Why Do People Keep Going? Exploring the Big Question of Life’s Worth
We’ve all been there—staring at the ceiling at 3 a.m., wondering, “Is any of this really worth it?” Whether it’s the daily grind, heartbreak, loss, or just existential boredom, moments of doubt about life’s value are universal. But here’s the curious thing: most people do keep going. Why? What makes life feel worth living, even when it’s hard? Let’s unpack this age-old question through science, philosophy, and everyday human experiences.
The Optimism Bias: Why We’re Wired to Hope
Humans have a fascinating trait called the “optimism bias.” Studies show that even in tough times, we tend to believe things will improve. Neuroscientists suggest this isn’t just wishful thinking—it’s survival. Our brains are programmed to focus on potential rewards (like love, joy, or purpose) rather than dwell indefinitely on pain. This doesn’t mean suffering isn’t real, but it explains why many people default to seeing life as worthwhile, even after setbacks.
Take resilience, for example. Psychologist Viktor Frankl, who survived the Holocaust, famously wrote that humans can endure almost anything if they find meaning in their struggles. His book Man’s Search for Meaning argues that purpose—whether through relationships, creativity, or contributing to others—fuels our will to keep going. Modern research supports this: people who identify a “why” in their lives report higher satisfaction, even in adversity.
The Role of Connection: We’re Not Meant to Go It Alone
One of the strongest predictors of life satisfaction is social connection. Harvard’s decades-long study on happiness concluded that close relationships—not money or fame—are what make people feel their lives matter. Think about it: laughter with friends, hugs from family, or even casual chats with neighbors create moments that anchor us to the world.
But what about those who feel isolated? Loneliness can distort our perception of life’s worth, making everything seem bleak. This is where community and small acts of kindness come in. Volunteering, joining clubs, or simply reaching out to someone can reignite a sense of belonging. As author Johann Hari notes, “The opposite of addiction isn’t sobriety—it’s connection.” The same principle applies to finding meaning.
When Life Feels Pointless: Acknowledging the Dark Spots
Of course, not everyone feels life is worthwhile. Depression, trauma, or chronic illness can make existence feel like a relentless battle. Mental health struggles often distort reality, convincing people they’re a burden or that pain will never end. This is where the question of life’s value becomes urgent—and deeply personal.
It’s important to validate these feelings without romanticizing them. Philosopher Albert Camus argued that life’s inherent lack of meaning isn’t a reason to despair but an invitation to create our own purpose. For some, that might mean seeking therapy or medication. For others, it’s about small, daily victories: cooking a meal, finishing a project, or watching a sunrise. As writer Matt Haig puts it, “You can be hopeful and sad at the same time. That’s the most human thing.”
Cultural Perspectives: What Society Tells Us (and What It Gets Wrong)
Society often ties life’s worth to productivity: career success, wealth, or social media “likes.” This narrow view leaves many feeling inadequate. But cross-cultural studies reveal a different story. In countries like Denmark or Costa Rica, where work-life balance and community are prioritized, people report higher life satisfaction. Meanwhile, Indigenous philosophies, such as the Māori concept of “whakapapa” (interconnectedness), emphasize that meaning comes from our place in a larger web of life—not individual achievements.
This challenges the idea that we must “earn” our right to exist. Instead, it suggests that simply being—experiencing the world, growing, and connecting—is enough.
How to Nurture a Life Worth Living (Even on Bad Days)
So, how do we cultivate a sense of worth when life feels shaky? Here are practical steps backed by psychology:
1. Name the “Why”: Write down what matters to you—values, people, or passions. Revisit this list when doubt creeps in.
2. Embrace Micro-Joys: Notice small pleasures: the smell of coffee, a favorite song, or sunlight through leaves. These moments add up.
3. Reframe Challenges: Ask, “What can this teach me?” instead of “Why is this happening to me?” Growth often hides in discomfort.
4. Seek “Enoughness”: Let go of perfection. You don’t need to be extraordinary to deserve happiness.
5. Reach Out: Share your struggles. Vulnerability often deepens connections and reminds us we’re not alone.
The Takeaway: It’s Okay to Be Uncertain
Questioning life’s worth isn’t a flaw—it’s a sign of depth. The answer might shift daily, and that’s normal. Some days, meaning comes from grand goals; other days, it’s about surviving until bedtime.
Ultimately, the fact that we’re here, breathing and wondering, is its own kind of miracle. As poet Mary Oliver asked, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” The beauty is that the question itself—the act of seeking—keeps the conversation alive. And maybe, for now, that’s enough.
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