Why “Just Get an Evaluation” Might Be the Worst Thing to Tell Worried Parents
You see the signs. Your child struggles where peers seem to flourish – maybe reading feels like deciphering code, focusing is a constant battle, or social interactions leave them (and you) bewildered. You muster the courage to voice your concerns to a teacher, pediatrician, or even a well-meaning friend. And the response, delivered with the best intentions, often lands like a brick: “You should just get a full evaluation.”
While evaluations are crucial tools for understanding and supporting children, leading with this directive as the first and only step is frequently counterproductive, sometimes even harmful. It overlooks the complex emotional landscape parents navigate and ignores essential groundwork that makes the evaluation process meaningful.
Here’s why that well-intentioned advice often misses the mark:
1. It Skips the Crucial “What’s Going On?” Phase: Jumping straight to “get an evaluation” bypasses vital observation and information gathering. Parents often need space and guidance to:
Articulate Concerns Clearly: What exactly are they seeing? When? How often? How does it impact their child’s daily life (academics, home, social)? Without honing these specifics, an evaluation becomes a fishing expedition.
Gather Information: What do teachers observe? What strategies have been tried, successfully or not? What’s the child’s perspective (age-appropriate)? Collating this paints a richer picture than any single evaluation session can capture.
Rule Out Obvious Factors: Could it be temporary stress? A vision or hearing issue impacting learning? Insufficient sleep? Medication side effects? A rushed evaluation might overlook these simpler explanations.
2. It Overwhelms and Alienates: For parents already feeling anxious, vulnerable, and perhaps guilty, hearing “get a full evaluation” can feel:
Intimidating: They may not know what kind of evaluation (neuropsychological? psychoeducational? speech-language?), where to get one (school? private clinic?), or how to navigate complex systems (insurance, school district procedures).
Financially Daunting: Private evaluations can cost thousands. Even navigating school-based evaluations requires understanding legal rights (like IDEA), which is overwhelming without support.
Emotionally Dismissive: It can inadvertently shut down the parent’s immediate need for validation, empathy, and practical right-now strategies. It sends the message: “Your observations aren’t enough; you need an expert to tell you what’s wrong.”
3. It Can Set the Stage for a Flawed or Less Useful Evaluation: Evaluations are most effective when they answer specific questions. Sending a parent straight into an eval without preparation can lead to:
Vague Referrals: “We’re concerned about learning” is less helpful than “We see consistent difficulty decoding multi-syllabic words despite phonics instruction, impacting reading fluency and comprehension.”
Misplaced Focus: An evaluator might spend valuable time investigating areas less relevant to the core concerns.
Incomplete Data: Without teacher input, work samples, or detailed parent logs, the evaluator lacks context, potentially leading to an incomplete picture.
4. It Undermines Parental Intuition and Partnership: Parents are the ultimate experts on their child. Dismissing their detailed observations by immediately redirecting to formal testing can erode their confidence and sense of agency. Building a collaborative support team starts by valuing the parent’s perspective as foundational.
So, What’s a Better First Step?
Instead of “just get an evaluation,” a more supportive and effective approach involves guiding parents through foundational steps before formal assessment becomes the focus:
1. Listen Deeply and Validate: “It sounds like you’re noticing some real challenges with X. That must be worrying. Tell me more about what you’re seeing specifically.” Acknowledge their effort and concern.
2. Help Them Document and Clarify: Encourage them to:
Keep a simple log: Date/time, specific behavior/struggle observed, context (during homework? at recess? after school?).
Collect work samples that illustrate the difficulty.
Talk to teachers: “What do you observe in class? What strategies have you tried? What seems to help, even a little?”
Consider basic health checks: Vision, hearing, discuss sleep patterns with the pediatrician.
3. Explore Informal Strategies & Supports: “While we figure out next steps, have you tried anything at home that helps, even temporarily?” Offer simple, evidence-based suggestions relevant to their concerns (e.g., structured routines, visual aids, breaking tasks down). This empowers them and provides valuable data on what might work.
4. Discuss the “Why” Behind an Evaluation (When it is Time): Once concerns are documented and initial steps taken, then discuss evaluation as a tool for deeper understanding. Frame it positively: “Based on what you’ve shared and what the teacher is seeing, a comprehensive evaluation could help us pinpoint exactly where the challenges are and what specific supports would be most effective. It’s about getting the right roadmap.” Explain the types of evaluations and potential paths (school-based vs. private).
5. Provide Navigational Support: Offer concrete help: “Here’s the contact for our school’s special education coordinator,” or “These are reputable clinics in our area; check if they take your insurance,” or “Here’s a simple checklist of what to ask when you call an evaluator.”
When “Get an Evaluation” Is the Right First Step:
There are critical situations where immediate evaluation is the urgent priority:
Significant Safety Concerns: Self-harm, aggression towards others, severe elopement (running away).
Drastic Regression: Sudden loss of skills (language, social, motor).
Severe Neurological Symptoms: Seizures, significant loss of consciousness.
Clear, Profound Developmental Delays in Young Children: Where the gap is very large and early intervention is paramount.
Conclusion: Building Bridges, Not Roadblocks
Telling worried parents to “just get a full evaluation” often builds a roadblock made of overwhelm, confusion, and missed opportunities for early understanding. It skips the essential bridge-building phase: validating their experience, helping them clarify and document concerns, exploring simple supports, and preparing for the evaluation process itself.
The most effective support starts with listening, guiding, and empowering parents to become informed partners in understanding their child’s needs. Then, when a comprehensive evaluation is the necessary next step, it becomes a targeted, collaborative tool for unlocking understanding and building the right support system – a tool approached with clarity, purpose, and a sense of partnership, not fear and confusion. The journey to supporting a child is rarely linear; starting with empathy and practical groundwork makes the path toward assessment, if needed, far smoother and more effective for everyone involved.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » Why “Just Get an Evaluation” Might Be the Worst Thing to Tell Worried Parents