Why New Parents Are Exhausted 24/7—And What Can Help
You’ve probably heard the saying: “It’s easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for a new parent to avoid being tired or stressed around the clock.” This humorous yet pointed metaphor—often used to describe the relentless demands of parenting—raises a question: Why does caring for a baby feel so all-consuming? Is this level of exhaustion inevitable, or are there ways to ease the burden? Let’s unpack the realities of parenting fatigue and explore solutions that could make those sleepless nights feel a little more manageable.
The Origin of the Metaphor
The phrase about the camel and the needle’s eye has biblical roots, originally symbolizing the near-impossibility of achieving something (like a wealthy person entering heaven). Over time, it evolved into a cultural shorthand for improbable scenarios. Applying it to parenting highlights how society often underestimates the sheer physical, emotional, and mental toll of raising an infant. Unlike a temporary challenge, parenting a newborn is a marathon with no finish line in sight—at least for the first few years.
Why New Parents Are So Exhausted
Infants operate on a 24/7 schedule, oblivious to day and night cycles. Feeding, diaper changes, and soothing cries can happen every 1–3 hours, fracturing parents’ sleep into tiny, unrefreshing fragments. Studies show that new parents lose an average of 109 minutes of sleep per night in the first year, with mothers often bearing the brunt. Chronic sleep deprivation impairs cognitive function, weakens immunity, and heightens irritability—making even simple tasks feel overwhelming.
But it’s not just about sleep. Emotional labor plays a huge role. Parents constantly worry: Is the baby eating enough? Why are they crying? Am I doing this right? This mental load—compounded by societal pressure to be a “perfect parent”—fuels anxiety. Add hormonal shifts (especially postpartum), financial stress, and the loss of personal time, and it’s no wonder many parents feel like they’re running on empty.
The Myth of “Natural Instinct”
Society often romanticizes parenthood as a joyous, instinct-driven phase. While there are moments of wonder, the narrative glosses over the steep learning curve. Humans aren’t born knowing how to swaddle a baby or interpret different cries. Trial and error, Googling at 3 a.m., and doubting every decision are part of the process. This disconnect between expectation and reality can lead to guilt: If parenting is supposed to come naturally, why does it feel so hard?
Strategies to Reduce the Burden
While total escape from fatigue might be as unlikely as that camel squeezing through a needle, there are ways to lighten the load:
1. Sleep When the Baby Sleeps (Seriously)
This cliché advice is repeated for a reason. Letting chores wait to catch up on rest—even in 20-minute bursts—can recharge you. Enlist a partner, family member, or babysitter to cover a feeding or two so you can log a few uninterrupted hours.
2. Share Responsibilities Equally
If one parent is handling most nighttime duties, resentment builds fast. Split shifts (e.g., Partner A takes 8 p.m.–2 a.m., Partner B covers 2 a.m.–8 a.m.) or alternating nights can create fairness. Single parents might lean on trusted friends or hire temporary help.
3. Lower Your Standards
A spotless house or homemade organic baby food isn’t essential. Prioritize tasks that impact health and safety (sterilizing bottles, washing hands) and let go of the rest. Frozen meals, disposable diapers, and screen time won’t ruin your child—but burnout might.
4. Talk About the Hard Parts
Social media often showcases curated “highlight reels” of parenting. Being honest with friends or joining support groups normalizes struggles. Therapists specializing in postpartum mental health can also provide coping tools.
5. Reclaim Small Moments for Yourself
A 10-minute walk, a warm shower, or a chapter of a book can reset your mood. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s survival.
The Role of Society in Supporting Parents
Individual efforts only go so far. Systemic changes are critical. For example:
– Paid parental leave allows parents to bond with their baby without financial panic.
– Flexible work policies (remote work, adjusted hours) accommodate unpredictable schedules.
– Community support networks, like free parenting classes or meal trains, reduce isolation.
Countries like Sweden and Norway, which offer generous parental leave and affordable childcare, report lower levels of parental stress. While not every society can replicate these models, advocating for better policies can create incremental change.
Final Thoughts
Yes, parenting a baby is exhausting—often as improbably relentless as threading a camel through a needle. But recognizing the why behind the fatigue (sleep disruption, emotional labor, societal gaps) empowers parents to seek solutions. By embracing imperfection, sharing the load, and pushing for systemic support, families can transform an impossible-seeming journey into one that’s challenging yet manageable. After all, even camels find oases eventually.
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