they’re worried about practicality, let them test it. Don’t just tell them a long skirt will get caught on the playground or be too hot or get dirty. Go to the backyard before school, have them climb the jungle gym, ride their bike, sit cross-legged on the floor for 10 minutes. Let them see for themselves if it works. If it doesn’t, they’ll change their mind on their own, instead of resenting you for talking them out of something they wanted to try.
Second, don’t lie about teasing. If you say “no one will make fun of you” and someone does, your kid won’t come to you next time they’re worried about something. Instead, acknowledge that it could happen, then give them a concrete safety net. Keep a backup outfit in their backpack, let them know you’ll come pick them up from school or bring a change of clothes no questions asked if they want it. If you’re a teacher, keep that extra bin of clothes like I do. It gets used all the time, for everything from spilled milk to bad outfit days to kids who just don’t want to wear what they came in that day.
A week after Lila’s first skirt day, she wore a floor-length flowy one that she’d hemmed herself with fabric tape. Halfway through reading circle, she stood up to get a book and tripped over the hem. She laughed, brushed herself off, and came to me to borrow the sweatpants. She wore the skirt to her grandma’s house the next weekend, where there’s no playground to run around on, and it worked fine.
Now, two months later, Lila wears a long skirt two or three times a week. Some weeks she sticks to joggers and graphic tees, same as everyone else. A couple other girls in the class started wearing longer skirts too, after seeing Lila wear them. I still get that question every few weeks, from different kids. Last week it was a 4th grade boy who wanted to wear a blue satin skirt to our fall party. We did the same thing: tested the monkey bars, showed him where the extra clothes are. He wore it, it went fine.
There’s no big perfect ending to this. Sometimes kids get teased, sometimes clothes don’t work out the way they hope. But most of the time, all they need is a little space to test what they want, and a safe out if it doesn’t go right. That’s enough.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » When your kid worries: Will people make fun of my clothes and are long skirts impractical for school