Why New Parents Feel Like Camels Trying to Thread Needles
We’ve all heard the old saying: “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a new parent to avoid being tired or stressed 24/7.” This cheeky twist on a biblical metaphor perfectly captures the universal struggle of raising a baby. But is there truth to this exaggerated comparison, or is it just another parenting myth? Let’s unpack why exhaustion feels like a default setting for moms and dads—and what science says about surviving those early years.
The Origin of the Metaphor (and Why It Fits)
The original phrase—“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God”—appears in the Bible (Matthew 19:24) to emphasize the near-impossible. Over time, the imagery evolved into cultural shorthand for any seemingly unachievable task. Applying it to parenting? Spot-on. Caring for an infant often feels like an endless, Herculean effort. Sleepless nights, constant feedings, and deciphering cries without a manual can leave even the most prepared parents feeling like they’re navigating a maze blindfolded.
Why Babies Are Exhaustion Machines
Infants operate on a rhythm that clashes with adult life. Their tiny stomachs need frequent feeding (every 2–3 hours), their sleep cycles are fragmented, and their communication skills boil down to crying. For parents, this means:
– Sleep deprivation: Newborns wake up 10–12 times a night on average. Even if you “nap when the baby naps,” cumulative sleep loss mimics the cognitive impairment of being drunk.
– Decision fatigue: “Is that cry hunger, discomfort, or gas? Should I swaddle tighter? Is the room too cold?” Constant problem-solving drains mental energy.
– Physical demands: Carrying, rocking, and breastfeeding/pumping strain muscles and joints. One study found new moms walk an extra 1.5 miles daily just tending to their baby.
Add societal pressures to “bounce back” or “enjoy every moment,” and it’s no wonder parents feel like camels lugging emotional and physical baggage through a tiny needle’s eye.
The Science of Parental Burnout
Research confirms that parenting stress isn’t just a feeling—it’s a biological reality. A 2022 study in Pediatrics revealed that 72% of new parents experience chronic fatigue in the first year, with cortisol (the stress hormone) levels spiking during sleep disruptions. Another study found that sleep-deprived parents have a 40% higher risk of developing anxiety or depression.
But here’s the kicker: Humans aren’t evolutionarily wired for solo parenting. In hunter-gatherer societies, communities shared childcare duties. Modern nuclear families, however, often isolate parents, magnifying stress. Even partners splitting duties 50/50 face a workload that’s inherently unbalanced.
The Myth of “Perfect Parenting”
Social media amplifies the pressure. Scrolling through curated feeds of smiling babies and spotless nurseries, it’s easy to feel inadequate. Yet behind those posts? Most parents are in sweatpants, surviving on cold coffee. The dissonance between reality and idealized parenting creates guilt—a useless emotion that saps energy.
As psychologist Dr. Emily Edlynn notes: “Parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up, even when ‘showing up’ means ordering takeout and letting the baby watch sensory videos so you can shower.”
Surviving the Needle’s Eye: Practical Strategies
While total avoidance of fatigue is as likely as that camel slipping through a needle, these approaches can ease the journey:
1. Embrace the “Village” Mentality
– Delegate tasks: Let grandparents handle laundry, hire a postpartum doula, or trade babysitting with friends.
– Join parenting groups: Shared struggles foster camaraderie and practical tips.
2. Lower the Bar
– Prioritize basics: Fed, clean, safe. Everything else is bonus.
– Batch-cook freezer meals, use disposable diapers, and ditch the guilt over screen time.
3. Micro-Recovery
– Ten-minute mindfulness: Breathe deeply during nap time.
– Hydrate and snack: Dehydration and hunger worsen fatigue.
4. Reframe the Narrative
– Instead of “I’m failing,” try “This is temporary, and I’m learning.”
– Celebrate small wins: A full diaper bin means you kept a tiny human alive today.
The Light at the End of the Needle
Yes, parenting a baby often feels impossible. But just as camels adapt to harsh deserts, parents develop resilience they never knew they had. Slowly, babies sleep longer, communicate better, and even laugh at your terrible jokes. The chaos evolves into a rhythm—one that leaves room for joy amid the exhaustion.
As author Bunmi Laditan writes: “You won’t always be this tired. One day, you’ll sleep again. And oddly, you might miss these days when they’re gone.” Until then, remember: You’re not a camel. You’re a human doing your best—and that’s enough.
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