Why Adults Should Stop Saying “Kids Don’t Talk Like That”
Every generation has its quirks, but one complaint seems to echo across dining tables and school hallways like clockwork: “Kids these days don’t talk like that!” Whether it’s slang, abbreviations, or pop culture references, adults often dismiss youth communication as nonsensical or “inauthentic.” But what if we reframed this criticism? Instead of labeling young people’s language as “wrong,” understanding why they speak the way they do could bridge generational divides and foster meaningful connections.
The Myth of “Proper” Language
Language is fluid. Think about how people communicated 50 years ago: formal letters, landline calls, and face-to-face conversations dominated. Today, teens swap memes, text in acronyms, and adopt niche slang from TikTok. This evolution isn’t a breakdown of language—it’s a natural adaptation to new contexts. For example, abbreviations like “LOL” (laugh out loud) or “BRB” (be right back) emerged from early internet chat rooms to convey tone in text-based conversations. Similarly, modern slang like “rizz” (charisma) or “no cap” (no lie) reflects the creativity of young people navigating identity and belonging.
When adults dismiss these shifts as “not real language,” they overlook a key truth: all language is invented. Shakespeare coined terms like “eyeball” and “bedroom.” The word “selfie” was added to the Oxford Dictionary in 2013. What feels unfamiliar today could become tomorrow’s standard vocabulary.
Why Generational Gaps Feel Wider Than Ever
Technology accelerates linguistic change. Previous generations had regional dialects that evolved over decades. Today, a viral TikTok sound can spread globally in hours, birthing new phrases overnight. Consider how “cheugy” (uncool) or “skibidi” (absurd humor) became universal Gen Z terms almost instantly. To adults, this pace feels disorienting. But for young people, adapting quickly is a survival skill in a fast-paced digital world.
Another factor? The rise of niche communities. Online spaces allow teens to create micro-languages tailored to their interests, from gaming jargon (“GG” for “good game”) to fandom-specific terms (“stanning” a celebrity). These codes foster belonging but can alienate outsiders. When adults label these terms as “weird,” it inadvertently dismisses the subcultures kids care deeply about.
The Real Problem: Assumptions About Respect
Complaints about how kids talk often mask deeper concerns. Adults might interpret informal language as disrespectful (“Why don’t they say ‘please’?”) or fear that slang undermines “serious” communication. But studies show young people code-switch effortlessly. They use casual language with peers and adjust tone for teachers or bosses—a skill older generations mastered in their own way (think: “Yes, sir” vs. “Hey, dude”).
The issue isn’t disrespect; it’s differing expectations. A teen texting “IDK” (I don’t know) isn’t being rude—they’re matching the efficiency of digital communication. Similarly, phrases like “That’s cap” (a lie) or “It’s giving delulu” (delusional) add humor and nuance to conversations. When adults interpret this as laziness, they miss the emotional layers behind the words.
How to Bridge the Communication Gap
1. Listen Without Judgment
Instead of correcting or mocking unfamiliar terms, ask questions: “What does ‘spill the tea’ mean?” Curiosity shows respect for their world. You might even learn something—many youth-driven phrases, like “ghosting” or “cancel culture,” have entered mainstream vocabularies because adults paid attention.
2. Acknowledge the Double Standard
Adults often romanticize their own youthful slang (“groovy,” “rad,” “on fleek”) while criticizing today’s trends. Reflect on how your generation’s language was once deemed “improper.” This humility creates common ground.
3. Embrace Code-Switching as a Life Skill
Discuss when casual vs. formal language is appropriate. For example: “I love that you say ‘yeet’ with friends, but let’s practice professional phrases for your internship interview.” This approach validates their identity while preparing them for diverse settings.
4. Recognize the Emotional Subtext
Slang often conveys feelings that formal language can’t. If a teen says, “School is mid,” dig deeper. “Mid” (average/boring) might signal burnout or a need for support. Language is a window into their experiences.
The Bigger Picture: Language as Identity
For young people, language isn’t just communication—it’s identity. Using slang signals membership in a group, much like fashion or music tastes. Mocking their vocabulary can feel like rejecting who they are. Conversely, showing interest builds trust. A parent who learns to differentiate “Sigma” (independent leader) from “NPC” (unoriginal person) isn’t just learning words; they’re investing in their child’s social world.
History shows that linguistic innovation drives progress. Jazz musicians in the 1920s coined “cool” to describe their rebellion against rigid norms. Hippies in the 1960s used “far out” to challenge mainstream values. Today’s youth language reflects their values: inclusivity (pronouns in bios), mental health awareness (“I need to ghost for self-care”), and digital fluency (“Let me screenshot that”).
Final Thoughts
The next time you hear a phrase like “It’s giving main character energy,” pause before dismissing it. Language evolves because society does. By embracing this change, adults can move past “kids don’t talk like that” to a more constructive stance: “Tell me more.” After all, communication isn’t about preserving the past—it’s about understanding the present to build a better future together.
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