I’m the Father of 8 Kids – Here’s What Nobody Tells You About Raising a Big Family
If you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to parent eight children, let me start by saying this: life is loud, messy, and completely unpredictable. As a dad of eight (yes, eight), I’ve navigated everything from toddler tantrums to teenage drama, and I’ve learned that raising a big family is equal parts chaos and magic. People often ask me questions ranging from “How do you afford it?” to “Do you even sleep?!” So, let’s dive into the real, unfiltered truth about parenting a small army of humans.
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“How Do You Handle the Chaos?”
Let’s get this out of the way first: chaos is part of the package. Picture mornings where three kids are crying over mismatched socks while another two argue about whose turn it is to feed the dog. Then add a baby who just discovered the joy of throwing oatmeal at walls.
The key isn’t avoiding chaos—it’s embracing it. Routines are your best friend. We have chore charts, meal schedules, and a “no screens before homework” rule. But even with structure, flexibility is crucial. Some days, the toddler will wear pajamas to school, and the teenager will forget their lunchbox. You learn to laugh instead of stress.
Pro tip: Assign older kids age-appropriate responsibilities. My 14-year-old helps with breakfast prep, and my 12-year-old supervises bedtime stories for the littles. Teamwork isn’t just a buzzword here—it’s survival.
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“How Do You Give Each Child Enough Attention?”
This is the question that keeps me up at night. With eight kids, it’s impossible to spend hours one-on-one with each child daily. But here’s the secret: quality trumps quantity.
I carve out “micro-moments.” For example, I’ll chat with my 10-year-old about her soccer game while driving her to practice. I play LEGO with my 6-year-old for 15 minutes before dinner. My wife and I also schedule monthly “date nights” with individual kids. Even something as simple as a walk around the block can make a child feel seen.
Another thing people don’t realize? Siblings become built-in support systems. My kids learn empathy by comforting each other, and they bond over shared experiences (like plotting to hide broccoli in the trash).
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“Is It Financially Stressful?”
Short answer: yes. Long answer: yes, but you adapt.
Raising eight kids isn’t cheap. Grocery bills are astronomical (we go through 4 gallons of milk a week), and hand-me-downs are a way of life. But we’ve learned to budget ruthlessly. We buy in bulk, prioritize needs over wants, and take advantage of free community resources (library programs, park outings, etc.).
One unexpected perk? Kids learn financial responsibility early. My teenagers budget their allowance, and even the younger ones understand that “extras” like toys or treats require saving.
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“How Do You Stay Patient?”
Confession: I don’t. Not always.
Parenting this many kids means someone is always mad, sad, or hangry. I’ve yelled over spilled milk (literally). But over time, I’ve learned to apologize when I lose my cool. Kids don’t need perfect parents—they need ones who own their mistakes.
Mindfulness helps. Taking five deep breaths before responding to a tantrum or stepping outside for fresh air when the noise feels overwhelming makes a difference. My wife and I also prioritize “shift work.” If one of us is tapped out, the other takes over.
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“Do the Kids Get Along?”
Sibling rivalry? Oh, it’s real. But so is sibling loyalty.
Fights over who stole whose hairbrush or who hogged the video game controller happen daily. But I’ve also seen my 16-year-old stay up all night to help his little brother finish a science project. Or my daughters team up to convince their mom to adopt another guinea pig (spoiler: we now have three).
We encourage conflict resolution by teaching kids to express feelings without blame (“I felt hurt when you…”). Family meetings also help air grievances and brainstorm solutions together.
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“Would You Recommend Having a Big Family?”
This is the million-dollar question.
The truth? It’s not for everyone. It requires sacrifice—less personal time, tighter finances, and constant logistical juggling. But for my wife and me, the joy outweighs the stress. There’s nothing like watching your kids grow into kind, curious humans. Holidays are vibrant, birthdays feel like festivals, and there’s always someone to laugh with (or at, when Dad attempts TikTok dances).
If you’re considering a big family, ask yourself: Can you thrive in organized chaos? Are you okay with constant noise and mess? Most importantly, do you have a partner (or support network) willing to share the load?
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Final Thoughts: The Magic in the Mess
Parenting eight kids has taught me that love isn’t a finite resource—it multiplies. Sure, I’ve forgotten school events, burned pancakes, and worn mismatched shoes to work. But I’ve also witnessed first steps, first crushes, and late-night heart-to-hearts that I’ll cherish forever.
So, to anyone curious about life in a big family: It’s messy, it’s wild, and it’s utterly worth it. Just stock up on laundry detergent… and coffee.
Got more questions? Drop them below—I’ve got stories (and advice) to spare!
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