That Question You Keep Asking: Is This Thing Really Worth My Time?
It pops into your head almost daily, sometimes with a sigh, sometimes with genuine frustration: “Is this thing a waste of my time?” Maybe it’s that mandatory meeting that feels painfully irrelevant to your actual work. Perhaps it’s scrolling through yet another social media feed, the minutes slipping away unnoticed. It could be that hobby you started with enthusiasm but now fills you with a vague sense of guilt whenever you pick it up. This nagging question is incredibly common, but often, we ask it too late or without truly understanding why we feel that way. Let’s dig into what that question really means and how to answer it effectively.
Beyond the Surface: What Are We Really Asking?
When we label something a “waste of time,” it’s usually shorthand for something deeper. We’re often expressing:
1. A Value Mismatch: The activity doesn’t align with what we currently perceive as important – our goals, values, or priorities. Learning advanced calculus might feel like a waste if your immediate goal is writing a novel, but invaluable if you’re aiming for an engineering degree.
2. Opportunity Cost Anxiety: We’re acutely aware that the minutes spent on this are minutes not spent on something else – work, family, rest, or another potentially more rewarding pursuit. That hour spent reorganizing your sock drawer? It could have been an hour reading, exercising, or connecting with a friend.
3. Lack of Engagement or Enjoyment: The activity is boring, frustrating, or feels meaningless in the moment. Mindlessly refreshing emails or sitting through a poorly run training session can trigger this feeling intensely.
4. Unclear Purpose or Outcome: We don’t see the point. Why am I doing this? What tangible or intangible benefit does it actually deliver? If the purpose is opaque, the time invested feels hollow.
It’s Not Just About Productivity
Here’s a crucial point often missed in our hustle-obsessed culture: Not everything needs a concrete, measurable output to be “worthwhile.” Relaxation, daydreaming, enjoying a hobby purely for fun, or simply connecting with someone without an agenda – these aren’t “wastes” of time. They are essential components of a balanced, human life. They recharge us, spark creativity, and build relationships. Labeling downtime as wasteful is often a fast track to burnout and resentment.
The key difference lies in intention and awareness. Browsing funny cat videos for 15 minutes as a deliberate mental break is very different from losing two hours down a vortex of autoplay videos you didn’t even enjoy.
How to Actually Answer the Question: A Framework
Instead of just feeling vaguely guilty, try this more structured approach next time the question arises:
1. Define “This Thing”: Be specific. Is it the entire activity, or just this particular instance of it? (e.g., “All meetings” vs. “This specific Tuesday status meeting”).
2. Identify Your Expectations & Goals: What did you hope to get out of this? Was it to learn something, achieve a specific outcome, relax, connect, or simply fulfill an obligation?
3. Assess the Reality: Honestly evaluate what actually happened.
Did you achieve your intended goal, even partially?
What was the actual outcome? (Tangible results, knowledge gained, connection made, stress level change, mood shift).
How did you feel during and after?
4. Consider the Alternatives: What else could you realistically have been doing with that time? What would the opportunity cost have been?
5. Reframe “Waste”: Instead of a blanket “waste” or “not waste,” ask:
Was it necessary? (e.g., filing taxes).
Was it enjoyable or restorative? (e.g., listening to music).
Did it align with my values or long-term goals? (e.g., volunteering).
Did it build something? (Skill, relationship, understanding).
Was I present and intentional, or mindless?
Real-World Examples:
The Endless Work Meeting: Expectation: Gain clarity on Project X. Reality: Covered old ground, only 10 minutes relevant to you. Felt: Frustrated, impatient. Alternative: Could have progressed on your urgent task. Verdict: This specific meeting was inefficient and provided low value for you. The activity of necessary meetings isn’t inherently wasteful, but poorly run ones often are. Action: Advocate for agendas and focused discussions.
Scrolling Social Media: Expectation: Quick check-in/break. Reality: 45 minutes gone, saw ads and curated perfection, felt worse. Felt: Drained, inadequate. Alternative: Short walk, calling a friend, reading a chapter. Verdict: This session was a waste because it was mindless and negatively impacted well-being. The platform isn’t inherently evil, but unconscious use often is. Action: Set timers or use apps to limit usage.
Learning Guitar: Expectation: Play songs for fun, challenge yourself. Reality: Practice is slow, fingers hurt, can barely play a chord. Felt: Discouraged. Alternative: Watching TV. Verdict: Right now, it feels frustrating and progress is slow. BUT, it aligns with a goal (learning a skill) and can be enjoyable with adjusted expectations. Not inherently a waste, but mindset needs work. Action: Focus on tiny wins, shorter sessions, remember the “why”.
The Power of Mindset and Choice
Ultimately, the feeling of wasting time often stems from a lack of agency. We feel trapped in an activity we didn’t consciously choose or see value in.
Reframe Obligations: If something is truly mandatory (like taxes), focus on efficiency and getting it done well to free up time for preferred activities. Accept it as a necessary trade-off.
Choose Intentionally: Whenever possible, make conscious choices about how you spend your time. Even choosing to relax is valid if done deliberately.
Practice Presence: Being fully engaged in an activity – whether working, talking, or resting – makes it far less likely to feel like a waste. Mindfulness helps.
Notice the Patterns: Pay attention to what consistently triggers that “waste of time” feeling. Is it certain types of tasks, specific people, particular times of day? This awareness helps you proactively adjust.
So, Is It Ever a Waste?
Yes, sometimes it genuinely is. Time spent on activities that consistently damage your well-being, actively work against your values or goals, or are done with such profound disengagement that you gain nothing – positive or negative – might qualify.
But most of the time, the answer to “Is this thing a waste of time?” is far more nuanced. It depends on your goals, your values, your state of mind, and your level of intention. Instead of a quick judgment, use the question as a valuable prompt for self-reflection. Ask the deeper questions about purpose, outcome, and alignment. Sometimes, the most “productive” thing you can do is absolutely nothing at all. The key is knowing why you’re doing it, and being at peace with that choice. Stop asking if it’s a waste; start asking if it’s serving you, in this moment, in the way you need. That’s a question much more likely to lead to a fulfilling answer, and a better relationship with the precious time you have.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » That Question You Keep Asking: Is This Thing Really Worth My Time