It’s Always Them: Unpacking the Complex World of Teacher’s Pets
You know the feeling. The teacher poses a question to the class, and before most brains have even processed the words, that hand shoots up. Eager. Confident. Ready. And a collective, albeit silent, sigh ripples through the room. Again. It’s always them.
The “teacher’s pet.” It’s a label loaded with baggage, sparking everything from mild annoyance to genuine resentment among classmates. But what’s really going on here? Is it just harmless enthusiasm, or something more problematic? And honestly, do we like them, or not?
Beyond the Label: What Makes a “Pet”?
Let’s be clear: not every engaged student is a teacher’s pet. Liking school, participating actively, and doing well are positive traits. The “pet” perception usually kicks in when it feels like a specific student consistently receives:
1. Disproportionate Attention: Always called on first, given extra time to answer, or engaged in prolonged side conversations while others wait.
2. Perceived Leniency: Seeming to get away with minor infractions others wouldn’t, or receiving praise that feels slightly inflated compared to similar efforts from peers.
3. Special Privileges: Maybe they’re the perpetual note-taker to the office, the designated tech helper, or the first choice for any coveted classroom job. Consistently.
4. An Exclusive Rapport: An observable, easy-going, almost chummy dynamic between that student and the teacher that isn’t replicated with others.
Why Does It Happen? It’s Not Always Simple
Pointing fingers solely at the eager student or labeling the teacher as “unfair” oversimplifies a complex dynamic. Several factors are often at play:
Teacher Convenience: Let’s be honest, teaching is demanding. Calling on a reliable student who consistently knows the answer and articulates it well can keep a lesson flowing smoothly. It’s efficient, especially when time is tight or the rest of the class is silent.
Natural Affinity: Teachers are human. Sometimes a student’s personality, interests, or communication style just naturally clicks with a teacher’s own. This unconscious bias is powerful and hard to avoid completely, even with the best intentions.
Student Initiative: Some students actively cultivate this relationship. They arrive early, stay late, ask insightful questions beyond the curriculum, remember the teacher’s birthday, or offer genuine help. This proactive engagement naturally builds rapport.
Recognition of Effort: Often, the “pet” is simply a highly conscientious, hard-working student. The teacher might be genuinely trying to recognize and encourage that effort, sometimes without realizing how it looks to others.
The Silent Majority: When most of the class hesitates to participate, the few who consistently do inevitably stand out. Their voices naturally fill the silence, creating the perception of favoritism, even if the teacher is equally open to others who simply don’t step forward.
The Classroom Impact: Ripples Beyond the Front Row
The “It’s always them” phenomenon isn’t just harmless gossip. It can have tangible effects on the classroom ecosystem:
1. Diminished Participation: Why bother raising your hand if you know Sarah or Mark will get called first (and maybe answer before you’ve even thought it through)? This perception can actively discourage other students from engaging, robbing the class of diverse perspectives.
2. Resentment and Division: It fosters an “us vs. them” mentality. The perceived “pet” can become socially isolated, targeted for teasing, or unfairly blamed for group grades. Conversely, the “pet” might feel unfairly judged or misunderstood by peers.
3. Undermined Confidence: Students who feel overlooked might start doubting their own abilities or the value of their contributions. “Why try? The teacher only notices X anyway.”
4. Distrust in Fairness: The most damaging impact is perhaps the erosion of trust in the teacher’s fairness and objectivity. If students believe grading or opportunities are influenced by personal favoritism, it undermines the entire learning environment. Equity feels as important as fairness here – does everyone get a chance to be seen?
So… Do We Like Them? The Torn Feelings
The answer is rarely simple “yes” or “no.” Our feelings about the “teacher’s pet” are often a messy mix:
Respect (Sometimes): It’s hard not to grudgingly respect the consistent effort, preparedness, and courage to participate constantly, even if it’s annoying. We might admire their knowledge, even as we roll our eyes at the tenth hand-raise of the hour.
Annoyance (Frequently): The constant spotlight, the feeling of being perpetually second-best for attention, the interruption of your own thought process – it’s understandably irritating. “Give someone else a chance!” is a common internal (or sometimes external) cry.
Understanding (Occasionally): Some students recognize that the “pet” might be genuinely passionate, anxious (participation can be a coping mechanism), or simply unaware of how they’re perceived. This can breed a degree of sympathy.
Resentment (When It Feels Unfair): This boils up when perceived favoritism seems to translate into tangible advantages – easier grading, prime project partners, exemptions from rules. This is where “dislike” solidifies.
Navigating the Dynamic: Tips for a Healthier Classroom
So, what can be done? It requires awareness from everyone:
For Teachers:
Actively Monitor Participation: Use tools like randomized calling (popsicle sticks, apps), “wait time” (giving everyone 10+ seconds to think before taking answers), and targeted cold-calling (“Jason, what are your thoughts on this point?”).
Broaden Your Radar: Consciously look for quieter students showing signs of understanding (nodding, thoughtful expressions) and gently invite them in (“Maria, I saw you nodding, what do you think?”).
Reflect on Interactions: Are you consistently turning to the same few students? Why? Is it efficiency, comfort, or genuine merit? Be honest with yourself.
Value Different Contributions: Praise thoughtful questions, respectful disagreement, collaborative work, and improvement – not just the first or loudest answer.
Be Transparent (When Appropriate): If giving a responsibility, briefly explain why that student was chosen (e.g., “Sam showed great responsibility last time,” or “We’re rotating this job weekly”).
For Students (The “Pets”):
Practice Active Listening: Show genuine interest in classmates’ contributions. Build on their ideas instead of immediately jumping in with your own.
Share the Air: Sometimes, consciously hold back. Let others have the first chance. Count to five mentally before raising your hand.
Be Humble: Enthusiasm is great, but arrogance is off-putting. Acknowledge when others have good points.
Be Aware: Consider how your constant participation might feel to quieter peers. It’s not about dimming your light, but allowing space for others to shine too.
For Students (The Others):
Step Up (Gently): Challenge yourself to participate more, even just once per lesson. Your perspective is valuable.
Assume Good Intent (Initially): Give both the teacher and the eager student the benefit of the doubt. Most aren’t trying to be malicious.
Communicate Respectfully (If Needed): If it feels like a genuine problem impacting learning, talk to the teacher privately, focusing on your desire for more participation opportunities rather than accusing them of favoritism. Frame it as wanting to contribute more.
The Bottom Line: It’s Complicated
The cry of “It’s always them!” resonates because it taps into a fundamental human desire: to be seen, heard, and treated fairly. The “teacher’s pet” dynamic is rarely black and white. It’s woven from threads of teacher habits, student personality, classroom culture, and unconscious bias.
While genuine favoritism is problematic and needs addressing, often it’s a more nuanced issue of perception, engagement gaps, and the challenges of managing diverse learners. Recognizing the complexity – understanding why it might be “always them,” acknowledging the mixed feelings it evokes, and taking proactive steps to foster broader participation – is key to moving beyond eye-rolls and resentment towards a classroom where everyone feels they have a chance to be the one who knows the answer. It’s about creating an environment where multiple hands feel empowered to shoot up, knowing they might actually get called on.
Please indicate: Thinking In Educating » It’s Always Them: Unpacking the Complex World of Teacher’s Pets