Anti-Racism Resources for 5 Year Olds: Practical, Age-Appropriate Ideas I Tried
Last month, I sat on a splintered wooden bench at my 5-year-old son Leo’s preschool playground, splitting a pack of cheddar Goldfish between him and my 2-year-old daughter, when Leo pointed across the sandbox and said, loud enough for the whole play area to hear: “Mom, why does that girl’s hair look different than mine?” I froze mid-cracker. I knew I didn’t want to shush him or brush the question off, but I also had no idea how to answer it in a way that made sense for a kid who still thinks 10 minutes is an hour and is convinced our mailman lives in the mailbox. That night, I typed “anti-racism resources for 5 year olds” into Google, and that’s where the trouble started.
Most of what came up was either far too advanced for a kindergartener, or so vague it might as well have not existed. I found dense articles for parents talking about systemic racism, graphic picture books about the civil rights movement with images of protest violence, and thinkpieces that told me I “needed to start early” but didn’t tell me how. A friend recommended a well-known children’s book about segregation that I ordered, and when it came I flipped through it before reading to Leo, and realized it was way too much. He still asks why we have to leave the park when it rains; he can’t understand why adults would stop kids from playing just because of their skin color. I put that one on the top shelf of my closet, out of sight.
I joined a local parent group to ask for recommendations, sifted through dozens of suggestions, and spent a month testing out resources with Leo to see what actually stuck. What I learned first is that 5 year olds don’t need big, heavy lessons about injustice. They’re concrete thinkers—they notice what’s right in front of them, they care about their friends, about who gets to play tag, about what snack they get after school. So resources need to meet them there, not drag them into topics their brains aren’t ready to process.
First, the books that actually worked. The first one I found that stuck is The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler. It rhymes, it’s bright, it just talks about all different shades of skin, and how all of us do the same kid stuff: climb trees, get ice cream, hug our parents. No heavy history, no confusing words. Leo asks to read it once a week, and last time we read it he pointed to a page with a dark brown skin tone and said “That’s Mia’s skin!” Mia is his Black best friend at preschool, so that’s exactly the connection we want. The other one that’s a constant hit is Hair Love by Matthew Cherry. It’s just a story of a Black dad learning to do his daughter’s hair for school, it’s funny, it’s sweet, it’s just a normal family story. Leo thinks the part where the dad gets all tangled up in the braids is hilarious, and it normalizes hair that’s different from his straight blond hair without making a big awkward deal out of it.
Then, I found that the best “resources” aren’t even books a lot of the time—they’re small things you add to your daily routine that cost almost nothing. One of Leo’s favorite activities right now is our skin color paint chip game. I went to the local hardware store and grabbed a handful of free paint chips in every shade from pale cream to deep chocolate brown. We spread them out on the kitchen table after dinner, and match them to our own arms, to the people in our books, to Leo’s friends when they come over to play. Leo thinks it’s a game, he runs around the room holding chips up to everyone’s arms yelling “I found a match!” It gets him comfortable talking about difference instead of acting like it’s something we don’t mention. I used to default to “we’re all the same!” when he pointed out difference, but he could see we weren’t, and that just made him think the topic was off-limits. Now I just say “Yep, people have all different shades of skin, just like we have all different shades of eyes. Cool, right?” It’s simple, it’s honest, it’s enough for a 5 year old.
I also swapped out his beat-up 12-piece floor puzzle of farm animals for one that shows 12 kids from all different backgrounds playing on a playground. It’s just a puzzle, we do it together on rainy afternoons, but last week he pointed to a little Black boy wearing a soccer jersey and said “I play soccer too, just like him!” That connection—seeing similarity after noticing difference—is exactly what anti-racism for little kids is all about, right? It’s not about memorizing big words, it’s about seeing that other kids are just like you, even if they look different. We also watch kids shows with diverse casts, and I don’t make a big speech when difference comes up—if Leo mentions that a character’s dad has darker skin than ours, I just nod and agree, that’s it. No fuss, no lesson, just normalizing the conversation.
I still haven’t found everything I need, honestly. Last week, a lady at the grocery store commented on how nice it is that Leo plays with “all kinds of kids” and I just mumbled and smiled and moved on instead of saying something that would reinforce what we’ve been talking about at home. I still overexplain sometimes when I’m nervous, and sometimes I brush off a question when I’m tired and just want to get dinner on the table. This isn’t something I’m going to check off a list by the time Leo turns 6. It’s just small, steady, everyday stuff, and the resources that work are the ones that fit into that routine, not the ones that require a big special lesson. For now, this is enough.
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