The Midnight Musings of a Sleep-Deprived Student: A Completely Scientific Class Rating System
We’ve all been there. It’s 2:24 a.m., your brain is buzzing with a mix of exhaustion and restless energy, and suddenly, the most pressing question in the universe isn’t “Why does organic chemistry exist?” but “How would I rate my classes if they were Netflix shows?” Welcome to the chaotic yet oddly satisfying world of late-night class evaluations—a ritual born from boredom, caffeine overdoses, and the universal student experience of questioning life choices. Let’s dive into this highly scientific (read: extremely subjective) ranking system.
—
Category 1: The “Plot Twist” Lecture
Example Class: Introduction to Philosophy
Rating: ★★★★☆
Picture this: You show up expecting to debate whether trees make sounds when they fall in empty forests. Instead, your professor spends 45 minutes arguing that reality might be a simulation run by hyper-intelligent raccoons. Philosophy classes are the ultimate plot twist generators. One day you’re dissecting Kant’s moral theories; the next, you’re wondering if your existence is just a glitch in a raccoon’s coding experiment. The unpredictability earns major points, but loses a star because, let’s be real, none of this helps with adulting.
—
Category 2: The “Slow-Burn Drama”
Example Class: Calculus II
Rating: ★★☆☆☆
Calculus is the Mad Men of academia: slow, confusing, and filled with moments where you whisper, “Wait, what’s happening?” to your notebook. You spend weeks graphing functions that look like abstract art, only to realize the final exam is basically a pop quiz on hieroglyphics. The “slow burn” here isn’t the satisfying kind—it’s more like watching paint dry while someone explains derivatives in Morse code. Two stars for effort, but subtract three for emotional trauma.
—
Category 3: The “Cult Classic”
Example Class: Astronomy 101
Rating: ★★★★★
Astronomy lectures are the Rocky Horror Picture Show of your schedule. They’re weird, wonderful, and best enjoyed at midnight when your brain is too tired to question why Jupiter’s storms look like Van Gogh paintings. The professor cracks jokes about black holes “ghosting” planets, and suddenly, you’re wide awake, debating whether Pluto deserves its planetary redemption arc. Five stars for making you feel like a tiny, insignificant speck in the universe—in a fun way!
—
Category 4: The “Cancelled After One Season”
Example Class: Financial Accounting
Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
This class is the Emily in Paris of your degree: flashy on paper but painfully shallow in execution. You’re promised insider secrets to wealth and success, only to spend three hours a week learning how to balance a checkbook (spoiler: Excel does it for you). By week two, you’re drafting a petition to replace the syllabus with a TikTok playlist titled “How to Adult Without Crying.” Zero stars. Negative stars. Someone call Netflix’s cancellation department.
—
Category 5: The “Underrated Gem”
Example Class: Creative Writing Workshop
Rating: ★★★★☆
This is the Fleabag of your course catalog: quietly brilliant, emotionally raw, and filled with moments where you laugh so hard you snort coffee onto your keyboard. Sure, sharing your poetry about existential dread feels like performing open-heart surgery in public, but the rush of creativity is worth it. Minus one star because feedback sessions sometimes devolve into therapy circles where Karen from row three cries about her childhood guinea pig.
—
Why We Do This (Besides Sleep Deprivation)
Rating classes at 2:24 a.m. isn’t just a procrastination tactic—it’s survival. When your brain is fried from memorizing the Krebs cycle or translating Beowulf from Old English, turning education into a snarky Yelp review helps reclaim a sliver of control. It’s cathartic, relatable, and weirdly motivating. After all, if you can laugh about accounting being a “taxing experience” (pun intended), you can survive another 8 a.m. lecture.
—
Final Thought: Embrace the Chaos
So next time you’re staring at the ceiling at 2:24 a.m., wondering why you chose a major that requires memorizing 17th-century sonnets, remember: every class has its quirks. Some are Oscar-worthy masterpieces; others belong in a dumpster fire compilation. But together, they form the beautifully messy story of your academic journey—one caffeine-fueled all-nighter at a time.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with a textbook and a pot of questionable dorm-room coffee. Happy rating, fellow night owls! 🦉
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » The Midnight Musings of a Sleep-Deprived Student: A Completely Scientific Class Rating System