Introducing Your Kid to Club Volleyball: What First-Time Parents Need to Know
Last January, I stood in a frost-crusted YMCA parking lot at 6:30 a.m., holding a half-frozen thermos of coffee, waiting for my 12-year-old Lila to emerge from her first club volleyball tryout. She’d spent the 20-minute drive picking at a loose thread on her hoodie, repeating that all the other girls looked like they’d been playing since they were toddlers. When she pushed through the glass doors, her thumbnail was already chewed raw. “I don’t even know if I want to make it,” she said.
I used to think club volleyball was only for two types of families: those with extra cash to burn on out-of-state tournaments and private lessons, or those dead-set on landing a college scholarship. A friend of mine has a daughter who plays top-tier 16U club, and she told me last year she spends close to $10,000 a season on the sport. I’d written club volleyball off entirely as something not for us—we’re a one-income family with two kids, and our biggest annual extracurricular splurge is a week of 4-H camp. But Lila had fallen hard for rec volleyball that fall, and when the season ended, she kept bringing up club. She said she was bored only practicing once a week, that she wanted more chances to play. I caved, signed her up for tryouts for the local entry-level league, mostly just so she’d stop asking.
When the email came that she’d made the B team, I immediately started panicking that I’d overcommitted us. First practice, I sat in the bleachers with a handful of other new parents, listening to one mom talk about hiring a private hitting coach for her 13-year-old, and another already mapping out summer travel plans around national qualifiers. I stuffed my credit card back in my wallet, already mentally calculating how much it would cost to get out of the contract if we needed to. But it turned out a lot of my worries were based on what I’d heard about top-level club, not the entry-level experience most new kids get.
First, the cost: our entry-level team is run through the local parks district, not a private elite academy. We pay $350 for the whole six-month season, that covers court time, a jersey, and all the local tournament entry fees. We only play tournaments one weekend a month, and they’re all within an hour’s drive, so no hotel stays required. That’s my first concrete takeaway: don’t start with the big private elite clubs when your kid is new. Search for “entry-level club volleyball [your area]” or check with your local parks and rec department—most have affordable beginner teams that don’t require a huge time or money commitment. Most also don’t pressure you to do extra private lessons if you don’t want to. Our coach is a 20-year-old DIII college player who works at the YMCA, and she stays 15 minutes after every practice to work with any kid who asks for extra help, no extra charge.
A month into the season, we went to our first tournament. Lila was put in to serve late in the first set, and she shanked her serve so far off the court it hit a water cooler on the sidelines. We lost the set, and I sat there cringing, waiting for her to hang her head and walk off the court like she does when she messes up a test at school. Lila has always hated getting things wrong—when she was 10, she crumpled up a whole math test and refused to turn it in because she got three problems wrong. But this time, before I even had time to frown, her teammate, a quiet girl who plays opposite hitter, slung an arm around her shoulders and said, “I’ll get it back next serve. No big deal.”
That’s the thing no one tells you when you’re thinking about introducing your kid to club volleyball: it’s not really about volleyball, at least not for most new kids. I spent a lot of time trying to teach Lila to be okay with messing up at home. I’d tell her it’s fine to make mistakes, that everyone does. But it never stuck the way it did when a 12-year-old girl who’s just as messy at the sport as she is said it. Three months in, I noticed Lila stopped crumpling her homework when she got answers wrong. Last month, her science fair project broke the night before it was due, and instead of dissolving into tears like she would have six months ago, she grabbed hot glue and rearranged her display. “It’s just like missing a serve,” she told me. “You get another turn.”
There are a few other small, practical things I’ve learned that I wish someone had told me before we started. First, go to the new parent orientation they hold before the season starts. I almost skipped ours because I had to pick my son up from soccer practice, but I rearranged my schedule, and it turned out they go over exactly what gear you actually need. I was ready to drop $120 on custom knee pads and a branded volleyball bag, but they said all you need is basic $15 knee pads, a water bottle, and closed-toe shoes. The club provides the ball and the jersey. Saved me over $100 right there. Second, say this exact phrase to your kid before the season starts: “If you’re having fun even when you play bad, we keep doing it. If you hate it, we quit with no hard feelings.” I said that to Lila after tryouts, and it took all the pressure off. She doesn’t feel like she has to stick with it forever just because we paid the fee. Third, don’t sign up for a team that requires more than two practices a week when you’re starting out. That’s enough time for your kid to improve and have fun, without crowding out other things they like or family time. We still have every other weekend free for camping trips, and my son still makes all his soccer games.
This weekend, we have a tournament an hour and a half away, and Lila forgot to pack her knee pads last night, so we had to run to Target at 8 p.m. She still misses more serves than she makes, and she complains about getting up early on Saturdays sometimes. We still don’t know if she’ll stick with it through high school, or if she’ll quit next year to do the pottery club she’s been talking about. That’s fine with me. I didn’t sign her up to get a scholarship. I just signed her up because she asked to try it. So far, that’s been more than enough.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Introducing Your Kid to Club Volleyball: What First-Time Parents Need to Know